What Does "Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys" Mean?

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Use this popular phrase as a mantra to avoid unnecessary drama

Co-authored by Glenn Carreau

Last Updated: December 9, 2024 Fact Checked

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Meaning

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Origin

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Using “Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys”

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Is the phrase rude?

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Other Proverbs

Have you heard the phrase “Not my circus, not my monkeys” but aren’t sure what it means? We’re here to help. “Not my circus, not my monkeys” is a Polish proverb that’s become quite popular among English-speakers as well, and it means that something isn’t your problem. Some people even use this phrase as a personal mantra to remind themselves not to get involved in things that don’t affect them! In this article, we’ll explain the full meaning and history behind “Not my circus, not my monkeys,” and offer tips about how to use and apply it to your own life.

Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys: Overview

“Not my circus, not my monkeys” is a Polish proverb meaning something isn’t your problem or that you’re not responsible for it. It’s often used to set boundaries and detach from situations you may not want to get involved in, especially if they’re beyond your control.

Section 1 of 5:

Meaning of “Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys”

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The phrase is a popular proverb meaning “That’s not my problem.” “Not my circus, not my monkeys” is a colorful way of saying something isn’t your business, or you’re not responsible for controlling a particular situation. It’s also a way to tell someone you’re not getting involved in something (especially if you feel like it’s not your problem to get involved in). For example: ^{[1]
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- “My two friends are fighting and want me to take sides, but you know what I think? Not my circus, not my monkeys.”
- “There’s a lot of family drama going on, but I stopped paying attention a while ago. Not my circus, not my monkeys!”

Section 2 of 5:

Origin of “Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys”

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The proverb is originally Polish (“Nie mój cyrk, nie moje małpy"). While it’s unclear exactly when and how “Not my circus, not my monkeys” was created, it originates in Poland. The proverb may reflect Polish views on dealing with (and staying out of) social and political conflict, advocating a detached attitude for the sake of protecting yourself and conveying the idea that you can’t control everything. ^{[2]
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- Although it’s an old Polish saying, “Not my circus, not my monkeys,” has become increasingly popular in the U.S. over the years.
- In terms of pop culture and memes, millennials and younger generations often reference the saying in their social media posts (though it's also been used in the Netflix series YOU ).

Section 3 of 5:

Using “Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys” as a Personal Mantra

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Take the proverb to heart when dealing with things you can’t control. When you think about it, “Not my circus, not my monkeys” is a creative way to say you’re setting boundaries for yourself . It’s worth using when a situation or problem is totally beyond your control or doesn’t actually involve you at all. It’s like saying you’ve decided not to worry about something because it’s not really yours to worry about. ^{[3]
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- For example, say other people in your life (whether they’re friends, family, or coworkers) try to pull you into their drama—or a conflict that has no direct ties to you.
- Taking a “Not my circus, not my monkeys” approach can be helpful for you because getting involved could quickly become a source of unnecessary (and avoidable) stress. Other people have a problem, so why is it yours to fix?
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Find a balance between getting involved and letting things go. While boundaries are a good thing, there’s also the risk of becoming too detached. Some things aren’t your problem or yours to control, but it’s important to recognize when you do have the control (and the responsibility) to deal with something. So, rather than applying the proverb to every situation, figure out where it works and where it doesn’t. ^{[4]
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- For example, say you’re unhappy with the current political situation in your hometown. You can say, “Not my circus, not my monkeys,” but that’s not entirely true: you can do things to make your voice heard , and it might make you feel better to do so!
- Conversely, say you see someone else making poor decisions. You can give them advice if they ask for it, but you ultimately can’t control their actions—so it may be better to let your frustration go and focus on what you can control.
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Ask yourself if a situation is “your circus” or if it’s beyond you. If you’re unsure whether you should get involved in a situation or set boundaries for yourself and say, “Not my circus, not my monkeys,” it may help to reflect on what’s going on—and whether you have any control over it. So, consider the following questions: ^{[5]
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- Are you responsible for the problem? If you’re responsible, then it stands to reason you should take action. You aren't obligated to get involved if you’re not responsible (meaning someone else’s actions have caused the problem).
- What’s the problem, and how could it be corrected? If you’re responsible for a problem, the next step is figuring out what went wrong and what steps you could take to fix things . If you need help, you can always reach out to people whose judgment you trust!
- Will getting involved affect your mood and mental health? If you aren’t responsible for a problem but still feel compelled to do something, it may also help to ask yourself how getting involved would affect you. Would it actually fix anything? Would it make you feel better or worse?

Section 4 of 5:

Is “Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys” rude?

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The proverb isn’t rude on its own, but it can be used impolitely. There’s nothing inherently rude in saying, “Not my circus, not my monkeys,” about a situation, especially if you’re talking to someone uninvolved. However, some people might think you’re rude if that’s how you reply when they try talking to you about one of their problems. So, if you need an alternative, here are a few gentler options:
- “I’m uncomfortable talking about this. Could we please change the subject?”
- “I’d rather not get involved in this, but I’m happy to talk about something else.”
- “I know this is important to you, but I don’t feel like it’s my place to get involved.”
- “I appreciate your opinion on this, but I have a right to my own feelings, too.”

Section 5 of 5:

Other Popular Proverbs

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This proverb involves a circus-themed metaphor similar to “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” However, it’s another way of saying that the same problems that were coming up before are still present, even though the situation is different or has changed.
This is a cautionary proverb; it warns that getting overly curious or inquisitive about other people’s affairs can lead to trouble. For example, it’s usually used to warn someone not to ask too many questions, especially about something sensitive. ^{[6]
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This proverb is all about encouraging people to take action. It means someone who takes the initiative or starts something early has the best chance for success. For example, you might hear someone say this about getting in line early for a good seat at a show or starting a project early to do a quality job on it.
This proverb means there’s no point getting upset about something that has already happened and can’t be changed. For example, you might hear it used to tell someone that getting upset about a mistake they made isn’t helpful; it’s better to learn from that mistake and move on.
This proverb means that every situation has a positive side or hopeful aspect, no matter how unfortunate or sad—even if you can’t see it at first. For example, if someone lost their job, you might say, “Every cloud has a silver lining,” to encourage them to find the positives in the situation, even though they might be upset.
This idiom means someone’s basic personality, nature, or habits can’t be changed—often referring to bad habits or traits. For example, you might hear someone use this to describe a person who won’t stop doing something harmful (like lying to others or gossiping). ^{[7]
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