Social media has changed the game when it comes to relationships—and how they end. It’s hard to have a clean breakup when you’re bombarded with images of your ex on Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok, and although it’s normal to peek at their accounts to find out how they’re doing, this can make it harder for you to move on. If you’re trying to stop looking at your ex’s social media accounts, you’ve come to the right place! We’ve compiled a complete guide on how to digitally disconnect so that you can heal and move forward with expert insights and advice from relationship coach Amy Chan.
Steps
Expert Q&A
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QuestionIs it okay to look at my ex's social media at all?Amy Chan is a Relationship Coach based in New York, New York. She is the Founder of Renew Breakup Bootcamp, a retreat that takes a scientific and spiritual approach to healing after the end of a relationship. She has over 12 years of experience helping clients work on their relationships with strategies rooted in the psychology and science of relationships and personal development. Her team of psychologists and coaches at Renew Breakup Bootcamp has helped hundreds of individuals, and the Bootcamp has been featured on CNN, Vogue, the New York Times, and Fortune. Her book based on her work, Breakup Bootcamp, was published in 2020 and was featured by the New York Times.You really should completely digitally detox from your ex. Delete old messages and photos, unfollow your ex’s accounts, and even better, take a break from social media altogether. Block their number if you have to, so you don’t obsess about your ex not contacting you. Your brain is primed for obsessive behavior during this time and your motivation system is seeking dopamine. Thus, every time you replay that romantic video of your vacation, stalk their social media or text them, you are falling into a mental trap that keeps you addicted.
Video
Tips
- Consider de-activating or deleting your social media accounts altogether if stalking your ex is a severe issue for you. Taking a break from social media can help you move on, and it's also good for your mental health in general. [18] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to sourceThanks
Tips from our Readers
- Each time you check your ex's social media, you're opening yourself up to the possibility of seeing something that hurts your feelings. Try to remember, the more you stalk, the more chances there are of you getting hurt.
Warnings
- Keep in mind that if you are using social media to find out where your ex is and then actually go to this location to see them, this is legitimate stalking and potentially illegal. If you find yourself doing this, you may need to seek professional treatment. [19] X Research sourceThanks
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-dating/202208/5-reasons-you-can-t-stop-checking-your-ex-s-social-media
- ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
- ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/this_is_your_brain_on_heartbreak
- ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
- ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
- ↑ https://www.allure.com/story/stop-stalking-your-exe-social-media
- ↑ https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2015/nov/20/facebook-stalking-your-ex-online-take-a-break
- ↑ https://www.allure.com/story/stop-stalking-your-exe-social-media
- ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-angry-therapist/202402/why-no-contact-and-boundaries-are-important-with-your-ex
- ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201603/is-your-brain-breakup
- ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
- ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
- ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
- ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
- ↑ Amy Chan. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 1 May 2019.
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/social-media-and-mental-health.htm
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/stalking
About This Article
Avoiding the temptation to stalk your ex on social media can be hard, but by changing some of your account settings and finding ways to distract yourself from stalking, you can do it. Block your ex on your social media accounts so they can’t contact you and you won’t see updates from them. If you think this step is too drastic, unfollow their profile, which will stop their posts from appearing in your news feed. When you feel the need to stalk them, write down all of the reasons why you broke up, which will remind you why they're not right for you. Spend more time hanging out with friends and family members so you can focus on other activities. For example, try taking up a new hobby or activity with a friend, like joining a running club or going to a new happy hour at a local bar. For tips from our Relationship co-author on how to spend time alone without thinking about your ex, keep reading!