How to Overcome the Sense of Deprivation when Not Being Able to Climax During Intercourse (for Women)

PDF download Download Article
PDF download Download Article

Many vulva-owners have difficulty climaxing during sex, but it's easy to feel deprived and alone if you're in that boat. Taking some steps to understand how your body works can help you overcome that sense of deprivation, and even work your way towards achieving climax.

Steps

PDF download Download Article
  1. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/c\/c1\/Know-when-Someone-Is-Not-Ready-to-Have-Sex-Step-9-Version-2.jpg\/v4-460px-Know-when-Someone-Is-Not-Ready-to-Have-Sex-Step-9-Version-2.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/c\/c1\/Know-when-Someone-Is-Not-Ready-to-Have-Sex-Step-9-Version-2.jpg\/aid5833164-v4-728px-Know-when-Someone-Is-Not-Ready-to-Have-Sex-Step-9-Version-2.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/3.0\/\">Creative Commons<\/a><br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Don't think that you are not worth living, don't think that you are less valuable because you are simply made by nature the way that it is not possible for you to climax during penetration only.
  2. 2
    Learn about your anatomy. Learn more about your anatomy and body. Learn about the names of your different body parts, and consider using a mirror to find them on yourself. Many teen health websites can make up for poor, forgotten, or nonexistent sex education.
    Advertisement
  3. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/f\/f1\/Have-Sex-Without-Your-Parents-Knowing-Step-13.jpg\/v4-460px-Have-Sex-Without-Your-Parents-Knowing-Step-13.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/f\/f1\/Have-Sex-Without-Your-Parents-Knowing-Step-13.jpg\/aid5833164-v4-728px-Have-Sex-Without-Your-Parents-Knowing-Step-13.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/3.0\/\">Creative Commons<\/a><br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Not everyone climaxes the same way. Knowing what you like is important, and once you know, you can mention it to your partner. Spend some time getting to know your body and find out what you like. It will help you and your partner in the long run once you know what makes you orgasm.
  4. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/8\/8b\/Make-Sex-Better-Step-3-Version-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Make-Sex-Better-Step-3-Version-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/8\/8b\/Make-Sex-Better-Step-3-Version-3.jpg\/aid5833164-v4-728px-Make-Sex-Better-Step-3-Version-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/3.0\/\">Creative Commons<\/a><br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Explain that you'd like to try a few new techniques, or explain that you've been having trouble climaxing. A loving, trusting partner will navigate this issue with you.
    • Never fake an orgasm. This causes people to feel they know what you like and what supposedly makes you orgasm. Your partner will feel like you don't trust them if they find out.
    • Reader Poll: We asked 193 wikiHow readers how they like to communicate their needs with their partner, and 62% of them agreed that they prefer open and honest communication without judgment. [Take Poll] Remember, your partner wants to help you, so don’t be afraid to tell them what you need!
  5. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/0\/06\/Make-Sex-Better-Step-6-Version-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Make-Sex-Better-Step-6-Version-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/0\/06\/Make-Sex-Better-Step-6-Version-3.jpg\/aid5833164-v4-728px-Make-Sex-Better-Step-6-Version-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/3.0\/\">Creative Commons<\/a><br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Your partner is not a mind-reader, and it helps them to know how you're feeling. Your partner can talk to you as well. Here are some ways to give feedback during intercourse without ruining the mood:
    • "Ooh, deeper."
    • "That feels amazing."
    • "That hurts. Could we stop for a minute?"
    • "Do you think we take a break from intercourse and try XYZ?"
  6. {"smallUrl":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/images\/thumb\/7\/70\/Make-Sex-Better-Step-15-Version-3.jpg\/v4-460px-Make-Sex-Better-Step-15-Version-3.jpg","bigUrl":"\/images\/thumb\/7\/70\/Make-Sex-Better-Step-15-Version-3.jpg\/aid5833164-v4-728px-Make-Sex-Better-Step-15-Version-3.jpg","smallWidth":460,"smallHeight":345,"bigWidth":728,"bigHeight":546,"licensing":"<div class=\"mw-parser-output\"><p>License: <a target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noreferrer noopener\" class=\"external text\" href=\"https:\/\/creativecommons.org\/licenses\/by-nc-sa\/3.0\/\">Creative Commons<\/a><br>\n<\/p><p><br \/>\n<\/p><\/div>"}
    Learning your own body is a process that takes time. Play around with different positions and toys. Communicate with your partner. Try different things and see what works for you.
    7. Advertisement

Expert Q&A

Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Tips

      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Name
      Please provide your name and last initial
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!

      Expert Interview

      Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about sexual activity, check out our in-depth interview with Donna Novak, Psy.D .

      You Might Also Like

      How to
      Make Sex Better
      How to
      Lose Your Virginity Without Pain (Girls)
      Bondage 101: How to Tie Up Your Lover, Explained
      How to
      Have an Orgasm (for Women)
      How to
      Have Phone Sex
      How to
      Know If Sperm Entered Your Body during Vaginal Sex
      How to
      Be Romantic in Bed
      19 Tips to Spice Things up in the Bedroom
      Undress to Impress: Remove Your Clothes (or Your Partner’s Clothes) in the Hottest Way Possible
      How to
      Wow Your Husband in the Bedroom: Tips and Tricks to Try
      22 Subtle Ways to Touch Him to Show Affection (or to Turn Him On)
      How to
      Have Sex During Your Period
      Why Do Men Act Different After Sex? (Plus, What to Do About It)
      18 Ways to Increase Physical Intimacy in a Relationship
      Advertisement

      About This Article

      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 14,579 times.

      Did this article help you?

      Advertisement