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Learn how to pack to give yourself a realistic bulge
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Packing is an important part of gender affirmation for many trans and gender-nonconforming folks. But there are many ways to pack, from simple DIY methods to full-on prosthetic penises that look incredibly realistic—whether your pants are on or off. This guide breaks down the basics of packing for transmen, transmasculine, and gender-nonconforming people. We’ll explain how to choose a packer, where to buy one, and how to wear one comfortably in all kinds of situations. Keep reading to learn how to pack for the gender presentation that’s true to who you are.
Things You Should Know
- Make a DIY packer with rolled socks, or buy a soft packer to give yourself a more realistic bulge. Use a “stand-and-pee” soft packer to urinate standing up.
- Use a hard packer and harness for penetrative sex. Or buy a single “3-in-1” packer that allows you to pack, urinate standing up, and have penetrative sex.
- Adjust your packer as you wear it to stay comfortable. Wash your packer after every use and store it in a rigid box to prevent it from getting damaged.
Steps
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Create a DIY packer using rolled-up socks. Position 1-3 rolled socks at the center of your crotch, then move them up or down to create the bulge you want. Wear tight briefs or boxer briefs to hold the socks in place. Use a safety pin to pin them to the center of your underwear and keep them from moving around. [1] X Research source
- Experiment with bulge size by choosing different-sized socks. For example, crew socks are bigger than ankle socks, so they'll likely create a bigger bulge.
- Use packing underwear to hold your DIY bulge in place. These are specifically designed for packing and come in all sizes and styles.
- DIY packers are very affordable, making them perfect for beginners and folks on a budget. However they may not work well in shorts, bathing suits, or clothes made from thin fabric.
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Wear a soft packer inside tight underwear or a jockstrap. A soft packer looks and feels like a flaccid penis and scrotum, giving you a very realistic bulge. It also helps with bottom dysphoria by allowing you to look down and see a penis in your underwear. [2] X Research source Soft packers come in many sizes and skin tones and work well in all kinds of clothing. You can buy them online:
- Ur basics offers a wide selection of soft packers ranging from $7-$58 (plus shipping).
- FTM Essentials has soft packers ranging from $16-$100 (plus shipping). They ship items in discreet packaging so that no one can tell what’s inside.
- The Emisil flaccid series packers cost between $300-600 (free shipping). These ultra-realistic packers come in many sizes and skin colors, and include options for pubic hair and circumcised or uncircumcised penises. [3] X Research source
- If you wear a jockstrap, you can wear loose-fitting boxers without worrying your packer will move out of place.
EXPERT TIPCommunity Transgender ExpertShahpar Mirza is a Community Transgender Expert who began his transition from female-to-male (FTM) starting in 2016. He has had hormone replacement therapy since 2017 and underwent a double mastectomy (top surgery) in April 2018. Through experiences such as working for the Queer Student Resources Center at Stanford University, he is passionate about spreading more awareness about the transgender community and clarifying common misconceptions people may have. He received his BS in Product Design from Stanford University in 2019.Expert Trick: Use packer pouches to safely pin your packer to your underwear. This will help keep the packer in place so it won't fall out of your pants or shorts. Boxer briefs will hold your packer in place more securely than regular boxers.
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Use a stand-to-pee (STP) packer to urinate standing up. STPs allow you to use urinals and urinate in toilets in gendered bathrooms without having to sit down. They’re also great for folks who experience bottom dysphoria when using the restroom. You can buy STPs from online trans-affirming retailers: [4] X Research source
- Transguy Supply offers a variety of STPs of different sizes, colors, and styles. Prices range from $15-$106 (plus shipping).
- If you don’t want to buy a separate STP packer, you can still urinate standing up using a pStyle .
Tip: Standing up to pee is entirely optional. STPs give you that option—but if you prefer to pee sitting down, do so and don’t feel ashamed. You’re still welcome to use the men's or boy’s bathroom.
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Use a swimmer's jockstrap to pack under swimwear. A swimmer’s jockstrap is designed to be worn under a swimsuit or wetsuit. It’s made of water-resistant fabric, just like a swimsuit, and is designed to blend into swim trunks. This can help alleviate dysphoria caused during swimming since your bulge will be visible when your bathing suit sticks to you. [5] X Research source
- If you're going swimming, opt for a packer made from a non-absorbent material like silicone.
- If you’re using socks for a DIY packer, place them in a tight zip-up bag to keep them dry.
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Check your bulge in a mirror to make sure you like how it looks. Look at yourself face-on, from the size, and from the back. Then sit down in a chair or on the floor to see how it looks while you’re sitting. Move the packer up, down, left, or right until you find a position you like. [6] X Research source
- It may take several adjustments to get the bulge you want.
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Practice sitting, walking, and standing so your bulge feels comfortable. Your packer may feel uncomfortable when you first start wearing it. Give yourself time to get used to it. Start by wearing your packer for a short period of time, then gradually lengthen how long you wear it. [7] X Research source
- Wear it around your home first until you get used to wearing it, walking with it, and so on. Then wear it in public, if you want to.
- Remember that your gender identity is valid with or without a packer. You have a right to pack every day, occasionally, or never. It’s your decision.
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Choose a regular hard packer for a realistic bulge. Hard packers, a.k.a. “pack-and-plays,” are designed for penetrative sex. A regular hard packer is a strap-on dildo that resembles a real erect penis, complete with a scrotum. Some hard packers are extremely realistic and come in different sizes, skin colors, and with or without foreskin. [8] X Research source
- Regular hard packers aren’t ideal for daily use since they’re shaped like an erect penis. Their stiffness can make them uncomfortable and impractical to wear with clothes on.
- While you can choose any hard packer you want, it’s best to go with something close to the average penis size, 5 to 6.5 inches (13 to 17 cm). [9] X Research source
- The Emisil Erect Series costs $370-900 (free shipping). They’re quite expensive, but also super-realistic. They come in many sizes, skin colors, pubic hair colors (optional), and even in circumcised and uncircumcised varieties. [10] X Research source
Tip: If you’re using your hard packer with a partner, you can ask them what size they prefer.
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Opt for a 3-in-1 packer to use for packing, urinating, and sex. A 3-in-1 is a multipurpose packer that allows you to soft pack, urinate standing up, and insert a special rod to make it erect, just like a dildo. 3-in-1s are great for packing when you plan to have sex later. “4-in-1s” and “5-in-1s” are specialized 3-in-1s with extra features to stimulate the wearer’s clitoris during sex and masturbation.One drawback is that they can be quite expensive. [11] X Research source
- urBasics sells “5-in-1” packers for $103-113 that provide extra stimulation for the wearer, in addition to allowing urination, penetration, and regular soft packing.
- Emile sells 3-in-1 packers for $370-$450 (free shipping). They’re made to be almost indistinguishable from a biological penis.
- FTM Shopping specializes exclusively in 3-in-1 packers . They cost $350-580 (free shipping) and can be customized to your specifications. Apart from the non-inclusive branding (not all AFAB trans folks identify as male, after all), these 3-in-1 packers are top-of-the-line. They look and feel like a real penis, and function as well as one.
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Use a harness to wear a hard packer. The harness will keep the dildo in place during penetrative sex. Once you have the harness on, tighten or loosen the straps as necessary for a comfortable fit. [12] X Research source
- Purchase a harness online if you don’t have one for your dildo. Some websites may offer bundles allowing you to purchase a dildo and harness together.
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Wear your briefs or boxers over the harness and dildo. You can wear any type of underwear you like. Additionally, you can wear your normal clothes over your harness and dildo. [13] X Research source
- If you’re having a date night at home, you might enjoy showing off your erection through your pants.
- If you want to wear your dildo in public, try different positions for hiding your dildo to figure out which one is more comfortable for you. For example, your dildo may be less visible if you push it back between your legs or position it so it’s down against your thigh.
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Adjust your packer as you wear it to keep yourself comfortable. It’s normal for your packer to move around in your underwear. Feel free to reposition your packer while you’re out and about if you want to. Just as cis-men adjust their penises, you should adjust your own bulge as needed. [14] X Research source
- You can also excuse yourself to the restroom if you prefer to adjust your packer in private. It’s your choice.
Tip: When adjusting your packer, you don’t need to explain what you’re doing to anyone. Your comfort is no one else’s business.
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Wash your packer after every use. Wash socks used in DIY packers with your regular laundry, Wash realistic soft packers and hard packers with soap and water, or follow the instructions provided by the manufacturer. Silicone packers can usually be sanitized in boiling water or thrown in the dishwasher, but double-check the cleaning instructions before you do so, just to be safe.
- Avoid leaving your packer unwashed for more than a day or two. Otherwise, it could get a bit smelly, like any used clothing item. [15] X Research source
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Store your packer on a shelf or in a rigid box. Use a shoebox or similar box to keep the packer from getting crushed if something falls on it. Avoid stuffing it in a drawer or closet to prevent it from getting bent, dented, or misshapen. [16] X Research source
- If the manufacturer provides a box for storage, keep your packer in that box when you’re not wearing or cleaning it.
Tips
- Read online reviews before buying a particular packer. Check for comments on comfort, quality, whether skin tones match as advertised, and advice for cleaning the packer.Thanks
- Watch how cisgender men stand, sit, and walk to see how their bulge looks. This can help you create a similar-sized bulge that looks natural for your body.Thanks
- Wearing men’s pants may be more comfortable while you’re packing, as women’s pants aren’t designed to accommodate a penis.Thanks
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Warnings
- Put your packer in your suitcase while you’re going through security to avoid it coming up on screeners.Thanks
- Soft packing too tightly, or hard packing with a dildo that's too large, may cause bruising.Thanks
- Your packer may show up on airport security screeners. Bring a note from your psychologist or physician explaining that the packer is part of your gender-affirming care.Thanks
References
- ↑ https://youtu.be/YWYwQ9RJREo?t=65
- ↑ https://youtu.be/YWYwQ9RJREo?t=100
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a57549/everything-youve-ever-wanted-to-know-about-packing/
- ↑ https://fenwayhealth.org/wp-content/uploads/Fenway-Health-Packing-Guide.pdf
- ↑ https://youtu.be/14HTtjGozvc?t=73
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a57549/everything-youve-ever-wanted-to-know-about-packing/
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a57549/everything-youve-ever-wanted-to-know-about-packing/
- ↑ https://fenwayhealth.org/wp-content/uploads/Fenway-Health-Packing-Guide.pdf
- ↑ https://kinseyinstitute.org/research/publications/penis-size-faq-bibliography.php
- ↑ https://youtu.be/0mBeATu6sMM?t=135
- ↑ https://fenwayhealth.org/wp-content/uploads/Fenway-Health-Packing-Guide.pdf
- ↑ https://fenwayhealth.org/wp-content/uploads/Fenway-Health-Packing-Guide.pdf
- ↑ https://fenwayhealth.org/wp-content/uploads/Fenway-Health-Packing-Guide.pdf
- ↑ https://youtu.be/ybZmzzobMGM?t=243
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a57549/everything-youve-ever-wanted-to-know-about-packing/
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a57549/everything-youve-ever-wanted-to-know-about-packing/
About This Article
Article Summary
X
To soft pack if you’re a transgender man, roll up some socks to create the bulge you want. Then, safety pin them to a pair of tight briefs or boxers to hold them in place. You could also buy a soft packer device, and wear it with a jock strap or tight underwear. If you want to be able to stand up when you go to the bathroom, consider wearing an STP device, which has a cup on one end so you can urinate through it. When you want to pack hard, select a dildo and attach it to a harness so you can wear it. Once you’ve got the harness on, put on your boxers or briefs over the top. Whatever packing method you choose, remember to regularly adjust your bulge if it gets uncomfortable when you’re out and about, since it’s normal for it to move around in your underwear. For tips on how to pack when you’re going swimming, keep reading!
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Reader Success Stories
- "I've been packing for like a year but I never knew where to put my prosthetic penis while wearing it. This article helped me place it in a way that isn't uncomfortable or noticeably large, so thanks! (The tip under the waistband works best for me.)" ..." more
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"I've been packing for like a year but I never knew where to put my prosthetic penis while wearing it. This article helped me place it in a way that isn't uncomfortable or noticeably large, so thanks! (The tip under the waistband works best for me.)"
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"It helped me a lot because I thought you had to get surgery to change your body or how you look, but the article helped me by showing that you don't have to take surgery to change your appearance."
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"I found this very helpfull because I didn't know how to pack...(btw I'm genderfluid!) I'm dealing with body dysphoria. It's awesome how this regaing my confidence!!"
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"This works perfectly. It looks realistic too! The only thing I recommend is no wool or work socks! They are very irritating."
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"I love how I'm able to feel like myself when I use the soft method, I'm just happy all this is here for me."
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