How to Prepare for a Second Child

If you are expecting a second child, prepare your new arrival early to make sure the experience is as joyful as possible. Make things easier on your firstborn by gently telling them about the baby and by getting their help with preparations for their new brother or sister. Deal with financial worries head-on by budgeting for a family of four, and make decisions about work and housing before the new baby comes. Keep yourself healthy during pregnancy by taking care of yourself both mentally and physically.

Method 1
Method 1 of 4:

Preparing Your Firstborn for the Baby’s Arrival

  1. Set a moment aside to tell your first child that you are having another baby. Explain that it is going to be a wonderful time and that your child will have a sibling to play with or spend time with. Tell your child that your second baby will be so lucky to have a big brother or sister. You want to instill a sense of excitement, responsibility, and anticipation in your first child.
    • For instance, say something like, "In a few months you are going to have a new sister or brother to play with! They are going to look up to you because you're going to be their big brother, and you're going to teach them lots of things."
    • Also, make sure to let your child know that the baby won’t be able to do much with them in the first few months, but they will have lots of good times later on.
  2. Include your firstborn in the process of preparing for your second baby by getting their help with the nursery. Contributing to the setup of the nursery will let your child feel pride rather than jealousy over the baby’s quarters. Have your child help by: [1]
    • Asking for their input about color and decorations in the room (e.g. help choosing a mobile)
    • Having them paint or draw a picture that you will frame and hang in the room
    • Getting them to complete simple tasks like laying a blanket in the baby’s crib, setting up stuffed animals, or testing the mobile
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  3. To get them comfortable with the idea of being a big sibling, give your eldest child a “big brother” or “big sister” gift to celebrate their new role. The gift should be something that marks their more grown-up position in the family, but also something that they will be excited to receive (e.g. a bicycle). Time giving the gift as closely as possible to the arrival of the baby to create a positive association. [2]
  4. If you intend to have grandparents, other family members, friends, or babysitters help care for your firstborn after the birth of the second, allow for some bonding time beforehand. Invite them over for supper or along for other fun activities (e.g. visiting a zoo) to let your child feel more familiar with them. Set up brief excursions that you don’t attend. This will allow your child to get comfortable with being away from you, and with spending time with their future babysitters. [3]
    • For instance, have a prospective babysitter take your child out on a short trip for ice cream.
  5. To help your child understand what will be happening in the family, read books or stories geared towards their age group about becoming a big sibling. Making time to read with your child will both prepare them for their new role, and encourage bonding time with them. Visit your local library or book store to find books that your child will enjoy. [4]
  6. If your older child is young enough to still be sleeping in a crib, or co-sleeping with you, gradually move them to their own bed and room at least a few months before the new baby comes. Get your child excited about the new sleep space by letting them chose their own sheets and pillows. If your child has trouble sleeping without you, spend the night in their room for a few weeks to let them get used to the environment. [5]
    • If your child is too small for their own bed, try moving them to a small cot or Moses basket until they get a bit bigger.
  7. While the arrival of a new baby may disrupt things, it is important to set up a schedule for your older child that will remain consistent. This schedule should include meals, snacks, baths, naps, and bedtime. Make sure that any babysitters or other caretakers know this routine and stick to it as much as possible. [6]
    • To make the schedule easy to follow, write it out in point form or set reminder alerts on your smartphone.
    • Be sure that all family members and caretakers follow the schedule as well.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 4:

Budgeting for Two Kids

  1. Work out the current cost (on a monthly or yearly basis) of caring for your family of three by breaking down how much is spent on food, shelter, clothing, amenities, and medical concerns. Next, add the estimated cost of a new baby, which will likely include immediate costs like diapers or formula. Take note of any costs that will come up as your children grow (e.g. education) and aim to build a reserve of funds for these expenditures. [7]
    • Use a computer spreadsheet to tally your costs in an easy, organized way.
    • Disposable diapers and formula can cost as much as $200 a month. To save money, consider using cloth diapers and breastfeeding your child for as long as possible.
    • The cost of raising two children will ultimately depend on what age your older child is, the childcare services you will need, your household income, and where you live.
  2. If you are employed, speak to a human resource representative at work about how much parental leave you are entitled to and how much you wish to work when you return to your job. Have a discussion with your spouse about who will be the children’s primary caregiver, whose income will best support the family, and if you will both continue to work. If you are a single parent, factor in the cost of child care and consider whether you want to work full-time or part-time. [8]
  3. The addition of another child to your family might make your current home seem small or cramped. If your home only has one extra bedroom that is too small to accommodate both kids, look into larger places that won’t break your budget. It will be easier moving before the new baby comes than after, with two children. [9]
    • Search local ads or online for a new house, condo, or apartment that will suit your family.
    • A real estate agent may be very helpful to sell your home and find a new one, particularly while you are distracted with parenting duties.
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Method 3
Method 3 of 4:

Taking Care of Yourself

  1. If you are preparing to have a second child, schedule regular doctor appointments to monitor your health. Your first pregnancy, as well as the demands of motherhood, may have drained you of strength and nutrients required for a successful second pregnancy. Your physician can prescribe medication or supplements, if needed, or recommend dietary changes to boost your health. [10]
    • Note that your second pregnancy will not necessarily be the same as your first. Your doctor should still screen for pregnancy-related illnesses (such as gestational diabetes), even if you did not experience them during your first pregnancy.
  2. Look for parental support groups in your area where you can meet and talk with other parents in similar situations. Parents with two or more children may be able to give you advice and insight about the process of bringing home a second child and adjusting to the new addition to the family. Look for online group listing or ask about support groups at your local community center, churches, daycares, or schools. [11]
  3. After giving birth, many mothers experience the “baby blues," which are common and generally last a couple of weeks. Others suffer from postpartum depression, which is a serious and difficult condition that should be treated by a doctor. If you suffered from postpartum depression after the birth of your first baby, discuss your concerns and options with your doctor before delivering your second child. [12]
    • Addressing your emotional health preventively will help you stay conscious of it once your second child comes.
  4. While caring for a child it can be difficult to find the time to eat nutritiously. Aim to eat foods high in protein, dairy, fruit, vegetables, and whole grains for optimum energy. To make this easier, make healthy meals ahead of time that you can reheat quickly on the go, or buy pre-cut fruit and vegetables for simple snacks that you can share with your child. To get the nutrients that you need, opt for foods like:
    • Lean red meat
    • Yogurt
    • Whole grain bread
    • Cheese
    • Apples
    • Carrots
  5. Taking prenatal vitamins is an important way to boost your health while you are pregnant, but caring for a child can often distract from such things. Set a reminder alarm on your phone to make sure you don’t forget to take your vitamins every day. You can also put your vitamins into a pre-marked pill box to keep track of what you took on each day of the week. [13]
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Method 4
Method 4 of 4:

Reusing Baby Items

  1. If you intend to reuse your firstborn’s baby clothes and sheets, wash them thoroughly, especially if they have been sitting in storage for a while. It is not necessary to use a detergent specified for babies, which can be purchased if your newborn demonstrates any signs of skin irritation. Use a liquid detergent as opposed to a powder one to avoid residue that might irritate your baby’s skin. [14]
  2. To sterilize pacifiers and bottles, fill a pot with water, add the items, and bring the water to a boil. Allow it to boil for ten minutes, then let it cool. Remove the items and place them on clean paper towels to air dry. [15]
    • If any pacifiers or bottles appear cracked or stained after washing them, throw them out.
  3. While it might be tempting to reuse all of your firstborn's baby toys, it is best to buy new ones to prevent the spread of bacteria. Stuffed animals, which can usually only be spot-cleaned, may carry germs that could be harmful to your baby. Bath toys may have developed mold or mildew over time and should be replaced. [16]
    • Chew toys can be reused, but should first be sterilized along with the bottles and pacifiers.
  4. If you are going to reuse the baby monitor that you purchased for your first child, check the gadget to make sure it is still functional. Change the batteries if necessary, and have replacement batteries on hand for a quick switch the next time they run out. If the baby monitor doesn’t work and it is still under warranty, call the company to have it replaced. [17]
  5. While your first baby's crib is likely still in good enough condition to use for your second child, it is best to purchase a new crib mattress. Wear and tear can reduce the quality of the mattress and hinder the comfort of your new baby. Opt for an organic mattress, as the synthetic material and off-gasses of non-organic models may be harmful for your baby. [18]
  6. Car seats have a six-year expiry date and should not be used past that point. If you wish to reuse your firstborn's car seat, check the date on the label and make sure that it is still safe to use. If not, replace it with a new car seat to make sure that it passes the minimum safety requirements established by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. [19]
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      References

      1. ↑ http://www.today.com/parents/things-do-your-first-child-having-second-baby-I527420
      2. ↑ http://www.today.com/parents/things-do-your-first-child-having-second-baby-I527420
      3. ↑ http://www.today.com/parents/things-do-your-first-child-having-second-baby-I527420
      4. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/second-child.html#
      5. ↑ https://www.babycenter.in/a558565/moving-your-baby-out-of-the-family-bed-and-into-his-own-cot
      6. ↑ https://www.babycenter.in/a558565/moving-your-baby-out-of-the-family-bed-and-into-his-own-cot
      7. ↑ https://www.babycenter.com/top-baby-costs
      8. ↑ https://www.moneysmart.gov.au/life-events-and-you/life-events/having-a-baby
      9. ↑ https://www.mnn.com/money/personal-finance/blogs/it-costs-how-much-raise-child
      1. ↑ https://www.whattoexpect.com/preconception/second-baby-prep.aspx
      2. ↑ http://www.mom365.com/baby/moms-health/how-to-beat-the-baby-blues/
      3. ↑ http://kidshealth.org/en/parents/second-child.html#
      4. ↑ http://www.parents.com/pregnancy/my-life/preparing-for-baby/having-baby-number-two/?slideId=31352
      5. ↑ https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/diapers-clothing/Pages/Cleaning-Baby-Clothes.aspx
      6. ↑ http://www.parents.com/advice/babies/safety/how-should-i-clean-bottles-and-pacifiers/
      7. ↑ https://www.policygenius.com/blog/new-parents-new-used-hand-me-down-items/
      8. ↑ http://www.lifewithmylittles.com/17-things-to-do-before-your-second-baby-html/
      9. ↑ https://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/news/20190710/is-your-mattress-releasing-toxins-while-you-sleep
      10. ↑ https://www.policygenius.com/blog/new-parents-new-used-hand-me-down-items/

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