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Personal safety is very important for people of all ages. In order to stay safe, you will need to learn how to defend yourself from shady people, including sexual predators. This article will teach you how to recognize a sexual predator and how to ask for help if you meet one.
Steps
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Know what a sexual predator is. A sexual predator is a person who harms other people in a sexual way. For example, they may touch others inappropriately or force them to watch inappropriate videos. They will often lie and manipulate you to get what they want, which is sex. [1] X Research source
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Understand that anyone could be a sexual predator. People of any race, gender, religion, or class can be a sexual predator. You can't tell if someone is a sexual predator based on their looks or beliefs. People you know, like family friends or relatives could be sexual predators. You will have to watch their behavior to find out.
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In Person
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Notice if the person befriends your caretakers very quickly. Predators want to get in contact with their victims very quickly, so they will establish good relations with the parents or relatives of the child first. They will eventually trust them and allow their child to spend time with them.
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Notice if the person wants to spend a lot of alone time with you. Normally, a good friend or relative will respect your personal space and time, and they are willing to spend time with you alongside other people. However, if the adult insists on being alone with you frequently, they may be a predator.
- They want to isolate you in order to harm you where no one is watching.
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Listen to what the person likes about you. Adults usually compliment kids based on their behavior. They may give awards if you get good grades or win competitions. Sometimes, parents or relatives may comment on how "pretty" or "well-dressed" you are. But, if the person only focuses on your appearance, they may be a predator.
- The person may say suspicious or inappropriate things about your appearance, such as what you look like in revealing clothing.
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Pay attention to if they spoil you. After only a few times of meeting the person, they may shower you with gifts and compliment you on everything. They may never say no to your requests; even if this sounds great, it is a warning sign. This is very suspicious, and it may mean that they are disguising their predatory behavior by being super nice to you. [2] X Research source
- You will gain trust in the person, which will allow them to harm you badly.
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Notice if they touch you inappropriately. People need to ask permission to touch you because it is polite and establishes boundaries. Sometimes, a person might forget to ask you, so they pat you on the back or bump into your arm by accident. These are accidents, so you don't need to worry too much. However, if the person touches you constantly or they touch you only in private areas (the places covered by your underwear), that person is a sexual predator.
- The person may find excuses for their behavior. They may say that they want to massage your back to loosen sore muscles or take you swimming at their pool in order to touch you inappropriately.
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Realize when they try to initiate sex. The person may tell you to undress, and they may touch you inappropriately (with their body or objects) while you are vulnerable. Adults having sex with minors is illegal worldwide, and having sex without the consent of both people is also illegal. This is called rape, and people suffer physical and psychological effects after it happens. This is a major red flag, and you need to tell someone in order to stop the predator. [3] X Research source
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Notice if they take inappropriate photos and videos of you. If they snap photos or record videos if you naked or with skimpy clothing, this is a red flag. Making and distributing child porn is illegal, so you should immediately tell a trusted adult if this happens. [4] X Research source
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Online
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Think about what you and the person talk about. Does the person actively listen to you and talk to you about shared interests, or do they want you to fulfill something they want? If the person only talks about sexual topics, there is a chance that they are a predator.
- Think about how they describe you. Do they compliment your appearance all the time? If so, they may be a predator.
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Look out for suspicious texts or dialogue. The person may shower you with gifts and compliments in order to get what they want. They may tell you to do inappropriate things, such as send revealing/nude photos to them, or to meet up at their place. This is not okay, and you should record this evidence in order to stop this from continuing.
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Notice if they send inappropriate photos or videos to you. If they regularly send skimpy/nude photos to you or porn videos, this is a sign that they are a predator.
- Another case is if they undress during video calls or tell you to undress. You need to report this to the authorities and a trusted adult if this happens to you.
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Stand up for yourself. If a person touches you inappropriately, put a stop to their behavior by being assertive. Being assertive means you are able to voice your opinions without being uncaring of others' feelings.
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Stay away from people who harass you. Stay far away from people who have harassed you in the past to minimize the chance they harass you again. If you meet them at a public place, stay away from them. If they are a teacher at your school, it's best to report them to the school's administration.
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Protect yourself if the predator harasses you. If the person is endangering your safety, do the best you can to escape. Scream to get others' attention. Bite, kick, punch, and do whatever you can to escape the predator's grip. Run to a trusted adult (such as a parent, teacher, etc.) for help.
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Do not reveal your actual name, where you live, the school you go to, and your age on the internet. These are basic safety rules you should follow. Keeping your personal information secret makes it tricky for criminals or predators to harm you.
- Instead, pick a random username that doesn't include this information. If you can, don't provide your age/school on websites.
- Don't post personal photos on social media if you are a child. If you are a teenager, limit who can see your posts to only best friends and family.
- Avoid posting pictures of yourself in your school uniform, especially with your tie or logo visible. Strangers online can find out the school you go to this way.
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Be careful when interacting with strangers on the internet. [7] X Research source Everyone on social media websites (except verified famous people) is hiding their true identity under a username. You don't know if their posts reflect their true character or personality, so be careful when talking to them. Don't reveal any personal information and take some time to know them until you befriend them.
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Do not meet strangers on the internet yourself. [8] X Research source Unless you have a trusted adult with you (and you have their permission), do not meet strangers you meet on the internet. Some people on the internet aren't trustworthy, so they may be lying to you about their identity.
- Sometimes, adults pretend to be children or teenagers on social media in order to get into a close relationship with them. These people are also predators.
- If you do meet a stranger online always do it in a public place.
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Be very careful of you who date on the internet. If you are a teenager, you may be interested in online dating. To stay extra safe, check if the person is a catfish (a person who fakes their identity) or if they have other shady history by checking their profile. Additionally, if they frequently ask to borrow money from you, they may be a scammer. [9] X Trustworthy Source Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network Largest anti-sexual assault organization in the US providing support and advocacy for survivors Go to source
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Record evidence of the predator. Record any evidence of the person in order for trusted adults to believe you. Any evidence is fine; audio recordings, screenshots of messages, emails, or letters will work.
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Tell a trusted adult if you suspect something is wrong. Even if it's a misunderstanding, it's best to report any suspicious behavior to an adult. This will confirm whether or not the person you are befriending has bad intentions. You should also tell an adult if someone around you is showing signs of being a predator.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow can I move on from sexual abuse?Denise Brady is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based in Long Beach, CA. With 15 years of experience, she specializes in helping people through generational trauma and uses Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy to assist clients in reprocessing traumatic experiences and memories. Denise is the owner of 'In the Meantime Breathe Family Counseling Services' and offers services in both California and Texas, including virtual and in-person therapy sessions. She also offers workshops, including ‘Embracing Empathy and Validation’ and ‘Preventing Parent Burnout’. Denise has previous experience working with the Department of Children Family Services (DCFS) and her practice is trusted and verified by Therapy for Black Girls and Psychology Today. She received her Masters in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University in Los Angeles.Moving on from sexual abuse is a deeply personal process, and healing looks different for everyone. It's important to understand that trauma can show up in ways you may not immediately recognize—like how you make decisions, how you engage with your friends, or how you show up in relationships. Healing and moving on isn’t about forgetting the past but learning how to live with it in a way that can empower you. Remember that healing isn’t linear. Some days may feel lighter, while other days could feel overwhelming, and that’s completely normal. There’s no set timeline, and it’s crucial not to compare your progress to others because what works for someone else might not work for you, and that's okay too. Your experience is unique, and your path forward will reflect that. Be patient with yourself and recognize that healing requires time and self-compassion. It’s okay to ask for help along the way, whether from a therapist, support groups, or your loved ones. Remember that you don’t have to carry the burden alone. Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting or pretending it never happened—it means learning how to reclaim your life, step by step, in a way that feels right for you.
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QuestionMy friend sounds like a predator, because he sends X-rated pictures every day. He once said "oil up" to me and my homeboys. What do I do?Community AnswerCall the police. Tell them what you know. They'll deal with it.
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References
- ↑ https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/signs-sexual-predator
- ↑ https://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/signs-sexual-predator
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/hebephilia
- ↑ https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/grooming/
- ↑ https://helpingsurvivors.org/workplace-sexual-harassment/inappropriate-touching/#:~:text=Ask%20the%20Person%20To%20Stop,you%20or%20shaking%20your%20hand .
- ↑ https://www.missingkids.org/content/dam/kidsmartz/pdfs/Grades_3_5_Uncomfortable_Touch_EN.pdf
- ↑ https://us.norton.com/blog/kids-safety/stop-stressing-10-internet-safety-rules-to-help-keep-your-family-safe-online
- ↑ https://www.nypl.org/help/about-nypl/legal-notices/internet-safety-tips
- ↑ https://rainn.org/articles/tips-safer-online-dating-and-dating-app-use
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