Q&A for How to Act Angry Over Text

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What can help you express your emotions effectively?

Ashley Smith, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Ashley Smith is a licensed psychologist, co-founder of Peak Mind: The Center for Psychological Strength, speaker, and author of The Way I See It: A Psychologist’s Guide to a Happier Life. She is a sought-after anxiety expert and outspoken advocate dedicated to changing the way we approach mental health and wellbeing. Dr. Ashley is also open about learning to thrive with a rare visual impairment. The combination of her professional expertise and personal experiences put her in a unique position to educate and inspire. She is passionate about helping others live bold, happy lives while performing at their peak.

Ashley Smith, PhD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

I think the first step is to be able to identify your emotions. People often say “I feel good” or “I feel bad,” but 'good' and 'bad' are not feelings. Those are judgments. Be more precise in your language. Do a search for the term ‘feelings wheel’ and you will find images of wheels with different kinds of feelings. This can be really useful for finding a more precise word.

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Question

How can you let someone know how you feel?

Ashley Smith, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Ashley Smith is a licensed psychologist, co-founder of Peak Mind: The Center for Psychological Strength, speaker, and author of The Way I See It: A Psychologist’s Guide to a Happier Life. She is a sought-after anxiety expert and outspoken advocate dedicated to changing the way we approach mental health and wellbeing. Dr. Ashley is also open about learning to thrive with a rare visual impairment. The combination of her professional expertise and personal experiences put her in a unique position to educate and inspire. She is passionate about helping others live bold, happy lives while performing at their peak.

Ashley Smith, PhD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

First, get clear on what you feel. Boil it down to one word. Then say, for example, “I feel hurt when you ____.” That is probably the most effective way to communicate your feelings to someone if you're trying to get them to change or the situation involves them.

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Question

What if I want to show I'm mad, but not exactly being mean? Like they "think" I'm mad?

Manasvi Nagendra

Community Answer

On text messages with your friends, be more formal. Say "Ok thank you" rather than "Thanks, tks, thnx or thx" - avoid sending them any smiling emojis and whenever you have a valid reason, send them an annoyed face - but a discreet one. Use full stops at the end to give them the impression you do not want to talk to them or you are eager to end the conversation.

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Question

How do I act subtly angry?

Tessa Metzger

Community Answer

Drop hints, but not in a passive aggressive way, because that can make someone really annoyed. Talk in short messages, and don't really give them any long and thought out answers. But don't bluntly state that you're angry with them.

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