Q&A for How to Be Less Awkward

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  • Question
    How can I be comfortable with socializing?
    Sheila A. Anderson
    Certified Image Consultant & International Branding Icon
    Sheila A. Anderson is a Certified Image Consultant, International Branding Icon, and the Founder of Image Power Play, an impression management and personal branding company. With over three decades of experience, she specializes in empowering corporate professionals to raise their personal image to meet the value of their brand. Sheila is a Certified Image Consultant with The Image Resource Network and a Certified Universal Style Consultant with The Universal Style International. Sheila is a member of the C-Suite Network Advisors and the author of the book, I.C.U., The Comprehensive Guide to Breathing Life Back Into Your Personal Brand.
    Certified Image Consultant & International Branding Icon
    Expert Answer
    Find a friend who's willing to role play different social situations with you. This will help you feel comfortable when you're in the real world!
  • Question
    How can I look more friendly?
    Sheila A. Anderson
    Certified Image Consultant & International Branding Icon
    Sheila A. Anderson is a Certified Image Consultant, International Branding Icon, and the Founder of Image Power Play, an impression management and personal branding company. With over three decades of experience, she specializes in empowering corporate professionals to raise their personal image to meet the value of their brand. Sheila is a Certified Image Consultant with The Image Resource Network and a Certified Universal Style Consultant with The Universal Style International. Sheila is a member of the C-Suite Network Advisors and the author of the book, I.C.U., The Comprehensive Guide to Breathing Life Back Into Your Personal Brand.
    Certified Image Consultant & International Branding Icon
    Expert Answer
    Keep your body language open and inviting! Be sure to make eye contact, rest your arms at your sides, keep your shoulders back, and offer a soft smile.
  • Question
    How do I get better at small talk?
    Sheila A. Anderson
    Certified Image Consultant & International Branding Icon
    Sheila A. Anderson is a Certified Image Consultant, International Branding Icon, and the Founder of Image Power Play, an impression management and personal branding company. With over three decades of experience, she specializes in empowering corporate professionals to raise their personal image to meet the value of their brand. Sheila is a Certified Image Consultant with The Image Resource Network and a Certified Universal Style Consultant with The Universal Style International. Sheila is a member of the C-Suite Network Advisors and the author of the book, I.C.U., The Comprehensive Guide to Breathing Life Back Into Your Personal Brand.
    Certified Image Consultant & International Branding Icon
    Expert Answer
    Prepare in advance a few sentences about who you are, what you do for a living, and what you're most passionate about in life. Being able to share this info efficiently will immediately raise your self-esteem and confidence while also giving off a great first impression to others.
  • Question
    How do I know when to leave if I am out with someone? I feel awkward about being the one to suggest it's time to leave.
    Community Answer
    Leave when you feel like you need to, when it feels like the right moment. Always mention that you're needing to go home, get to an appointment, return to your studies, or whatever, as a segue into saying goodbye to them. If you're intimate, a kiss before you go is nice and for anyone, a hug or a handshake can be a nice way to end the encounter. Then leave promptly, as dragging it out creates awkwardness.
  • Question
    What do I talk about to fill the awkward silences while hanging out with my boyfriend?
    Community Answer
    Sometimes just mentioning the awkward silence will break it and make you both laugh. Mention something going on at the moment, or something interesting in the place you are. If you go to the same school, talking about teachers you both dislike, something unfair, or how bad the school lunches are, are usually good conversation starters. Remember, he probably feels uncomfortable with the silence too and will be willing to talk about almost anything you bring up.
  • Question
    How can I be less awkward around my boyfriend?
    Community Answer
    Focus on just talking and hanging out, don't put so much thought into it. He probably won't care that your a little awkward sometimes, he's undoubtedly going to feel that way himself sometimes.
  • Question
    Is it okay to scream out loud while I'm taking a test?
    Community Answer
    No. You will likely get in trouble for this and you won't be able to finish the test. Try to take slow, deep breaths. Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold it for 7 seconds, then breathe out for 8 seconds. Do it a few times. It might also help to ask the teacher if you can go to the restroom to calm down and splash some water on your face.
  • Question
    I don't really talk to the person that I like, and every time that we do have a conversation, I always make things awkward. How can I talk to him without stumbling over my words?
    Community Answer
    People love a good listener. If you two are conversing, look at him while he speaks, and smile/pay attention. People love to be heard, and a good listener is just as valuable, if not more valuable, than a "good talker." Show the person that you are interested in them and what they are saying. Ask questions. You don't have to talk a whole lot.
  • Question
    How can I be less awkward in simple situations like ordering food?
    Community Answer
    Be confident and make it seem like you have nothing to be scared of. It is just ordering food and if the waiter is snooty, ignore the fake intelligence, they're just bringing you food on a plate. And if you mess up, take it with dignity and laugh it off -- "Oh how clumsy my words are today!".
  • Question
    How do I initiate a hug without being awkward?
    Community Answer
    Smile and don't look like you feel awkward. Even though you feel awkward, doesn't mean you have to show it!
  • Question
    My girlfriend says I am awkward. But I don't know how I am awkward. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    Ask her why she says your awkward. Tell her that you truly don't understand and you sincerely want to know how to change.
  • Question
    How can I be less awkward around my partner (long distance) when we call each other?
    Community Answer
    Start with small talk questions such as: "How was your day?" or "What did you do today?" or "What's the weather like where you are?" Once you get past that it will be easier to have a conversation. The more you talk to them, the less awkward it will be. Also, use FaceTime so you can read their facial expressions. Remember to smile a lot and act happy to see them.
  • Question
    So, my recent boyfriend says that he doesn't know if he likes me as a friend or more than that, but I really like him! What do I do to make us last?
    Community Answer
    First of all, how is he your boyfriend if he doesn't even know if he likes you? Talk it out with him and tell him how you feel. Don't be too pushy because he will feel awkward.
  • Question
    I am hanging out with this guy I've never met in person. We text all the time and I really like him, but when I'm nervous I have a hard time being myself. What can I do?
    Community Answer
    Be yourself, and if he can't accept you for you, that's his loss. Try making small talk or ask him about his interests, favorite classes, activities, etc.
  • Question
    If I am hanging out with someone I like that I have never met in person, how do I greet them without totally screwing things up?
    Community Answer
    Greet them with a friendly hug and a "hey." They're probably feeling just as nervous as you are.
  • Question
    Theres a new student in my class and I ended up being her first friend in the class. I've already asked her many questions, such as what school she attended before, but its still awkward. What can I do?
    Community Answer
    Try doing something fun with her. Experiences bond people much better than just talking.
  • Question
    I have a crush and I sit next to him in a lesson. How do I come up with an interesting conversation?
    Community Answer
    Comment on the weather, ask him how his weekend was or what his plans for the next weekend are, or ask him about his hobbies and see if you share any interests.
  • Question
    I always fidget around when I'm speaking to people. How do I stop?
    Community Answer
    Get a stress ball or another fidget toy to mess around with while you are talking to people.
  • Question
    What if I'm on the phone and I stumble over my words and don't know what to say?
    Community Answer
    You can bring up a topic that you might've seen somewhere that day, or something you haven't talked about before. Or maybe change things up and play "Ask Me Something" if it comes to an awkward silence.
  • Question
    What if my mom and dad want me to change?
    Madison
    Community Answer
    Try to have a reasonable conversation and ask them why they want you to change. Explain your reasons for being the way you are, but listen to their side too. Try to come to a compromise together about what behaviors you can change.
  • Question
    I'm shy around my boyfriend in person, especially when we hug goodbye. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Break the silence! When you guys go to hug goodbye tell him something like, "I had fun hanging out today." Depending on how long you both have been dating tell him you'll miss him when you go in for the hug. Try starting up conversations. Being shy sometimes can get in the way, but maybe he is just as shy as you are, and is waiting for you to make the first move.
  • Question
    How do I know if someone wants to talk to me? Sometimes I start a conversation that they're not interested in and it gets super awkward.
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    It takes two, but no one can expect the other to know beforehand what they want. You start, they answer, and you sense if they want to talk or not. So whenever you feel like starting a conversation, feel free to do so, just take a hint. If they don't want to talk, end it with, "Great, nice talking for a bit, talk again soon!". Even if you do know beforehand that the other person doesn't want to talk, you do want to and that is a valid reason to at least try and start a conversation. You are a person, too.
  • Question
    My crush is in one of my classes. How do I approach him without making it awkward?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    The awkwardness increases the longer you wait. So really, as soon as you think you like someone, say hi. But it will always be awkward, no matter how fast you say something. And that's OK; you know it will be awkward when someone says hi to you in that way, but we forgive each other for it, because it's a chance at love. Also, the smaller the thing is you ask from him, the easier it will be to give it to you. Compare: "Hi, what's your name? Do you have the time?" and "Hi, what's your name, do you want to marry me?" Go slow, keep it simple and short.
  • Question
    How can I stop stumbling over my words and stop laughing about everything? I speak extremely quickly and stumble a lot, and I laugh about anything, which makes life very awkward.
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    You're going to have to pace yourself. Our minds present us with a million things to say, and we want to just push it through our mouth all at once. Look up information density as well, and increase that. It's where you try to say the same amount of information with fewer words. News broadcasts often have a high information density. You could also practice this by answering questions on wikiHow, as you'll be forced to reduce your answers to the limited number of characters allowed. If you force yourself to speak more slowly, all the other issues will evaporate.
  • Question
    I always feel like I know what to say, but when I'm in a conversation I forget it all! Any help?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Don't we all! It's such a frustrating experience. You're all confident, savvy and quick-witted, except when it gets down to it! You could cherish those moments when you do have an awesome reply and focus on remembering those to change the way you see yourself as awkward, thus removing that obstacle of hesitating when it's time to speak up. You could also memorize just a few good responses, instead of all of them. Finally, look into the memory system of 'coat hangers', where you don't remember everything, but each thing is attached to another, and remembering one also brings back the next thing.
  • Question
    How do I start a conversation with a guy when I'm hanging out with him?
    Community Answer
    Check out wikiHow to Start a Conversation with a Guy , Start a Good Conversation , or even Start a Conversation When You Have Nothing to Talk About for some great advice on that very subject.
  • Question
    How do I prevent myself from exiting conversations by dropping my pencil?
    Community Answer
    Say ''It was nice talking to you'' or ''I've got to run, bye'' and then leave without looking back.
  • Question
    How do I be less awkward online with my girlfriend?
    Community Answer
    Ask her things like "how was your day?" and "what did you do?" Talk about common interests such as music or sports. If you have only been going out for a bit, then ask her questions to get to know her better (maybe find out what she likes and dislikes and what her hobbies are and things like that).
  • Question
    I am very awkward, shy and nervous when I speak to people and as I do not have friends, it is really hard. What shall I do?
    Community Answer
    Instead of focusing on others, get to know yourself. Learn all your individual quirks through conversations in your head/in the mirror. Others cannot love you unless you love yourself. Be confident. Be happy. Be you. Not the awkward you. The best you you can ever hope to be. Worst comes to worst, fake it till you make it.
  • Question
    My crush used to be my old friend. We don't talk that much anymore, we barely talk, and we only wave our hands and say "Hi". How can I talk to my crush?
    Community Answer
    Considering that you still greet each other, you could be off to a good start. If you have their number, try to shoot them a text saying that you miss hanging out and want to know how they've been. If you happen to see them sitting alone and they don't seem busy, you could also ask to sit with them and mention this in person. Either way, this could be helpful in getting the two of you to reconnect and catch up on each other's lives.
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