Q&A for How to Be Loved by Your Family

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How can I relate to other family members?

Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA
Family Coach
Michelle Shahbazyan is the Founder of The LA Life Coach, a concierge life, family, and career coaching service based in Los Angeles, California. She has over 10 years of experience with life coaching, consulting, motivational speaking, and matchmaking. She has a BA in Applied Psychology and an MS in Building Construction and Technology Management from Georgia Tech University, and a MA in Psychology with an emphasis on Marriage and Family Therapy from Phillips Graduate University.

Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA

Family Coach

Expert Answer

Just try to be your best self and listen to your family members so you can grow closer to them.

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Question

How do I get my family to respect me again?

Community Answer

You need to prove to them that you are worth their respect. Help them out even when they don't ask for help and be with them. Also be patient. Don't expect respect straight away, as you need to earn it.

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Question

Is it okay that when someone asks for help, I help them, but when I need help or need to tell them something they ignore me?

Community Answer

No, that's not okay. Talk to your family about how you're feeling and how they aren't there for you when you need them. Make sure the conversation is calm and reasonable, and provide examples of what you're talking about. If the situation continues, consider family therapy, and try to make some close friends that you can rely on when your family is not helpful.

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Question

When I get angry, they don't listen to my views, they tell me to shut up and leave, and never see them again. They call me names like "cow," and they don't respect me at all. What should I do?

Community Answer

Talk to someone close about it. Venting may make you feel better. Name-calling is terrible, and verbal abuse should not be tolerated. You are not a cow, your a smart, beautiful individual. If you're a kid/teen, tell a teacher or counselor at school what's going on at home.

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Question

What if I try all of these things but my family still hates me and tells me I’m a dissapoinment?

Community Answer

Not every effort goes unnoticed, neither is it bound to work the way we plan. If you have tried to make them happy and happy for you, you should make time to be happy yourself. You need to grow individually and see your place in the entire scheme. Keep your heart open for them and know that you care for them. Continue learning about leading a good life and don't be harsh on yourself as others are already.

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What do I do if I'm worried that my family doesn't love me?

Community Answer

The best thing to do is to sit down and talk about your feelings. Chances are, you're worried for no reason. Just tell them how you feel and why you feel that way, and see where the conversation goes from there.

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What do I do if my family hates me after making a little mistake?

Community Answer

Try looking at the situation from your family's perspective. You may have done something small, but it might have been big to them. Accepting that family members can be upset with something you did and still love you, will help. Apologize to your family, give it time, and the anger will pass.

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How do I deal with a parent who criticizes me?

Community Answer

Are they right? Try looking at it from their perspective and seek to improve. If they still criticize you even through you are making an effort to improve, then try showing them how hard your are actually working to improve yourself. However also be aware that constant criticism can be a form of verbal and emotional abuse; if they keep it up, talk to your school counselor or a trusted adult outside of your family.

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Question

I live away from my mom and my dad is in prison. My mom has a way to get a hold of me to talk but she never does. My dad spends most of his phone time talking to his girlfriend. How do I make them notice?

Alyvia Scott

Community Answer

The best thing to do is to call your mother and tell her how you feel. Maybe she feels that you don't love her. If you call her, maybe she will recognize that you do love her and want to talk. If you already do call her, tell her about interesting things that are going on in your life. Make her want to know you more. About your father, tell your mom about him and also talk to friends about this. The ones who can give you the best comfort are the ones you love most.

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