Q&A for How to Be a Good House Husband

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How do I maintain a positive mindset as a house husband?

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Marriage & Family Therapist
Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

Marriage & Family Therapist

Expert Answer

To maintain positivity as a house husband, it's important to cultivate certain habits and attitudes. One effective practice is keeping a gratitude journal, where you jot down things you're thankful for each day. This helps shift your focus towards the positive aspects of your life. Staying present in the moment is also key; mindfulness exercises can help you appreciate the here and now. Regular exercise not only benefits your physical health but also boosts your mood and overall well-being. Engaging in activities that bring you joy and trying new experiences can add excitement to your routine and uplift your spirits. Additionally, finding meaning and purpose in your role as a house husband can contribute to a sense of fulfillment. This might involve taking on projects that align with your values or volunteering your time to help others. Sharing kindness and compassion with those around you, including your family and community, fosters a positive atmosphere. Don't forget to inject humor and fun into your daily life, as laughter is a powerful antidote to stress and negativity. Ultimately, appreciating what you have and embracing a mindset of abundance can lead to a more positive outlook on life.

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Question

My partner and I agreed on me being a househusband. We have a daughter with ADHD and processing learning issues, so it's no walk in the park. Now my partner complains that I have it easy compared to what she does as "career mom". How do I handle this?

Community Answer

Your partner may be feeling overwhelmed at work or with the demands of juggling work and parenting. It's difficult to do this, but if you can put aside your hurt feelings and defensiveness and gently probe to find out what's happening inside her, you might be surprised at how she responds. After you've shown how much you care, let her know (again, gently) that when she makes comments about your job being easy, you feel undervalued and unappreciated.

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Question

Is beating my wife considered being good?

Community Answer

No; it is classified as domestic violence and is illegal in most countries. Stop immediately.

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Question

Should a house husband constantly nag and complain about dishes being in the sink?

Community Answer

It depends on the arrangement you and your husband have made regarding chores. As a "house husband," it's natural that he would pick up more of the household chores. However, if you are in charge of dishes and not pulling your weight, then it's understandable that he would complain about that. You should both have a conversation about your expectations regarding the dishes so you can make sure you're both on the same page.

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Question

Would being a house husband have an impact on my sex life? Does my wife have to be the active one?

Community Answer

Not really, it shouldn't affect it anymore than if you both worked or if she was a house wife. As long as you and your wife have good communication skills and are able to express your wants and needs to each other, your sex life should be just fine.

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Question

If my wife is pregnant, should I take a hormone treatment so that I will be able to lactate as well?

Community Answer

No. If you want to help your wife when she's pregnant, focus on doing more chores around the house, running errands for her, and cooking.

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