Q&A for How to Change Your Whole Personality

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  • Question
    How long does it take to change my personality?
    Jessica Elliott, ACC, CEC
    Certified Executive Coach
    Jessica Elliott is a Certified Executive Coach and multi-passionate entrepreneur. She's the founder of LIFETOX, where she hosts mindful experiences and retreats, and J Elliott Coaching, which she provides executive consulting for professionals, teams, and organizations. Jessica has had over fifteen years experience as an entrepreneur and over five years of executive coaching experience. She received her ACC (Associate Certified Coach) accreditation through the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and her CEC (Certified Executive Coach) accreditation through Royal Roads University.
    Certified Executive Coach
    Expert Answer
    Personalities are always changing, so even small changes throughout the day can help you shift into something new.
  • Question
    What do I do if I try to change my personality, but I keep reverting back to my old one?
    Community Answer
    It takes time and effort to change one's personality, and there will be plenty of times when you automatically revert to what's familiar and comfortable. Don't be hard on yourself; just keep working on your new personality until it becomes the "new normal".
  • Question
    Why are fake people liked by everyone?
    Community Answer
    Some fake people study others and learn about them so they can pretend that they have a lot in common. People don't realize that it's a fake personality right away and so they usually like the person that's pretending to be something they're not.
  • Question
    What if I hate everything about myself and I can't think of a single positive thought to help me grow my self-esteem?
    Community Answer
    Surround yourself with people who make you feel good about yourself. Remember that NOBODY is naturally good at things, it takes time and dedication, even if they pretend it doesn't. Try changing small things about yourself one at a time. Take inspiration from people you admire. Develop a hobby you enjoy and can lose yourself in. Try to see yourself as the people that love you see you. I have found that even just walking more confidently, smiling, and complimenting people helps with my self-esteem. It would also be a good idea to talk to someone about this, like a therapist or a counselor, because it sounds like you might be depressed.
  • Question
    Can I switch between new and old personalities as I wish?
    Community Answer
    If you try to keep both personalities on tap, you will end up with serious cognitive dissonance, and may not have a strong sense of self. You should try to merge the parts of both that you like, or if - like me - you feel that the two personalities are mutually exclusive, you need some time to reflect and some people to talk to.
  • Question
    Does this actually work?
    Community Answer
    It depends on what you want to change about yourself and why. Being yourself is almost always best, but sometimes people want change negative personality traits like being mean or jealous. In those cases, making changes can absolutely work and be a good thing.
  • Question
    How do I change my personality and get a boyfriend when I'm young?
    Community Answer
    You don't have to change personality to get a boyfriend. Just be friendly and confident. Also, getting a boyfriend young is overrated. Enjoy your childhood/teen years, and let love come when it comes.
  • Question
    How do I change my whole personality when someone told me I have multiple personality disorder?
    Community Answer
    Was that person a doctor? If not, ignore them. Don't change your personality for someone else. If the person was a doctor, follow the treatment plan they have recommended for you.
  • Question
    What is a person called who changes his personality to look good in front of others?
    Community Answer
    That person would probably be called a snake, a people pleaser, or fake. If you want to change your personality, just try to be consistent so people don't feel like you are being fake.
  • Question
    I want to be anyone but myself. I absolutely hate who I am. I feel so unlovable and distant, and I keep building walls. Should I change all of who I am? Would that be possible?
    Community Answer
    It sounds like what you really need to do is talk to someone about this. You may be suffering from depression; at the very least you have a problem with low self-esteem. If either or both of these things are true, you'll probably be just as unhappy no matter how you change yourself. Speak to a therapist or counselor about this.
  • Question
    What if I am the annoying shy person in the group and want to become, like, a hip hop beast, can I do that?
    Community Answer
    Interact with everyone, be kind, help out, crack corny jokes, and be very social in general. Invite friends to your home and be very open. Don't shy away, try to flirt with the girls. Work hard on your new personality and you'll soon rise up through the ranks as the new king of your gang!
  • Question
    How do I manage interpersonal relationships in a secluded environment when changing my personality?
    Community Answer
    If these interpersonal relationships are ones from prior to the shift, then the other person might not like parting with your old personality. If someone close to you asks why you're acting "strange," open up to them about why you are trying to change-- it will help them accept the new you. As an added bonus, if it turns out they won't accept the person you want to be, then either they aren't a great influence, or they care about you, and think you are being radical in your decision. If you don't know how to act in a certain situation, try spending more time internalizing your persona rather than trying to assume the traits like attire. You want to BE, not just to appear as.
  • Question
    Can I change my personality based on a cartoon character?
    Community Answer
    Yes, within reason. You can incorporate some of that character's traits into your own personality, as long as they aren't harmful and you don't alienate yourself from other people. You should still be yourself, though!
  • Question
    How do I change my angry personality?
    Community Answer
    Do something you like every once in a while, like maybe play a game or just sit around doing as you wish.
  • Question
    What can I do to stop my problem with over-thinking?
    Community Answer
    Go with the first answer you think of. It's probably the right one. If it wasn't, then try to learn from it and don't repeat any mistaken thinking.
  • Question
    How can I change my personality to be more positive?
    Community Answer
  • Question
    What do I do if I don't have a personality and feel like I'm not interesting enough?
    Community Answer
    You can’t help having a personality. Everything you do and the way you do it is an expression of some kind of personality. Chances are you are just so used to yourself that anything interesting about you doesn’t register anymore.
  • Question
    How do I change my personality when I want to be more distant?
    Community Answer
    If you mean you are trying to be more distant, remember this one simple phrase: Only talk if necessary. If someone makes a statement, only respond if it will help you in any way.
  • Question
    Why do I feel silly when I try something new?
    Megan Pepe
    Community Answer
    Probably because its new it takes time to learn and get used to something new.
  • Question
    Will learning and consistently speaking a new language help to change your personality?
    CageyCat
    Top Answerer
    No, learning a different language only means you've expanded your language skills. Growing, aging, learning, and life experiences can gain you skills that help you with future choices.
  • Question
    I'm a lazy person. I do everything at the last minute. I had bad grades. Could changing my personality help me?
    CageyCat
    Top Answerer
    Having bad grades and procrastinating is not about "personalities". It's about payoff. What tangible or intangible reward, even a negative one, do you get for being this way? Example: Some kids and teens act badly to get any attention from their parent/s because the minor gets no attention otherwise. Only you know what reward you're getting. And only you can choose to act differently.
  • Question
    What happens if I want to become a negative person? Then I wouldn't say yes to everything, as the article suggested .
    CageyCat
    Top Answerer
    If you're intending to be passive-aggressive, it's your choice. But being negative means eventually being all alone, because no one (or very few!) would want to be around you.
  • Question
    Around adults I am an extremely quiet, reserved, mature person. But I have ADHD. Around peers I am a very loud, hyperactive person. (I'm also just,, a bad person.) How do I start being quiet again?
    CageyCat
    Top Answerer
    ADHD does not 'come and go' depending on what age group you're around. You may indeed have ADHD and your peers may trigger those behaviors because they (and you) expect you to be " a very loud, hyperactive person -and- just,, a bad person". But your behavior around adults shows you aren't "bad" and can control aspects of how you act. Maybe think about what makes you be "an extremely quiet, reserved, mature person" around adults.
  • Question
    How can I forget my past after been disappointed by my boyfriend?
    CageyCat
    Top Answerer
    Life is full of disappointments and regrets. Though your boyfriend disappointed you, it does not mean you have to give in or give up. The past is gone. Nothing you can do about the past--except to improve yourself today.
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