Q&A for How to Convince Someone to Try a Long Distance Relationship

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  • Question
    Should you talk everyday in a long distance relationship?
    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
    Relationship Therapist
    Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
    Relationship Therapist
    Expert Answer
    While you don't have to talk every day, it's important to communicate often. Communication indicates that you are an important part of the other person’s life. Update your partner on your life, even simple and mundane happenings. Use technology to video chat, call, and send each other pictures, audio clips, and videos. Be clear about how often you want to communicate.
  • Question
    What kills long-distance relationships?
    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
    Relationship Therapist
    Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
    Relationship Therapist
    Expert Answer
    One thing that kills long-distance relationships is lack of trust. The key to every relationship is trust. It is even more critical in a long-distance relationship. Have faith in your partner and in your relationship. Be faithful and positive and define your commitment in a practical way.
  • Question
    Is it possible to start a relationship long distance?
    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
    Relationship Therapist
    Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
    Relationship Therapist
    Expert Answer
    Yes, as long as you maintain a shared goal and vision. A common vision is a key motivating factor to endure the difficult moments in a long-distance relationship. Before you get into a long-distance relationship, you should have a shared vision about your relationship and understand that you are willing to accept the consequences of long-distance.
  • Question
    Is it possible to make a long-distance relationship work?
    Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
    Relationship Therapist
    Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
    Relationship Therapist
    Expert Answer
    It's definitely possible. Set clear expectations. Discuss how long you’re going to be apart, your plan for the future, and how you will communicate, among other details. Discuss if you will stay monogamous or be polyamorous. Plan the next time that you will see each other. Also, express your needs. Don’t assume your partner knows what you need. If you need something, ask them, and in return, respect their needs. If you are feeling scared, insecure, or jealous, tell your partner. Remember, conflict is a natural part of any relationship. The key is to work through conflicting needs constructively.
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