Q&A for How to Deal With Racism

Get a different crush! It sounds like this person is not very nice anyway, and doesn't deserve you. Recognize that just because your crush says something, that doesn't mean that they are right or that it was appropriate to say. You are not a "poo." Look up pictures of amazing people with different shades of brown skin. Are Beyonce or Lupita Nyongo "poos"? Of course not! And neither are you. Recognize that this person is wrong, and you can do so much better than someone who compares people's skin colors to poop. There are many wonderful people out there, so good luck finding someone nice! It may take time, but I bet you will.

Remind him that he is hurting people right now by using slurs. You could also offer to help and support him in finding a therapist or a counselor, since this traumatic incident is still affecting him. Remind him that there is no shame in being hurt, but it is not acceptable to use that pain as an excuse to hurt others.

This is a common issue. If you think they are doing it subconsciously just because they aren't sure what to say to you, you can try talking to your husband and asking him to let his family know that they make you feel left out. He can give them ideas on how they can better include you in their family. If you think they are purposely trying to be mean to you, you and your husband should decide on a course of action that works best for you. You can choose to confront them together, or you might choose to spend less time with them, or even cut them out of your lives altogether.

Keep a log of incidents as they occur. If you feel the environment is too abusive or the teacher's bias is affecting grades, speak to the department head (if it is a large school) or the principal (at a smaller school without departments). If you have other students in the class who can verify the teacher's behavior, this will help your case.

Some people are racist because they were raised that way by their parents and society. Other people are racist because it is easier than confronting their real problems. For example, unemployment is caused by complex problems like changes in the economy and shifts in technology. This is very stressful because there is no easy solution, and nobody to be angry at. Blaming unemployment on a certain race "stealing" all the jobs is easier because then there is someone to be angry with and there seems to be a simple solution to the problem.

I suggest going to the school board, as this could be problematic for your grade.

You should just prove them wrong by being yourself. If someone asks you directly if you are racist, you could say 'I don't believe that I am, but if you see or hear me doing anything racist, please let me know so I can learn.' As people get to know more about you, they will learn who you really are.

Yes. Some people in academic circles believe that racism is defined by one group in power discriminating against a minority group. However, the traditional and widely/commonly accepted definition of racism is prejudice or discrimination directed at someone based on their race by someone who believes their own race is superior in some way. Racists can come from all kinds of people.

The first step to stopping people from doing things like this is to let them know that it isn't funny, and that these comments actually disturb you. If they don't stop after you have told them this, then it's time to bring this issue to the attention of a teacher or superior at your school. The problem is with the bully, not you, so teachers will know best how to handle it.

If you Google the public transportation for your city or town, you should be able to find a contact number for either a customer care line or a complaints line. Write down a few instances of what you have seen with dates/times/stops if you can, and give these examples when you call. If things do not improve, you may need to escalate by speaking to the mayor or other local government, since this is a public transportation system.

If your gym teacher won't do anything about it, your principal should. This behavior is not tolerated in any American school (or at least it shouldn't be). Tell someone of a higher authority about this issue.

Talk with them about at what point they should ask an adult to intervene and who they can trust for intervention. Help them come up with coping mechanisms to deal with the emotional fallout from racism and bullying. For example, have them make a list of things they like about themselves that they can read whenever they need to. You can also roleplay with them so they can practice standing up for themselves. Children often feel better if they have stood up for themselves, but have trouble knowing what to say in the moment. Also make sure they know they can always talk to you about what happened, that other people's behavior is not their fault, and they should not feel ashamed or embarrassed.

Let them know why it is wrong and redirect them to a better way of acting nice to people of different races, religions and origins.

Gently tell them that they themselves are being a bit racist, as they are assuming an entire race cannot be discriminated against. Inform them that you're just as hurt as a non-white person over being a victim of racism, and ask that they not belittle your feelings.

If white children are being excluded from these teams and clubs at your school, you should bring your concerns to the principle or the superintendent. It would be a good idea to have some experiences from white students who attempted to try out for these teams or join the club and were told they were not welcome written down. This will strengthen your case and make it easier to identify where the problem is coming from.

Do not confront them, you are outnumbered and it's too dangerous. You need to get to a public place with witnesses. On the way there call 911 and stay on the line. Hopefully the crowd of witnesses will deter them and the 911 agent can help you stay calm and send help.

Calmly ignore them and walk away. It is not worth you getting yourself in trouble.

Ignore them, if possible. However, if they take their racism to another level (e.g. violent threats), call the police.

This will probably be a long process, so the first step is to not get frustrated with yourself. Remember that you have the right to be upset, and you are learning to let go for your own good, not because you shouldn't be hurt by racism. Make a list of things that you enjoy doing that give you a sense of accomplishment when you finish them. When you have been subjected to racism, start with this list and do one of these things. Exercise is one way to clear out bad emotions more quickly as well, as is ranting to a friend.

That definitely sounds like racism. Racism is discrimination against a member of a minority group because of their race.

While one may have reasonable assumptions about people of a certain background, racism makes one's creed or heritage their main feature, and thus assumes that all traits revolve around it. Racism makes cooperation difficult, if not worse.

It is not tolerated, but is far less noticeable. Think of prostate cancer: it is just as dangerous and common as breast cancer, but gets less attention. Raise the problem with your administration, human resources or those in charge.

It most likely has to do with your perspective. If you're using cable news (CNN, FOX, etc.) as your main news source, then it would make sense that this is what you'd see, since controversy, no matter how minimal, gets viewers. Try to find more credible news sources instead.

Yes. Assuming you are from a certain country just because of your race is a type of racism. Assume ignorance before ill-intent. You could educate them about the country you are from to help give them a better idea of your nationality. If this continues and it bothers you, speak to a trusted adult.

That wouldn't necessarily be considered racist unless he made a racist comment or told you to stay away from him solely because of your race.

Report this to authorities (principal, teachers). They will then watch and listen for this behavior and deal with it when it occurs.