Q&A for How to Deal With a Lover Who Sulks

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  • Question
    What does the silent treatment mean in relationships?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    It means that a person does not openly state what is bothering them and ceases communication, leaving the other person without any information. It is not an effective strategy in a relationship, even a casual one.
  • Question
    What is stonewalling in a relationship?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    It is totally shutting down and avoiding a conversation in multiple ways: verbal as well as non-verbal. It often indicates that a person has checked out or cannot handle the impact of the topic at hand.
  • Question
    How do you respond to the silent treatment?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    Don't make too much of an effort to reach them or try to get them to talk. Let them know that you are there if and when they will be ready. This gives them space if needed and avoids any game playing.
  • Question
    How do you break a silent relationship?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    It is best if the person who wanted/needed the space is the one to reach out. This can be an outreach for just casual contact or a family get-together. It might be too much pressure to expect there to be a big talk.
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