Q&A for How to Deal with Toddlers Who Touch Themselves

Know that masturbation is completely normal, even at that age. Have a talk with her about it, explain that it's normal, but that it should only be done in private. Make sure that you don't make her feel ashamed about it, because that can cause all kinds of mental problems in the future.

You don't make your child stop, you don't want to teach them that their bodies are dirty or wrong, at any age. You DO want to teach them that their bodies are private, and they should only touch their bodies IN private. Our cue words are "bed or bath", because we have had the privacy discussion, and all the awkward questions, and have taught them to they can only do private things in private places, like the bedroom and the bathroom. Seemed like a good compromise to whipping it out at liberty!

Normally this would be typical behavior from very young toddlers, as they have absolutely no idea what they are doing. But the fact that he does this specifically when his mom is not looking indicates he might be being sexually abused. Toddlers aren't usually that verbal at 1 year old, and unfortunately, abusers target them for this. Bring it up to your mom first, then your nephew's mom. For all we know, he is doing it completely innocently and has no idea. But there could also be abuse somewhere.

No, you should not touch the child's private parts. Unless you accidentally touch it because you're the parent and they're younger (i.e. you're changing their diaper, giving them a bath, etc.), then you should not touch the area. Instead, make sure that they know where and when it is appropriate to touch themselves (i.e. in their room with the door mostly closed).

Explain to her why she has to stop. Tell her that she may get teased if she keeps on doing it.