Q&A for How to Disown Your Family

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Should I disown my family if they are causing mental and emotional scarring?

Community Answer

Yes, or at least put some distance between you and them. Your mental health is more important than family ties.

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Is mental harassment a valid reason for disowning a family?

Community Answer

Psychological abuse can be a valid reason, yes. You can try to go No Contact for a while to see if it is good for you.

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What do I do if I am a teen female and have been continuously sexually assaulted by my half brother?

Marlsbad

Community Answer

If you don't feel comfortable bringing it up with your parents, or the police, tell a trusted adult who can help direct you to local or national groups that work to help teens in your situation. You need to get someone to help you, because that behavior is never acceptable.

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Can I disown my friend even if we're not related?

Community Answer

Yes, and the process is quite simple. Just avoid her and don't talk to her.

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Question

How do I prevent my family from benefiting from my death?

Community Answer

It is important to have a will. You can leave your assets to the person/s or organization/s of your choice. If you have no will, state laws determine who inherits your assets and that could well be your family. See a lawyer for advice on drawing up a watertight will.

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I'm a girl almost 16 and my parents hit me a lot. What can I do?

Community Answer

Keep a diary of all the events and exactly what happened. You may need to have this evidence. Keep it safe somewhere like an online email address they cannot see. What is happening may be unlawful, but if it is just your word against theirs, it will be hard for you. Diaries of events help build your case.

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Question

How can I get my mom to stop yelling at me whenever we come into contact?

Marlsbad

Community Answer

If you are old enough, you can file a restraining order, which would prevent certain contact with your mother, including one where she cannot approach you, or speak to you.

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Question

I'm 16 and my family is mentally and emotionally abusive, my father smokes marijuana nightly, and my mother drinks daily and nightly. Is it possible to legally transfer to a friends house and "disown" them?

Community Answer

Yes, you may be able to legally emancipate yourself. Consult with child services to start the process.

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Question

Is there any way to gradually write them off over time without hurting their feelings?

Marlsbad

Community Answer

This can be easier if you don't live with them. Slowly filter them out of your life, then you can move to make bigger steps like blocking their phone number, blocking them on all social media outlets, etc. You may run into issues, though, if you ever see them in public. Be careful, be wise, be safe.

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Question

As an adult, how can I disown only my mother while she is married to my father?

Community Answer

Talk to your father and tell him how you feel about your mother. Let him know you do not wish to see your mother anymore, but are happy to see your father alone. He can come visit you, or you can meet up where your mother's not around, and you can always stay in touch by phone, email, etc.

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Question

How do I cut all legal ties with my family?

Community Answer

Consider getting a restraining order, and talk to a lawyer. A lawyer can guide you through the process of legally doing what you wish.

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Question

My parents are forcing me to go to my brother's concert and I don't want to. I need to disown them.

Community Answer

You are being overdramatic. You don't need to disown your parents just because they're making you attend an event you don't want to. Doing things you don't want to sometimes is a normal part of life. Everyone's parents make them do things they don't want to sometimes. That doesn't make them bad parents. Disowning your family is a very serious thing that is only done if your family is truly terrible.

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Question

What is the first step I should take to legally disown my sister?

Community Answer

Write a durable power of attorney and will that specifically state your wishes.

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Question

How much abuse do you have to have gotten from your parents to call child protection. I've gotten hit and stuff before, but nothing too extreme, although they do over-control my life. What can I do?

Marlsbad

Community Answer

Abuses range from mental, psychological and emotional to physical. If a parent has hit you, you can call CPS. They can remove kids from spaces, even without physical abuse present. There are some gray area, but hitting, slapping, tripping, pushing you down the stairs are all forms of physical abuse. Call CPS immediately. They will be able to provide help, information, and a safegaurd for you as you undergo whatever process necessary to be safe.

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Question

Can a 12 year old disown one parent who is abusive but still wants to control his life?

Community Answer

Yes, this may be possible. Talk to your other parent (the non-abusive one) about how you feel and depending on what the say, if they decide to help you, then great. However, if not, you can call child services to intervene. Whether or not they can help will depend on where you live.

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Question

Can I be emancipated because my parents are gay?

Community Answer

No. Being gay has nothing to do with how well they parent.

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Question

I am 11 and want to disown my parents. They both smoke weed and I think we will never get anything out of life because of it. Can I disown them?

Community Answer

If smoking weed is illegal in your area, you may call CPS and ask what you can do to get out of this situation. Otherwise, try talking to a school counselor about your situation. If they think you are in danger, they will report it.

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Question

Can a 10yr old disown her father, who she does not live with, legally? She is still living with her mother and step-father.

Marlsbad

Community Answer

Because she doesn't live with him, it would certainly make the process easier, as long as he has no custodial rights. It would be possible with a restraining order.

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Question

If an attorney claims that my parent legally disowned me, is he under obligation to communicate this via written communication, or not?

Community Answer

Send the attorney a written request for the evidence of this, and reference what he said and when he said it to the best of your recollection. You can write directly, you do not need a legal person to write for you.

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Question

How can I disown my family if they have paid for everything I have, and I need to keep some of those things?

Community Answer

If the things have been given to you, they should still be yours. If they are mutually used by your family, it will be more difficult.

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Question

If I call child protective services will they take my guardian to jail?

Community Answer

Without clarifying why you're calling child protective services, it is impossible to answer this question. You would need to explain why you wish to call them and even then, there is no clear and certain answer because a case would have to be mounted against your guardian for whatever reason you are calling for, and they would have to be found guilty in order to go to jail. Even then, the sentence might be transferred to home detention or something else. Such broad questions do not have easy answers.

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Question

If I have a parent who drinks a lot and mentally hurts me without being outright abusive, would disowning them be an effective method of healing?

Community Answer

Yes, it could be effective. Sometimes you have to separate yourself from unhealthy individuals to allow yourself to heal from the pain they have caused you.

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Question

I'm 12, almost 13 and my parents psychologically abuse me. I don't have a phone, so I can't call CPS, and no one I tell will even try or give me the phone to do it. How do I disown them or call CPS?

Community Answer

Tell an adult, like a teacher or guidance counselor, that you're being abused. Tell them exactly what's happening and what you want them to do (call CPS). If they won't listen to you, tell another adult. If you don't go to school, try talking to a friend's parent.

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Question

Can someone change their name if they're adopted?

Community Answer

Anyone can change their name if they're 18 or older. If you're underage, you can change your name with the permission of your legal guardians.

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Question

Can a child that is 18 but still in high school be disowned?

Community Answer

Yes because that person is still in the public school system, unless they are graduating.

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Question

Should I disown my family if they were abusive in the past but are better parents now?

Community Answer

I don't think you should be punishing your parents for the past if they are honestly changing, but it is your decision.

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Question

Is it possible to disown a sibling?

Community Answer

Yes! You can disown anyone in your family, including a brother or sister. It can cause family drama and emotional pain for you, your parents, or your sibling though. As with disowning anyone, you should think about the matter carefully and responsibly, and don't take it lightly.

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Question

I want to disown my mother. My ex has full custody of my son and my mother has access rights. If I disown her, can I make it so she can't see my son?

Community Answer

You may need to get a lawyer or go to court about it. Disowning her won't automatically terminate her access rights.

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Question

How can I disown my 26 year old son?

Community Answer

Write him a letter telling you you're disowning him. Live your own life, separate from your son. As he's 26 years old, you can easily disown him. If he were younger than 18, disowning him would be more difficult.

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Question

My parents are always yelling at me and telling me I'm trash, leave me at home to clean while they go out, and make fun of me being overweight. What should I do?

Community Answer

Talk to a close family member about it or call child protective services or tell a teacher if you are a child.

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