Expert Q&A for How to Dump Your Boyfriend Nicely

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  • Question
    How do you start the breakup conversation?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    One way to begin is to say, "I really need to talk to you about something." Then you can either tell him about the break up or state that you've appreciated the relationship, but you want to break up. Use your judgement when deciding the best way to phrase the actual breakup part.
  • Question
    My relationship is long distant. What should I do?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    Since your relationship is long distant, you won't have as many options. Although it's always better to break up with someone in person, this likely won't be possible in your case. Don't feel like you have to wait to do it in person, as this isn't fair to either of you. It's best to break up with them during a Skype, FaceTime, or phone call, which are as close as you get to face-to-face. However, don't do it via text.
  • Question
    How do you tell him at school if that's the only time you can face-to-face?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    If telling him at school is your only option, go ahead and do it there. However, do it as close to the end of the school day as possible. Don't do it as you're going to class. Additionally, try to talk to him alone.
  • Question
    How should I break up with my boyfriend if he is always sad, depressed, or suicidal?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    If he's felt like this during your relationship, he'll likely continue to feel that way afterwards. However, you shouldn't stay with someone just because you're worried they'll be upset. You should be getting something out of the relationship, too. Talk to him gently about your need to end the relationship and let him know that you think he may need help so that he can feel better.
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