Q&A for How to Get Along with Your Sister

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How do you get your sister to respect you?

Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Supatra Tovar is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, Fitness Expert, and the Owner of Dr. Supatra Tovar and Associates. Dr. Tovar has worked in the fields of health education, clinical dietetics, and psychology. With over 25 years of holistic wellness experience, she practices Holistic Health Psychotherapy. She combines her psychology, diet, and fitness knowledge to help those struggling with depression, weight gain, eating disorders, life transitions, and relationships. Dr. Tovar holds a BA in Environmental Biology from The University of Colorado Boulder, an MS in Nutrition Science from California State University, Los Angeles, and a PsyD in Clinical Health Psychology from Alliant International University, Los Angeles.

Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Stop name calling and practice kindness instead. You can really get in a tit-for-tat name calling extravaganza if this kind of behavior goes unchecked.

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Question

How do I get closer to my sister?

Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Supatra Tovar is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, Fitness Expert, and the Owner of Dr. Supatra Tovar and Associates. Dr. Tovar has worked in the fields of health education, clinical dietetics, and psychology. With over 25 years of holistic wellness experience, she practices Holistic Health Psychotherapy. She combines her psychology, diet, and fitness knowledge to help those struggling with depression, weight gain, eating disorders, life transitions, and relationships. Dr. Tovar holds a BA in Environmental Biology from The University of Colorado Boulder, an MS in Nutrition Science from California State University, Los Angeles, and a PsyD in Clinical Health Psychology from Alliant International University, Los Angeles.

Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Be relatable and approachable! Dismissing her will only drive a wedge between the two of you. Also, make an effort to really listen to her and be interested in her life.

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Question

How do you get your sister to stop making fun of you?

Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Supatra Tovar is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, Fitness Expert, and the Owner of Dr. Supatra Tovar and Associates. Dr. Tovar has worked in the fields of health education, clinical dietetics, and psychology. With over 25 years of holistic wellness experience, she practices Holistic Health Psychotherapy. She combines her psychology, diet, and fitness knowledge to help those struggling with depression, weight gain, eating disorders, life transitions, and relationships. Dr. Tovar holds a BA in Environmental Biology from The University of Colorado Boulder, an MS in Nutrition Science from California State University, Los Angeles, and a PsyD in Clinical Health Psychology from Alliant International University, Los Angeles.

Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Take a moment to breathe and count to ten. Try not take the name-calling personally—she's actually acting out because she has some unmet need. With this in mind, tell your sister that you would appreciate being spoken to respectfully, and that you'll give her the same courtesy.

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Question

How do you build trust between siblings?

Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Supatra Tovar is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, Fitness Expert, and the Owner of Dr. Supatra Tovar and Associates. Dr. Tovar has worked in the fields of health education, clinical dietetics, and psychology. With over 25 years of holistic wellness experience, she practices Holistic Health Psychotherapy. She combines her psychology, diet, and fitness knowledge to help those struggling with depression, weight gain, eating disorders, life transitions, and relationships. Dr. Tovar holds a BA in Environmental Biology from The University of Colorado Boulder, an MS in Nutrition Science from California State University, Los Angeles, and a PsyD in Clinical Health Psychology from Alliant International University, Los Angeles.

Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Never tell on your sibling unless they might get hurt or are in danger. There's an unspoken sibling code: you always have each other's backs, which includes never telling on one another. Provide guidance and advice when necessary, but don't escalate things further than that.

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Question

How can I impress my sister?

Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Supatra Tovar is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist (PSY #31949), Registered Dietitian, Fitness Expert, and the Owner of Dr. Supatra Tovar and Associates. Dr. Tovar has worked in the fields of health education, clinical dietetics, and psychology. With over 25 years of holistic wellness experience, she practices Holistic Health Psychotherapy. She combines her psychology, diet, and fitness knowledge to help those struggling with depression, weight gain, eating disorders, life transitions, and relationships. Dr. Tovar holds a BA in Environmental Biology from The University of Colorado Boulder, an MS in Nutrition Science from California State University, Los Angeles, and a PsyD in Clinical Health Psychology from Alliant International University, Los Angeles.

Supatra Tovar, PsyD, RD

Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Use humor! Point out what's weird and funny in your family; chances are, she's thinking the same thing! Feel to watch some comedy shows and practice your best jokes on her, too.

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Question

What do you do when your sister has a friend over but you like that person too and also want to spend time with them?

Community Answer

If it's your sister's friend, they may want some privacy. Try to be understanding and respectful of this. While you may want to join in the fun, your sister may not want you tagging along. However, if they invite you to participate in some group activities, take advantage of this.

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Question

How do I make my sister happy when she is crying?

Community Answer

Try asking what's wrong. Offer any comfort and guidance you can think of, especially if the issue is something you've experienced before. However, sometimes just listening can be enough. If you did something to make your sister cry, offer a sincere apology.

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Question

How do you make something nice for your older sister?

Community Answer

Think of something she would really like and make a thoughtful gift for her based around that. Your sister will really appreciate you making her something from the heart.

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Question

If your sister hates you and does not like you, how do tell her you love her? How do start making her like you?

Community Answer

Just be brave and tell your sister you love her. Even if she acts like she hates you, she probably doesn't. Moving forward, do not hesitate to open up about your feelings. Your sister probably does not hate you, even if it feels that way at times.

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Question

What if you accidentally hurt her?

Community Answer

Apologize and try to work on using your words to communicate in the future. You do not want to hurt your sister on a regular basis.

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Question

If she always starts the fight, what do you do?

Community Answer

If you feel you're being picked on, talk to an adult. Do not act like you're bad mouthing your sister. Just come to an adult and calmly explain the situation. Say that you would appreciate some help diffusing things with your sister.

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Question

What if I accidentally say a bad word and my set sister and her twin want to tell my mom, but are saying that if I'm nice, they won't tell our mom. What should I do then?

Community Answer

You should be nice to your sisters regardless of the issue. In this case, however, try to apologize for saying the bad word. In the event you get in trouble with your mom, accept the punishment with maturity.

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Question

What if you are in a car and you don't want to disturb your sister but you want to hug her?

Community Answer

Do not hug your sister if she doesn't want to be touched. She has a right to her own personal boundaries.

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Question

What if she is a small and she can't understand?

Community Answer

Then be patient. If your sister is a toddler, she won't be able to get boundaries right away. Instead of getting angry, but understanding. You should also ask your parents how to help deal with a very young sibling.

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Question

What is she does not answer your texts?

Community Answer

It's normal for people to forget a text on occasion. Try to give your sister the benefit of the doubt. However, if she seems to snub you specifically over and over again, bring up the fact it bothers you respectfully. Your sister may not mean to hurt your feelings.

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Question

What if she makes you cry and is younger than you?

Community Answer

You should ask for an apology. Even if your sister didn't mean to hurt your feelings, it's not appropriate to make someone else cry.

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Question

How do I get my 8 year old sister to play school and stuff like that?

Community Answer

You can try asking her, or agreeing to play something she wants later. However, you can also try to find a game you both enjoy.

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Question

Does this work with teenagers?

Community Answer

Yes. The advice here should also help if you're a teen.

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Question

What if your sister always wears your clothes?

Community Answer

This is where setting boundaries can be helpful. Say something to your sister like, "I don't feel comfortable with you wearing my clothes. Can you please stop?" From there, try to be firm about this in the future.

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Question

What if your sister will never forgive you?

Community Answer

It's unlikely your sister will never forgive you, even if she seems really mad now. Give it time and your sister should come around eventually.

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Question

How can you make your sister listen to you?

Community Answer

Communication can be difficult, especially between siblings. Try to talk to your sister regularly. If you have a good day-to-day flow of conversation, it will be easier to make your sister listen and understand when there is a problem.

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Question

How do you get your younger sister to play what you want to play instead of her trying to set the rules?

Community Answer

Take turns. Ask your sister to allow you to choose the rules of a game sometimes. You can agree to trade off.

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Question

I have a sister, but I don't know her. I'm going to met her on Friday. How should I act?

Community Answer

Try to stay calm. Acknowledge you'll be nervous, but go into the situation without expectations. Talk things over with an adult or friend to help process your emotions before and after the meeting.

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Question

How do you get your sister to help you clean your room?

Community Answer

Agree to help her with her room as well. You can say something like, "If we both clean our rooms together, we'll get the job done faster."

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Question

My sister gets angry with me when I do nothing and never apologizes?

Community Answer

Talk to your parents. If you feel you're being disrespected, they can help you and your sister work out your problems. However, do not expect your parents to take your side. Parents do not usually take sides in these situations. Their goal will be to help you and your sister smooth things over.

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