Q&A for How to Get Your Adult Children to Move Out

Ask your child about what their long-term goals are—as humans, we really only do things if we want them ourselves. The first step is really talking about what they want to do and where they see themselves in the future, and potentially looking for ways to help them with those plans. At that point, you could try to establish a deadline for when they'd move out.

Give them a 4 week notice and then apply for an eviction order. You've given them plenty of chances at this point, and they'll continue to walk all over you if you let them.

Inform them that you are selling the house, and they need to find alternative accommodation. Make it clear that they will not be able to move to your new place.

Contact your county's sex offender office for assistance in finding new living arrangements. Many counties offer resources to help families in similar situations maintain a more normal lifestyle.

Begin by gradually reducing the comforts you provide, such as buying fewer groceries and limiting access to amenities like cable and Wi-Fi. Restrict their use of household devices by keeping passwords and remote controls private. When they notice these changes, have a conversation about the importance of independence and encourage them to start their own life.

I was in the same situation. We sat down with her and helped her develop a list of things she needed to do to become independent. Things like getting a better job, saving, buying a car, and applying for child support from her ex were on the list. Then we came up with very strict rules about how she could occupy our spare room, including that she had to be up and out of bed by 9 every day, and had to put her son to bed by 8pm so we had some peace and quiet in the house. There were a lot of rules. She moved out in about 2 months.

Have her look around and find out average rent and utilities for your area. If she plans to get a roommate, ask her to think about what she will do if her roommate becomes unexpectedly unemployed or moves out unexpectedly and it takes a month or two to get a new roommate. Then have her start a savings account where she contributes the estimated monthly cost into the account (and makes no withdraws to cover unexpected expenses), so that she can learn what it will feel like to live on less spending money. (She can use some later for a deposit, but should keep the rest as savings.) Also have her start either buying her own food or contributing money to the house that equals what she eats.

Only if you are totally prepared to pick up the tab should, or when, he loses his job. Your credit will be destroyed if you do not. Be clear on your expectations and consequences. Are you willing to sell the car if he stops paying? You could require your child to show good faith in meeting the financial demands of having the car by putting money down, perhaps $4-500 per month. If the child has shown that he can be responsible for 4-6 months making this payment to you, you may feel more secure that he will have the money to keep up on the monthly expense. This money could be held in escrow in the event he loses his job. Also, consider applying for a free or discounted car through local charity organizations.

If you fear he may harm himself, seek professional help for you and for him.

Yes, there are. After 18, or the legal adult age in your state/territory, you can go down to the court and request an eviction notice. If your eviction notice request is approved, your adult child will normally have 30 days to leave. If they do not leave, you can take this issue to small claims court. In addition, you can coerce your adult child into filing for emancipation.

Sit them down and let them know that one of the requirements of being able to stay in the house is to treat everyone with respect. If they choose not to do that, while that is their right, they can just exercise that right somewhere else. So, ask them to move out if they don't shape up.

It sounds like she may be suffering from anxiety. She is probably just as frustrated as you are, if not more so. A therapist/counselor could help you both in finding strategies to overcome it.

Take him to court and evict him. You don't owe him anything, certainly not a mansion of his own to live in.

The reason he doesn't understand "normal boundaries and consequences" could be that you have tolerated his behavior. Time to put your foot down. Give him a certain time to move out on his own. If he is a legal adult, he must support himself. If he refuses to leave, talk to a lawyer. You have enabled him long enough.

Just simply tell her so. Remind her that having a job is a responsibility that comes with other responsibilities as well, including having/getting reliable transportation to and from work. If you are her only means of transportation, then let her know that you expect her to pay a portion of the maintenance and fuel costs. Then, come up with a fair amount for her to pay.

If your house is their official residence, you cannot just lock it up and leave. That would fall under an illegal eviction, and you could get in serious legal trouble for it. If you have told her to leave and she has not, then you will need to start the legal eviction process to force her out.

You could compromise (i.e. let him pay rent, live next door, something that keeps him close). If you've made it clear he is still part of your family, then you might want to give him time/space to think on it.

Increase the rent by a certain amount each month until it becomes cheaper to live elsewhere.

Find out what fair market rental prices are for a house of that type in your area, then present him with a rental agreement for full rental value. Let him know if he doesn't wish to pay that amount monthly, he will be evicted, and you'll find a non-family person to rent it. (See above about evicting your adult child.) Then do it!

18 is pretty young, maybe you should give him a second chance. Let him know that lying under your roof is unacceptable, and that lying to his boss is likely to get him fired. Consider asking your son to pay a reasonable amount of rent if he wants to continue living with you. Tell him that if you find out he's been lying again, he will have to live elsewhere.

Sit them down and be honest with them. Give them a certain amount of time to find a new situation, then ask for the keys.

If the ill health is debilitating, you might be eligible for government assistance (depending on what country you live in). If his health problems are not debilitating, then I suggest you follow the recommendations outlined above. Be supportive and loving, but tell him you've had enough.

This is rough I am sure, but I think that if he is hitting her, the police need to be involved. By allowing this to happen without consequences, you are saying it is alright, which obviously it isn't.

Since he's living in your house, you can establish rules about screen time and encourage other activities, such as going outside. Consider limiting his phone or television use for a set period each day.

Discuss the issue with your spouse and agree on a plan to not let her move back in. As an adult, she should be responsible for her own living situation.

If your daughter is working hard toward her degree, you should continue to help her until she graduates. But make it clear that once she has her degree, she must get a job and take charge of her own life. Give her a time frame after she graduates, and stick to it.

It's perfectly acceptable to move out yourself. Consider finding a place with only one bedroom and inform your adult child that there won't be space for them in the new home.

Assess and write down the reasons. Then explain to them in a calm, unemotional manner why it is time they moved out.

Record his threats on a phone or tablet and take it to the police. Apply for an eviction notice, which will give him 30 days to move out. If he has drugs in your house, tell the police and they will probably just come and arrest him.

Your situation is much like mine. I am giving him an eviction notice and, with the help of the local police, (whom I have met with), if he does not attend psychiatric appointments and take the recommended treatments, he will be escorted out of the house. It's tough love and it won't be pleasant for any of us, but it's the only way to ensure he gets the help that he needs.