Q&A for How to Get a Good Man

Ask yourself where you would like to see your life going. If you're somebody for whom marriage and kids are important, you should look for a romantic partner that shares those goals. Ask yourself what's important to you in your life. If traveling a lot and being able to go to a new country at least once a year is important to you, then you would be looking for a partner who is open to adventures and like to travel.

To find great tips on attracting a boy your own age, check out the wikiHow: How to Attract a Boy .

This saying is originally attributed to Mae West (although it is not completely certain it was her phrase first), some time in the 1930s. It is a comic play on the traditional phrase: "A good man is hard to find," and is considered to be a double entendre.

Compatibility and friendship are an important place to begin with before considering marriage. You need to get along well, share interests and really like each other. It's important to want to spend time together too, as marriage is a very long relationship. So, the basics are be friendly, be prepared to have an interest in the man's interests as well as you own and give the relationship time to blossom. For helpful tips on finding a man and encouraging him to think about marrying you, check out the wikiHow: How to Get a Man to Marry You .

This depends on how you define “good.” There are many wonderful women in the world and it’s a good idea to look for your lifetime companion in places where you are likely to find women with interests similar to yours, like church, work, social events you enjoy, doing sports, traveling, etc. Be open to the possibilities and don’t be judgmental. You’ll find some helpful tips on searching for and finding a woman to marry here: How to Find a Woman to Marry .

No, this does not mean he doesn’t love you. If you’re not living together, it most likely means that he expects you to pay your own way when dating, etc., and he probably expects you to be independent and able to take care of yourself. If you do live together, he might expect both of you to share the expenses. Rather than wondering what it means though, it would be a really good idea to have a conversation with him about his thoughts on finances and what his expectations are for how the two of you contribute and share money in your relationship. It is better to speak boldly about money than to feel annoyed or controlled by how it is managed in your relationship.

It is not being troublesome to ask someone you’ve been dating long term for dates, that is a normal part of a loving relationship. The problem is that you’re allowing this man too much space and he is fitting you in where it suits him rather than being an active participant in a caring relationship. At this point, it would be perfectly reasonable to ask him for a talk about your relationship, where it stands, how seriously he sees the two of you, where he thinks it is headed. Also, tell him how it makes you feel when you’re left dangling, waiting for him to decide it’s time for a date and how after a year together, it would be reasonable to see each other often. However, don’t be surprised if asking him these things causes him to shut down or call it off; it does seem he has been taking advantage of your good heart and asking him to get real might cause him to reveal his true intentions, which you deserve to know anyway.

It seems like this man is trying to control you by giving you mixed messages, pretending he likes you as you are, then making it clear what he does and does not want. Telling you that you’re very stubborn and headstrong is a red flag he doesn’t like your independent spirit and it probably irks him when you stand up for yourself. As for playing games, it’s him who is playing games with you. Try to take a hard look at how this relationship is working for you, acknowledging your own feelings and if you feel controlled, unhappy or pushed around, then it’s likely this man isn’t healthy for you. You could try telling him: "I don’t like it when you say I need to change. My independent spirit is something to be proud of, not something to be ashamed of. If you don’t like it, then maybe we’re just not compatible." Put yourself first.