Q&A for How to Handle Teenager Rebellion

Does he act the same way at home? If so, do you punish him or just let him get away with it? He may feel that because there are no consequences when he acts out that way at home, he can get away with it in school. The best thing to do would be to hold him accountable. If he argues or acts out at school, send him to the principal. If he does so at home, take away a privilege (TV, phone, etc.) or ground him. Tell him exactly what you expect from him and be consistent with punishments. If this doesn't work, maybe he needs to me moved to a different class at school.

The first step is figuring out where she gets the phone. Does she get an allowance and use that money? Stop her allowance. Her friends? Limit interaction with those friends. Search her room and her bag every day if you have to. Remind her that this would not be happening if she hadn't deceived you in the first place. Next time you find a phone, ground her for a month. If she needs a phone to contact you, get her a flip phone with no internet capabilities.

Do something that shows your daughter you love her. Maybe take her roller skating or another activity she used to enjoy when she was acting like her old self.

Make it clear she cannot bring friends over to your house while you are away at work and haven't given permission. Give her opportunities in the weekend to invite friends over or take them out. If she disobeys you, remove privileges such as money/allowance, access to the internet, or ground her from the prom.

Have you tried a reward system? Attending school brings a small reward, and skipping means a punishment. Such as no phone or video games.

You don't have to be too harsh on him. Get emotionally close to him. Talk to him in a calm way and tell him just how much you love him. If he still doesnt change, a harsher attitude may be needed.

Your father is abusing your sister. Ask your mother to do something but if she's too scared, then it's up to you to stop it. You should look after your own safety too, so call the police next time it happens. If you're afraid of doing this though, talk to a school teacher/counselor/other trusted adult about what is happening, so they can step in and do something. What is happening is definitely wrong and won't stop until someone intervenes.

Growing up happens. You will need to accept that the cute 5-year-old that your daughter once was has now changed into an independent woman. Instead of yelling and raising your voice, try to have a calm conversation about the expectations of both you and her. Lead by example and make it clear that behavior choices have consequences beyond your own household. Help her to see that you care because society won't care and will judge her choices harshly if she does anything that doesn't meet society's standards.

If this "attitude" has been ongoing since he was young, consider speaking to a psychologist. It could be a neuro-developmental disorder. If his behavior is much more recent, try figuring out his interests. Taking a more passive approach to your son could help with any disrespect.

Get him into therapy as soon as possible, in particular, aim for getting a childhood trauma therapist. Even though his father was abusive, he still loved him and doesn't understand the abuse. Moreover, he has been exposed to his father's abusive behavior and this is a vital time to have a qualified third party help your son to understand that the abuse was wrong, that it harmed you and the family and to prevent him from repeating the cycle himself later on. Also, try to avoid placing too much responsibility on him to cope; this is a hard time of transition for him and he needs help too.

Do not let him skip his classes. If he does, take away privileges such as phone, allowance, or a hobby he likes to do. Grounding is pretty ineffective in these uncertain times, so that is not a good option. If he still refuses to do schoolwork, see if there is an underlying issue. One of his teachers could be bullying him, or he doesn’t understand it. Also, reward him when he completes assignments or finishes tasks, such as an extra hour on Netflix, a longer time doing something he enjoys or some sort of treat he loves.

Be there to drive your daughter home or have a friend pick her up to prevent her hanging out with the older kids. If you find she keeps doing it, ground her or take away privileges, like her phone. If she asks to stay over at a friend's house during the week, try to find a weekend for them to get together but inform her that school nights are off the table. You can also ask her teachers to prevent her leaving class at the end of the day until you collect her personally.

At 15, your son is probably full of hormones and it is not unusual for teenagers to be hot headed or erratic. Try talking to your son about better ways to handle his anger, if he gets the urge to punch or kick something then suggest he punches a pillow, or even get him into something like boxing where he can get rid of all his energy and tension. You could try and stop him by warning that if he breaks anything then he will have to help pay for it. You could also take him to some anger management classes if it gets any worse; this isn't a journey you need to take alone.

Communication is always key to cooperation from anyone. "Can you do the dishes soon please because we want to start cooking dinner" is probably more likely to make a teen inclined to do something than "do the dishes now!". First, try explaining to her that the household chores are everyone's responsibility, and it's her job to hold up her end of the work and that you would be very grateful towards her if she did her part. You can also motivate her with the promise of some weekly pocket money in exchange for some chores. Remember though to keep your expectations reasonable, you as the adult should also keep up your end and not overload her with work, she needs time to sleep, do homework and relax too.

Don't spend your energy arguing with them, make it clear that they can do some chores or they won't have clean clothes or cooked food. As for the comments, don't show any reaction, hopefully they will stop when they don't get the attention they're wanting.

18 is usually considered the age of a legal adult. So your daughter is an adult, this isn't rebellion. But if you feel like she's in real danger, try talking to her.

All teenagers may have rough spots, and still love you to bits underneath. However, if she talks about death a lot, perhaps go to counseling together or offer that she has private sessions, her school should have this option available. This can help your bond and help her as well. Keep trying though, you're her mother and underneath all that gruffness, she still loves you, needs you and relies on your guidance despite the rebelliousness. Read the article again, it'll have some good pointers to help you.

Your sister seems to be very young. When a child thinks that their family only wants to 'tell' what to do and not allow them to be, they react aggressively. Give it a few weeks. Praise her positive actions and congratulate her for doing something well, like playing a game or whatever she does for fun, where she does so without being mean spirited or selfish. Even if you are actually angry at her for wasting time or such, be supportive when you see positive interactions. This will make her look up to you for approval and trains her to do more of the approved behaviours. Then start asking, 'You haven't put your books in place? I'll do it this time. You should do it next time.' Try this approach; it shows her what to do while you remain calm and it'll help to make her adapt to your guidance. Give her a month and then speak more firmly once she has had a chance to learn.

You are probably questioning and finding a lot of new information. Try to connect with past friends and parents as well as making new connections. Stay out of danger, don't break rules, as they are there to keep you and others safe, such as not drinking alcohol. Instead, find an outlet, like reading or drawing or swimming.

He needs an outlet for all the built-up emotions he has. He feels safe enough to take it out on you when he is at home. Try to find a different outcome for him, like volunteering or art or music. And explain to him how this impacts your own comfort and personal space so he understands it's not all about him.

That’s a good point, the article does contradict itself a bit. I think in this case it means that it’s important to set boundaries, but don’t cross the line. For example, going through your teen’s stuff frequently, controlling who they are friends with, and so forth, would cross the line, but it’s important to set rules like a curfew or screen time limit.

Establish that abusive language is never okay. If you've already tried talking and instituted loss of privileges, the next step may be going to a counselor or a therapist. As for whereabouts, it's good to know where your teen is, but it may be overwhelming if you're constantly asking. Establish trust with your teen, and start to show that you trust your teen with little things, but if they violate your trust, let them know the consequences.

Confronting comes off in a negative way. Ask them how school was, and ask them about the simple things that they did that day. Planning whole family activities may be a good way for everyone to come together and make an environment in which it's easier for them to talk with you. Try a weekend away camping, it can change a lot of things being outdoors in nature together.

Moodiness is a normal part of adolescent behavior. Try to cope with their mood swings, as most of the time they're not aware of the consequences of their mood. Try not to be too frightened, as you were probably the same way as a teen.

Spitting is never an okay answer to anything. Make sure your daughter is clearly aware of this. Next time she lies, try not to be too confronting about it. Anger and yelling will only escalate the situation. However, do explain to her why spitting is disrespectful and without purpose.

Encourage them to do one-on-one activities together. Try to have a whole family bonding time, such as eating dinner together or hiking. Once he's comfortable, encourage him to do one-on-one activities.

Try to talk to your son about his reasoning. Why doesn't he want to get an education? Try not to confront him, as it will only make the situation worse. Anger may be a sign of adolescent depression. Perhaps get him to the doctor.

Talk to him in a calm collected way. Confronting and yelling is only going to make the situation worse. Try to figure out the reasoning behind his actions. Maybe he wants to fit in more. You'll never know until you ask and listen without interrupting.

Grounding for a certain amount of time and/or restricting use of electronic devices will show that there are consequences to faking sickness and taking advantage of your concern for your child's well-being. Explain the importance of being honest about illness, and how there is a danger people won't believe your teen about a serious illness after faking being sick.

While you have good intentions behind the rules, does your daughter know what they are? It is hard to live with a bunch of strict rules that stop the very things teenagers want to be doing and to not even know why. Perhaps you could ease up a little. For example, perhaps allow the sleepovers during vacation time. Lying and going against your wishes is a sign she feels restricted and doesn't have faith in your restrictions. Spend time explaining why the ground rules exist and how you might be willing to be less strict on some under certain circumstances, but that there is no exception when it concerns her safety. As for the phone, confiscating it temporarily can teach her consequences.