Q&A for How to Identify Bad Friends

A healthy friendship should be very balanced. There should be equal give and take—you shouldn't feel like all your energy is being sucked up, or like you aren't a priority to your friend.

Make sure that your friends want to become the best versions of themselves. They shouldn't be stuck in a pattern where they refuse to grow and improve.

Stop talking to her completely. Start hanging out with other people. It's a quiet way of telling her that she had her chance to be your friend and she ruined it. People never realize what they have until it's gone.

Next time she asks to use your stuff, say no. If she asks why, then explain how she never lets you use her stuff. If she uses your stuff without asking, then say, "I didn't give you permission to do that." Don't be rude about it, just be direct. She should get the message.

Don't try and keep up with them. This is a form of using you and is disrespectful. While it may be hard, let go of this friendship and look for someone who doesn't put you through this stress and unhappiness. Letting go will free both of you up to connect with people who are right for you.

You should consider if you want to keep this friendship. Do you think it's a good idea to keep this friend, and does the fact that they do these things bother you? Talk to him/her about it, and if they don't change, stop hanging out with them. Find a different best friend who really cares about you.

Yes. Your friend doesn't respect you; instead of motivating and encouraging you, he degrades you and makes you feel bad about yourself. Don't hang around people like that.

Find a new best friend! You say she protects you from bullies, but she's a bully herself. Start distancing yourself from her, and if she keeps bothering you or tries to hurt you again (or if anyone else does), tell an adult right away. You shouldn't spend time with someone who is physically abusive.

That's hard. Try to find other people outside of school who make you feel good. If you can't, either keep them if you want, or ditch them. Having no friends is better than having bad friends. It's hard, but in the end you'll be happier with your choice.

Sometimes people change, that's all. Maybe she decided she'd rather be "popular" than be friends. If that person has changed for the worst, then maybe it is the end of the friendship. Sad but not unusual in life. Learn from it and cherish what was, while being ready to move to a new stage in your life. Dwelling on it won't help you any.

If you're very self-critical or have low self-esteem (or are just paranoid), you might be inclined to overestimate your own negative traits and think you're a worse friend than you really are. On the other hand, it's also possible that your friends don't want to criticize you and are just trying to be nice. Do you know why your best friend ended your friendship? You could try getting some insight from her. You could also try talking to a parent or trusted adult and getting their perspective on what kind of friend you are. In any case, it never hurts to try to be a better friend and generally be considerate of others.

Needy does not necessarily mean bad friend unless she becomes clingy, too self-centered, and makes the friendship all about her.

If the person never admits their part, and always using you, then that's the sign of a toxic friend. Remember you deserve better and don't continue to stay with some one who uses you. However, do be sure to consider how you may have contributed to the problem relationship too.

Then the friendship isn't good for either of you. You have to decide whether you two can work it out, or you're better off separating. We are all just humans. Just apologize and try to be a better person.

Just speak up. Calmly and politely tell your friend that you don't appreciate being treated like a child. Tell him/her specifically what they're doing that you don't like. Tell them if they continue treating you this way, you won't want to spend time with them anymore.

It depends on the situation a lot of the time, but most often the answer is yes. A relationship is a two way street that needs maintenance and work to be kept alive. Depending on your time of life too, if you're going through rapid transitions (teen years, marriage, having a baby, middle age crisis, being ill), then you may see your existing friendships in a new and different light and feel they are wanting.

Confront her. If she is a good enough friend, she'll apologize or acknowledge that she is making you uncomfortable. Remember: you don't have to try to impress anyone.

It may be because the person's attention is more divided around other people. If they seem to ignore you in favor of other friends, they might think you give them a bad image. If that's the case, they're a bad friend. You should talk to them about this. It may be best to let the friendship go.

Provide your friend with examples. For instance, if she lied to you, betrayed you, disrespected you, or manipulated you, bring up specific instances. Then just tell her that she must treat you better if she wants the friendship to continue. If you just want to end it, give her the examples and then just say, "That is why I can't be friends with you anymore."

Maybe your friend isn't a really nice person. Remember, your first impression isn't the real you. So your friend might just be acting nice around you and mean around others. Observe him/her around other people. Is he/she nice? If no, then your other friends are right. If yes, then it might just be an misunderstanding or even some jealousies.

Let her/him know that you want to stay away. Telling them now is better than them finding out about it later from others.

If she does not respect your beliefs, then yes, she is a bad friend. It is important to be friends with someone who respects your beliefs and makes you feel safe. However, if you don't feel safe, that's possibly for some other reason, so don't confuse the issues.

If they are actually unable to help you out, but have tried or would like to, no. If they just don't care, yes.

It sounds like it, yes. Your friend doesn't really seem to be sorry for insulting you, which implies that they're not really the kind of friend you'd want to have around. Try your very best to move away from that friend and make new friends that are positive and kind.

Is she maybe just teasing you in a friendly manner? Either way, you should talk it over with her and tell her she hurts your feelings sometimes. Tell her specifically what you'd like her to stop doing. If her behavior doesn't change, it might be necessary to end the friendship. It's too stressful to constantly wonder how someone is going to behave/react that day.

Maybe she's jealous of you spending time with other friends. Try talking to her about this. Say something like, "It seems like you don't really want to spend time with me unless I'm busy with other people. Why is that?" See what she says, hopefully you can resolve the situation through communication.

Tell your friend how you feel and that you are doing your best. It sounds like she might be trying to get you to just give her the answers instead of doing the work herself, so make sure you don't let her manipulate you into doing this.

Talk to them or don't hang out with them and find a new study partner. If they keep doing it, they obviously don't want to study with you.

Act as if they are any other stranger. It will be difficult, but just try to act as if they are just a face in the crowd. Ignore them, if you can, and avoid interacting with them.

Decide whether she says it all the time or is it just a one time thing? If she really insults you so badly and thinks that you will still be her friend, then she's wrong.