Q&A for How to Identify a False Friend

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  • Question
    How do you avoid fake friends?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    Become a better judge of character. Pay more attention to their sincerity, true interest in you, and their ability to put the friendship above their own personal needs.
  • Question
    How can you know if someone is a true friend?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    You can pay more attention. Does the other person show a sincere interest in you? Is conversation shared back and forth? Are they there for you when you are upset or in need?
  • Question
    What does a fake friend mean?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    A fake friend like to hang out but wants all the attention on them, their interests, and their needs. When you need something or want to go somewhere, they aren't usually willing to put themselves out.
  • Question
    Who is a real friend?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    A real friend is someone who is your friend in good times, hard times, and also bad times. It is someone who accepts you, encourages you, and believes in you. It is someone who gives you honest feedback but respects you to make your own decisions. It is also someone who accepts your other friends and family.
  • Question
    How can you avoid talking to a fake friend if you see them all the time and work with them?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    You can't avoid talking altogether if you work together, but you can limit the conversation to work-related topics. You don't have to "take the bait" if they ask about very personal things. You also don't have to encourage their over-focus on themselves; limit your own follow-up questions.
  • Question
    What if a true friend is friends with my false friend?
    Klare Heston, LCSW
    Licensed Social Worker
    Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).
    Licensed Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    You cannot control others. It will be up to your true friend to figure out if your false friend is also her false friend or not. Try to limit the amount of time you spend with the two of them together.
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