Q&A for How to Kick People out Politely

Try giving them some non-verbal cues! You might start cleaning up and putting things away, and see if they get the hint. If they still don't leave, make a polite but firm statement like "Oh, I have plans tomorrow" or "I'm really tired. It's been a long day, and I'm going to head to bed soon."

Yes, great ideas! Turn off the music, turn on the lights, start putting up the chairs, sweep the floor, stop serving drinks, hand out their coats, it all helps.

You could back out of the plan by saying you to need to celebrate a different day due to a schedule conflict. Then have your best friend also cancel. Reschedule a different day with just the two of you. Be aware that the other friend will probably find out and be very hurt. The other (nicer) option would be to just follow through, because you already agreed to those plans and it really isn't nice for that third person to get pushed out of something you already all agreed to. Just don't plan a shared party with this person in the future.

Turn off the music, turn on the lights, start putting up chairs, take their table and chairs away, start sweeping the floor. Stop serving drinks. Hand out coats if they checked them. Politely remind them that it is time to leave, offer to call a taxi. If all else fails, you can always call the police for assistance, or building security if present.

If you don't feel that you can be honest, say you don't feel well and have your parents send him home, or ask if he will go home if no one else is there. Don't be afraid to say if something is making you uncomfortable.

Then it is probable he is being a boor -- he has noticed the need to end things but has decided he doesn't want to go. As such, you come straight out and tell him: "Can you please let me be alone for some time I need some personal time it's not you, I just feel like being alone right now".

There is always a reason, it just may not be one you find just, appropriate or considerate. You can ask them for the reason and then, if it seems worthwhile, explain why you don't find their reason reasonable. However, this needs to be balanced with the fact that a person has a right to ask people to leave their own premises for reasons of their own. Sometimes people are tired, don't forget that! If they continue to be unreasonable, don't visit them again, they're not worth your time and effort.

If you know that a person often engages you in dull conversation, do your best to avoid them. If they corner you and start talking, smile and nod politely, and make an excuse at your earliest convenience, like you have to catch the bus or visit a sick relative.

At some point, you're going to have to toughen up. Interrupt them continuously, "Stop talking, I asked you to leave; no, stop talking, I asked you to leave.". At a party or event, you can get security or even the police to escort them out, or ask a few of the other guests to respectfully eject them from the location. At home, an invitation is only valid as long as it is not changed. I.e. as soon as you have expressed that their presence is no longer wanted, attendees are legally obligated to leave and you can force this, preferably with police assistance.

Ask a parent to intervene. If they won't, just ignore her. Put on your headphones and listen to music, read a book, etc. She's probably doing it to annoy you and if you act like it isn't bothering you, she'll get bored and leave.

You have to confront him sooner or later. Tell him this arrangement always was temporary, and it needs to end soon. Agree on a no-later-than date, and stick to it. Remind him that you value your friendship, but tell him you feel like he's invading your personal space. Try helping him find a good solution.

Make it very clear that there are boundaries she cannot cross without permission. It sounds like she's being social, nice and polite by stopping by. You can let her know that every day from 4:00 - 6:00 PM you are doing homework and prefer to not be disturbed, but you enjoy her company and hope she drops by after 6:00 PM. If she comes by, she must knock, and must go away if you say it's not a convenient time.

Tell your father that you would prefer to be alone and ask if he would mind giving you some time to yourself for awhile.

It's your house; friends and family are welcome to stay if you agreed to it, and when they've overstayed their welcome, it's time for you to defend your boundaries and ask them to leave. Sure, it's no fun, not for you and not for them. But honestly, they should apologize to you for putting you in this awkward position of forcing you to kick them out. In short, don't worry; their feelings will pass.

Unfortunately, there is much that you yourself can do. It is simply not your place to ask them to leave. I can see two things that you can do to try and get things moving in your direction. First, you can retreat to your own room and demand that everyone respect your privacy: no entering, no talking through the door, no knocking on the door, nothing. Second, talk to your parents in private. Let them know how you feel, and ask if they can tell you when this situation will be resolved. If they know how you feel, perhaps it's a good argument for them to tell those people it's time to go.

It's a really good quality in a friend, that she just pops by; it means she wants to put in the effort to be a good friend to you. Whatever you do, do not quash this initiative. Tell her you love these little unannounced visits, that it makes you feel like you two are good friends, but that it's not always a good time and that you would like it even more if she called up ahead just to check if it's a good time. That way, at least you can get dressed and clean up some pizza boxes.

Try to make up an excuse like: I have home works to do or I have to go to take a bath.

Tell her you have a doctor's appointment early the next day and you need to get plenty of rest.

You could try saying something like: "It's been nice to see you here but unfortunately I cannot have a guest stay more than one week and my landlord is now threatening to evict me if you continue to stay here. Since that means neither of us will have a place to stay, I need you to move out today." You can also try helping your friend to find somewhere else to go. Remind them gently that you only thought they'd be there for a short time.

Just say no. You can express yourself clearly here to explain what is upsetting you, so tell her the same thing for real. For example, you might say: "I am not happy paying for you and lending you everything. I only have enough money for me and while I don't mind sharing sometimes, I cannot afford to do this all the time. Also, I don't like how you keep borrowing my things because it means I don't have them when I need them. Can we sort out a fairer arrangement from now onward?". If she refuses to meet you halfway, then just refuse to give the money or your things to her a few times, so she gets the message.

One way to do this is to set an end date: "I love your friendship; let's eat together today, but starting tomorrow, you're on your own for meals." Figure out if something else is going on. If she's too poor to afford food but too proud to admit it, try finding a solution without forcing a confrontation. For example, cook dinner, let her eat with you, and give her an extra portion to take home for tomorrow night. Or sit down to help her work out a long-term solution, like how to ask for a raise at work. If she's just using your kindness so she can afford a trip to Florida, though, end this quickly.

Welcome her, make some time. She's your friend, after all. If she's going through a difficult period, it's your job as her friend to take care of her a little. But also say she's welcome to come back in three days, because tomorrow and the day after you can't be there and won't have time.

The key is to both be welcoming and ask her to not come over as often at the same time. When she comes over, welcome her, hugs and kisses, the works. Drink tea together, and let her know she can stay the night if necessary. Your house is open to her whenever she needs it. You're friends, after all. But also say that it will not be possible to stay tomorrow night, or for her to come over after Wednesday, because you're not free and can't make time, but she's welcome again next week. Let her know you're willing to help think about solutions to her problems, too.

It seems to me that these two support groups have the wrong cut-off line? You can't provide support up to the death, then kick the parents out once their child has passed. Instead, I would work with a limited number of places and provide perimortem support, i.e. before, during as well as after the death of the child. You could politely say that this is not your expertise, but for the death of a child to be a disqualifying element in membership seems to me to miss a lot of points.

You cannot "make" people do things like stay in one spot unless you're a prison guard of some sort! Presumably your home is run democratically, meaning people are free to make up their own minds which rooms they inhabit, so herding them into a room and telling them to stay there is not appropriate. The approach needs to be turned around to you, not them. As in, you tell family members to stay out of your room when you're in as you need privacy (for study, for relaxation, for having someone visit, etc.). Put a sign on the door asking them not to disturb you and maybe a lock.

The best approach is kind honesty. You could try something like: "Betty, I partnered with you last time and I didn't feel it worked that well because we know the same things whereas these projects need us to pair with someone who knows things we don't know so we cover the whole topic fully. How about you go with Goran and I'll go with Viti so we get great marks in each of our projects this time? Thanks for understanding!" If you like this person outside of group work, offer to catch up for lunch later.

Don't host sleepovers for your other friends for a while. If the person in question asks when the next sleepover is, tell them that your parents have not given you permission. Politely drift away from the topic. Then, resume the sleepovers without informing her and if she asks, just say the truth, that you don't feel close enough to them anymore.

Just talk to her and tell her that you have things to do. Say that you really appreciate her company, but that you need some privacy and some time to focus. If she really is a friend, she will understand. Otherwise, just don't let her come into your place at all: try saying that your parents are not okay with it or that you have something to do.

Try talking to them first, be polite and address the issues you're noticing. Also, are they paying for rent, or are they guests of your friend? If they are not paying rent, talk to your roommate about those things and say that you are not okay with the situation. You have every right to kick them out, the house is yours as well. Also, if they are guests, tell your roommate that s/he has to clean and organize after them. If they are paying rent you can't really kick them out, but try to ask to fix those problems.

Everybody loves it when people are respectful to others. If they are asking you to leave, just have good sportsmanship and leave. They may want you to come back sometime.