Q&A for How to Know if You're Being Used for Sex

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  • Question
    How can I stop being used for sex?
    Crista Beck
    Dating Coach & Matchmaker
    Crista Beck is a Dating and Relationship Coach and Matchmaker. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in helping people become open to love and find a partner. Crista has been featured in numerous media sources such as ABC, NBC, Fox, and TEDx. She is also the author of the book, Break The Glass Slipper: Free Yourself from Fairy Tale Fantasies and Find True Love in Real Life. Crista holds a BS in Communication Studies with a focus on Interpersonal Communication from The University of Texas at Austin.
    Dating Coach & Matchmaker
    Expert Answer
    Remember—no one can use you without your permission. If you don't like how you're being treated, you can leave at any time and decline to participate in stuff. If you're looking for a relationship, you deserve to be with someone who invests in you.
  • Question
    I'm a teenage girl and my boyfriend is almost always sexual. Is it just his hormones? Or is he only interested in one thing? He compliments me, but I feel unsure.
    Sarah Battilana
    Community Answer
    Hormones definitely play a big part in how teenagers interact with each other, but if you feel like he is mainly interested in sex, trust your gut! See how he responds if you tell him you aren't in the mood to fool around. Also, see how he acts when you try to talk to him about your daily life--if the conversation or situation always turns sexual, that is a big sign. You could try talking to him about the imbalance you sense to deepen your connection.
  • Question
    How do you know if a guy is using you for your body?
    Drew Hawkins1
    Community Answer
    Try taking a look at your interactions with him. If he texts you or calls you only late at night or when he's been drinking, it could be because he only wants to use you for sex. If he doesn't want to go out for dates and prefers to stay at home, it may not be because he wants things to be more romantic. He could be trying to set up a more likely situation where you'll have sex with him. Another clue could be how he communicates with you. If things always seem to take a sexual turn, that most likely means that person has one thing on their mind.
  • Question
    What does intimacy mean to a man?
    Drew Hawkins1
    Community Answer
    It be easy to think that intimacy to a man only means sex. But that's really not true. For instance, a one night stand or a casual hookup doesn't have to be intimate. Sex can be purely physical without any emotional connection. But intimacy requires a deeper connection between people. If you're being intimate with a man, and he's reciprocating, you can trust each other with secrets and personal feelings. Intimacy to a man is like intimacy is to a woman: an interaction built on trust and honest communication. It means deeply knowing another person and feeling like they deeply know you too.
  • Question
    My lover insists on talking about other women while being with me. How do I fix it?
    Lily Sabo
    Community Answer
    You don't deserve that, you are a goddess and deserve to be treated that way. If they want other women, they don't love you like they should. Tell him to cut out that talk or you will go find someone who is willing to love you and only you, if that is what you want. If you are okay with an open relationship, then go for it, but it seems as though you aren't. It is likely that you aren't going to be able to change that, and if they can't see that and respect that, they don't deserve you.
  • Question
    I’m a teenage girl and my older ex-boyfriend would text me about being sexual with me. Is It a problem though because he was pressuring me to think about it?
    Lily Sabo
    Community Answer
    Do you feel the same way? Or, is he really pressuring you to just have sex with him? That is the big difference. And is he interested in other things in your life, or does he just what to have sex with you? It is also good to remember that it takes guys longer to mature than women, so even though he is older, he might not get that sex isn't everything. This is in no way defending him, it is just a distinct possibility. It is really for you to decide if you think he just wants sex, and you shouldn't be with him unless all you want is sex as well.
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