Q&A for How to Leave Your Wife

Every adult is responsible for their own actions. If you feel you must leave your spouse, then you must do so, regardless of how they may react. Don't allow yourself to be blackmailed or guilted into staying in a relationship you no longer want to be in. You can look up some suicide prevention materials, psychological support for your spouse or inform their family of your concerns, but ultimately, it is not your responsibility. If you don't have your best interests in mind, no one does.

Get out as quick as possible. Have reliable witnesses to assist you. Tell a lawyer about this ASAP. Alert the local cops as she may file false reports when you tell them. Keep records of any threatening messages she sends you as well.

It depends on the state you live in and your income vs. hers. In some states, like Florida, if your income is higher than you wife's you have to pay some kind of alimony for a certain period of time.

This is dependent on the judge's reflection of the marriage and the individuals involved. Alimony is based off of which party in the divorce is less fortunate than the other. For example, say your wife makes $140,000 a year as a software engineer while you only make $16 an hour while still in school. She will most likely be ordered to pay you an alimony of whatever the judge thinks is suitable because you have financial needs and she is making substantially more money than you. The worst thing you can do to a judge during the alimony decision is to make a fool of yourself and be stubborn about not paying.

You should talk to your wife and decide together what the best course of action would be. If you and your wife are in agreement about a divorce (or separation), then it will be possible to either get custody or at least visitation rights to your children. Talk with an attorney for specifics related to your case. While your children might be upset initially, they will get used to it, and no real harm should come to them as long as you both continue to love and support them and spend time with them regularly. See How to Deal With Children in a Divorce Situation for tips.

Not necessarily. It means you are taking a break from one another and are not currently living together, but the government still recognizes you as a married couple, so you can still share insurance, etc. Many married couples who have separated have reconciled, often through the assistance of a couples therapist.

Unless you have committed a crime, you need not worry about being arrested. Regarding your job, you may want to inform your boss ahead of time that some issues may arise. Again, unless you've done something wrong, you shouldn't worry. If you're really concerned about possible repercussions, call a lawyer just in case.

Talk to your lawyer about filing a motion to see your wife in court over visitation and joint custody. The judge will reflect on the financial situation of both parties and review the living conditions. If each parent provides a safe living environment and can afford to keep the children safe and healthy, he will most likely go for joint custody. However, if your wife is stubborn and adamant on full custody, you are in for an ugly battle.

Tell her she needs to get a job and start helping you support the family. See if there is someone she can stay with until she gets on her feet. Once she is able to earn a living, she will be better able to support herself.

Children are the legal responsibility of their legal guardians; in most cases, the biological parents. If you have legally accepted responsibility for your stepson, then whether you live with your wife or not, you will be held legally accountable for your share in the care of the stepson. Even if you haven't, you can still request to stay in touch with the child, though if you leave your wife, obviously that will no longer be an everyday thing. In the end, I recommend you think of yourself first. If you want to leave your wife, do so regardless of the consequences you'll solve those along the way. It is never a good idea to stay together if there is no more love.

Do not, under any circumstances, stay with your wife just for the kids' sake. This will ruin the kids, especially if one or both of you takes part in parental alienation. Your kids probably already know about the tension in the house and will feel it is disrespectful of you and your wife to stay together just for them when, in the end, you'll only be modeling exactly how a relationship shouldn't work. They are old enough to understand the concept of divorce, so please file now. You can worry about their welfare later, especially since they are underage and you can ask CPS to make home visits to make sure they are being properly cared for.

No. It will be a shock no matter when you tell them. Why wait? If you've made up your mind, take action. Children need happy parents. If they can't be happy together, then at least be happy by yourself. You need to be in a strong mental, psychological, physical and financial state to be able to provide in a solid upbringing for your children, so get to work on achieving that. Kids are not stupid, they very likely already know way more than you think. They might even be blaming themselves, so you should stop that ASAP.

Seek legal help as there are slander laws that may allow you to press charges or even win a civil suit.

Most likely you are entitled to something, especially if the house has risen in value since the two of you got married, but there are so many factors at play that you would need to consult a lawyer for advice on your individual situation.

It depends on your state, I recommend getting in touch with a divorce lawyer. Unfortunately, if both of your names are on the house, you can't force her to do anything. If she doesn't want to sell the house, she can contest it.

Technically, you don't have to break it to her at all. Breaking up requires nothing but a thought. Once you decided in your head, that's it, then you've broken up and left her. Everything else is practical. You gave her permission to be in a relationship with you, and now you've revoked that. Sure, it's nicer to have a conversation, give some closure, give and get some answers maybe. But you can have someone else handle all that, as well the practical arrangements, or financials. If you want to, sit her down and talk, but you don't have to.

This is... none of your business? Your sibling at the very least is legally obligated to provide for their own children. They have to pay half of what it takes to raise them, and have to spend time to actually do the raising, unless a court takes away their parental rights, but then they'd still have to pay. But it's up to their spouse to take these actions. At best, you can frown upon your sibling. But if they are not doing their legally required things, then sooner or later the law will catch up with them.

Try to talk through it first. Try to see where the unhappiness is stemming from, and try to work it out from there. Maybe she still does love you and isn't necessarily showing it, or she's going through a tough time socially and mentally. If you show that you're there for her, she might open up to you about what's going on.