Q&A for How to Make a Guy Stop Bothering You

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  • Question
    How can I politely get a guy to stop touching me?
    Collette Gee
    Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist
    Collette Gee is a Relationship Coach, Certified Violence Prevention Specialist, the Author of "Finding Happily… No Rules, No Frogs, No Pretending." Focusing on creating meaningful romantic relationships, Collette uses her experience having worked in the mental health industry as a psych nurse to conduct relationship coaching, online courses, and workshops to help women and men find lasting love. Prior to Collette's coaching business, she worked in the mental health field as a psych nurse which has helped inform her practice to create and sustain happy, healthy meaningful romantic relationships. Her work has been featured on TLC, London Live, the Huffington Post, and CNN.
    Relationship Coach & Certified Violence Prevention Specialist
    Expert Answer
    My first suggestion would be to try politely moving his hands away. You can use a firm grip to show him that you're really not interested. If he continues, I would recommend that you walk away from the area. Try to find a space with more women in it since he'll be less likely to follow and bother you more.
  • Question
    This guy acts like he owns me. I have tried everything and even talked to my school counselor about it. I've been trying to get help for 2 years. What can I do?
    Tasha Rube, LMSW
    Licensed Master Social Worker
    Tasha Rube is a Licensed Social Worker based in Kansas City, Kansas. Tasha is affiliated with the Dwight D. Eisenhower VA Medical Center in Leavenworth, Kansas. She received her Masters of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Missouri in 2014.
    Licensed Master Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    Contact your local police department or call 911 to place a restraining order on this person.
  • Question
    None of these worked and I have tried everything. What else can I do?
    Tasha Rube, LMSW
    Licensed Master Social Worker
    Tasha Rube is a Licensed Social Worker based in Kansas City, Kansas. Tasha is affiliated with the Dwight D. Eisenhower VA Medical Center in Leavenworth, Kansas. She received her Masters of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Missouri in 2014.
    Licensed Master Social Worker
    Expert Answer
    If you are feeling threatened in any way, then you need to call 911, or head to your nearest police station or emergency department. You can place a restraining order on the individual who you suspect is harassing or stalking you.
  • Question
    A guy likes me, but I don't like him. He got my mom's number and is harassing me. What should I do?
    Potterhead Girlツ
    Community Answer
    That is dangerous. Talk immediately to your mom, and if she doesn't care, get help from a counselor or the police. Don't keep your mouth shut.
  • Question
    How do I clarify to my ex that I no longer feel the same way without hurting him any further?
    Community Answer
    A mature face to face conversation, with a friend present for support is the only way without creating any conflict. Ask questions, and share your concerns, thoughts, and feelings. It may be difficult or awkward but you have to be direct. There's probably no way to continue the relationship as friends. Cut all ties after the conversation.
  • Question
    What can I do if a guy is trying to force me to like him?
    Community Answer
    If you do not think he is dangerous, be upfront that you are not interested and try to cut off contact with him. However, if you suspect this guy may be dangerous, be polite but do not flirt with him. Consider getting someone else to talk to him.
  • Question
    How can I get a guy to stop following me?
    Community Answer
    Tell him that it makes you feel uncomfortable and you are not really interested in him. If he has become a real pest, tell him that if he doesn't stop, you'll alert the authorities.
  • Question
    There is a boy in my school who likes me, but treats me wrong. For example, he throws stuff at me. What should I do?
    Community Answer
    Tell him that you do not appreciate his behavior toward you. If the problem persists, report him to a teacher or an adult you trust.
  • Question
    What should I do if one of my Instagram followers, an adult man, has come to my (a teenage girl's) home to take me away?
    Community Answer
    Call the police right away and file a restraining order. Take this seriously. After you've filed the report, block him on Instagram, and delete whatever you've posted that reveals your identity (how he found you). Be very careful in the future about posting personal information.
  • Question
    I met a guy through Facebook, and after few months he proposed me. I don't love him. Now he is forcing me to talk with him. How can I avoid him without hurting him?
    Community Answer
    Say I'm not interested in having a relationship with you but we can be friends.
  • Question
    What should I do if I was the one who provoked the guy who bothered me?
    Community Answer
    Let him know that you didn’t mean to send mixed signals, but that you aren't interested in talking to him. If he bothers you and won’t stop, then block him or quit talking to him.
  • Question
    How do I get an obsessed guy to stop bothering me?
    Community Answer
    Tell him that he's bothering you and ask him to stop. If he continues, ignore him. If you're a kid/teen, tell an adult what's going on, and if you're an adult, consider filing a restraining order.
  • Question
    What do I do if I don't like someone when they like me?
    Community Answer
    Be honest with them and tell them that, politely. If they continue bothering you after you've told them, tell an adult, or try some of the tips in the article.
  • Question
    What should I do if the guy bothered me because I bothered him?
    Community Answer
    Apologize if need be, but let him know you sent the wrong signal to him and now feel uncomfortable. Stop talking to him. If you know you bothered him first, then move on. Hopefully he’ll take the hint.
  • Question
    How do I stop a guy from messaging me all the time?
    Community Answer
    Tell him firmly and directly that you want him to stop messaging you (or stop messaging you all the time). If he refuses to do as you ask, block him.
  • Question
    How do I deal with a relative that won't leave me alone?
    Community Answer
    Ask them politely to please give you some space. If they refuse, start avoiding them entirely. If you're a kid/teen, tell an adult.
  • Question
    I think this boy likes me, but he is really annoying and follows me around all day. He mocks whatever I say. How can I get him to stop bothering me?
    Community Answer
    Tell him directly that you want him to leave you alone and stop following you around or talking to you. If he doesn't stop, tell a teacher, parent, or another trusted adult.
  • Question
    How do I make someone stop liking me if I don't like them?
    Community Answer
    You can't force anyone to stop liking you. If you don't like them, simply sit them down and tell them politely that you're not interested in them romantically. If they're bothering you, tell an adult.
  • Question
    How do I get a guy who's married to stop messaging me without being mean?
    Community Answer
    Tell him politely that you're not interested in any kind of relationship with a married man, and that he's making you uncomfortable. If he continues or the situation escalates, threaten to contact his wife.
  • Question
    How do I get my friend to stop liking me and talking about sex? He is obsessed about trying to date me and goes on about sex this, sex that when it's bothering me!
    Community Answer
    Just tell him you don't like talking about sex, that you find it uninteresting and tiresome to talk about it. If he insists it's normal or whatever, tell him you don't disagree with his point of view but that you don't want to be the person he talks about this with. As for getting him to stop liking you "like that," remind him you're friends and that's how you continue to see the two of you into the future and that nothing's going to change that because you only see him as a friend.
  • Question
    What do I do if a guy is blackmailing me with pictures I sent him after I blocked him?
    Community Answer
    Cut contact with the guy and talk to a person of authority that you trust. Even if he reveals the pictures to the public, the people you love won't look at them anyway. Staying in an unsafe situation because of your pride isn't the right thing. Just make wiser choices in the future about what you send, knowing it lasts forever, and get away from him.
  • Question
    What do I do if I'm ignoring a guy and they're harassing me?
    Community Answer
    If you're a kid/teen, tell a teacher and your parents. If they're harassing you by text or social media, block them. If you're an adult, you should also block them, and if they're harassing you in person, tell them if they don't leave you alone you're going to call the police. Then follow up with the threat if needed.
  • Question
    How do I deal with someone who is bothering me and the person I'm in a relationship with? How do I tell them to leave us alone?
    Community Answer
    Perhaps tell them to leave you and your partner alone politely and if they don’t (if you are a kid/teen), then tell an adult. If you are an adult and they continue to bother you, threaten them with the police, then if needed, follow through with the threat.
  • Question
    How can I get a boy to stop following me?
    Community Answer
    Persistently following someone is stalking. It's a crime. Tell him to stop. If he refuses, notify authorities so they can deal with him.
  • Question
    This guy keeps annoying me and stalking me. I don’t know what to do.
    Audrey
    Community Answer
    Tell him to leave you alone in a firm voice. If he keeps harassing you, leave and contact authorities.
  • Question
    What if you are not bold enough to speak to the guy?
    Audrey
    Community Answer
    Being nervous because you haven't experienced this before is understandable. However, you have to stand up for yourself when someone is bothering you. If you want him to leave you alone, you have to communicate this clearly.
  • Question
    A guy I know has autism. He blows up my phone and hugs me constantly. I’m not sure if he sees me as a friend (though I barely know him) or if he has a crush on me. It’s making me uncomfortable.
    Audrey
    Community Answer
    Try to tell the guy nicely that he is making you uncomfortable. If he doesn't listen, you have to be firmer.
  • Question
    A toxic boy who used to be sweet tried to play me. The only reason I didn't fall for it is because I refused to date them. Now he considers me his best friend. It's tempting but I don't want to be hurt. What do I do now?
    Audrey
    Community Answer
    Tell him to politely leave you alone and that you two are not best friends. If he won't leave you alone, tell a trusted adult, like a parent.
  • Question
    How do I make my boyfriend stop touching me inappropriately?
    Audrey
    Community Answer
    Raise your voice and yell "Stop" and talk to a trusted adult about the situation. Break up with him, because if any guy does that to you, they don't deserve you.
  • Question
    If a man keeps lying to me and trying to get me put out lying saying I'm doing drugs when I'm not, how can I get him to leave me alone?
    Audrey
    Community Answer
    Tell the man that what he is saying is false, and tell him to stop and try to avoid him. No one should make up ridiculous lies like that about you.
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