Q&A for How to Mingle With People

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  • Question
    How can I look friendly?
    Cher Gopman
    Dating Coach
    Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Make sure that you have a warm and inviting smile and make eye contact with people when you're talking with them.
  • Question
    How can I get people to like me?
    Cher Gopman
    Dating Coach
    Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Be genuinely interested in what they're saying and ask follow-up questions to learn more about them.
  • Question
    I struggle with mingling because people around me seem to be busy and not interested in connecting. What can I do?
    Community Answer
    Your perceptions of the people around you may be legitimate or they may be distorted. Either way, it's best to "fake it till you make it." In other words, regardless of how people seem disposed toward you, act as though you're interested in THEM. Be the initiator: smile, ask questions about their lives, offer a sincere compliment. Pretend to be ease in the conversation even if you're not. Most people will become interested in you if you show you're interested in them.
  • Question
    What do I do? I don't know how to talk with boys or girls. I never know what to say, and when I meet a friend, I don't know how to start the conversation.
    Community Answer
    Ask them about themselves. People love to talk about themselves. Comment on her earrings or on his new bicycle, or say something about the weather. Ask them where they're coming from or where they're going. Ask how their day has been so far. These are easy ways to break the ice, and they will probably ask you questions in return, and then you can answer them.
  • Question
    How do I talk to others without making a mistake?
    Community Answer
    Obsessing about mistakes can damage your mood and self-esteem. Really, most people barely notice someone who stutters or does something embarrassing. Soothe your social anxiety by maintaining an uplifting mindset, finding supportive peers and gradually stepping out of your comfort zone. Professionals can help you minimize these feelings as well. As for conversational experience - start with little things you're comfortable with. You'll get more confident the more you try.
  • Question
    How can one have a rational conversation with a liberal/leftist?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    It sounds like you yourself need to get a bit smarter: why are all people with liberal views irrational? Because their view is not your view? A debate is not a fight that's only won when you've beaten the other to death and twisted their arm until they finally give up their views to join yours. You both calmly and wisely present and defend your arguments, discussing the merits and faults of each argument, and learning the insights from the other person. If in the end you both stick with your own view, that's fine, as long as you have learned something.
  • Question
    Almost two semesters are over still I can't mingle with my classmates. What should I do?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Talk to just one or two people, say hi, introduce yourself, listen to them. Let them know directly that you feel bad for still not having many friends and you're interested in just doing some fun stuff and hanging out.
  • Question
    How do I get the courage to walk up to a guy and ask him out?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Maybe asking him out is a few steps too far, for now. It's likely that you do have enough courage to go up to him and just say hi. Better yet, stand with him in a group and introduce yourself. Reach out your hand and say your name. If you already know him, and have talked before, then you could indeed just go up to him and ask him out. To do so, take three steps in his direction. It really does work. It commits you to it, because he'll have seen it.
  • Question
    How to talk with people who underestimate me and treat me as fool who doesn't know anything?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Start by simply saying hi. Have a small conversation. Usually, this is enough to get a better understanding of people. If they still think you're a fool, talk to other people. But more likely they will see you're not and their behavior toward you will change. Give them a chance to get to know you better.
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