Q&A for How to Perform an Intervention

I think you need to start by finding some love and compassion for your daughter in law. Your son is married to her and this sounds like something they are going to have to want to do together. You could sit them both down and tell them that you'd like to help them get into rehab. You may have to separate yourself from them until they are ready to get help. Going to AA meetings may help you.

Let them. It's their life, their choices, their decisions. If they are not on board for their own self-preservation and healing, then chances are they won't be willing to commit.

If the person hates you and everyone else trying to perform the intervention, he will not listen or care what anyone has to say. Don't waste your time.

Yes, hiring the services of a professional specialist does indeed cost money. If you're not sure who to hire, ask yourself what, specifically, you expect this person to do and go from there. You can contact support groups, your doctor or even a hospital near you to ask for information or a referral to a specialist, whom you then contact and see if you can agree on a price.

Before it's determined he has mental health problems, a medical diagnosis must take place, and you are not qualified to do that. You're breaking his trust in his parents by declaring him mentally ill without a proper diagnosis, no matter how sure you may be. Avoid conflict, show you trust him love him and care for him, be on the same team. Talk to him about why you feel this way, ask him which ways he sees that could resolve this. Treatment may be necessary, but there may be other ways. And treatment really only works if he wants it to work.

The tips in the article are really helpful to deal with this kind of person as well. If you can't reach a solution, consider getting professional help from a counselor or psychologist.

Addiction is almost a physical need for a substance. So, if a person becomes antsy or uncomfortable when deprived of a substance for more than an hour or so, he or she may be addicted. If the discomfort progresses into symptoms of illness, then the person is definitely addicted, and it's quite serious.

For publicly funded treatment centers, the cost is typically $40 per day for Alberta residents. Out of province rates vary and can be up to $150 per day. Private treatment centers can cost $8,000-15,000 per month.

Choose a strong person that won't falter. It should be someone who stays focused and can keep order in the group. Everyone needs to say what they feel and have it written out in advance so all can lay their cards on the table and not be afraid to tell the truth.

You need to involve others; it's not an intervention if you do it alone. Make sure he knows you are not there to make him lose face, he must see a way out that he can take by himself. Don't say "you are wrong", say "I don't understand why you decide this or that". It will make him feel that he is still in control of things rather than just swallowing what you're force-feeding him. Financial struggles are the simplest to solve: he must earn more than he spends. Loneliness will go away once the depression is solved, which is done by identifying the things that depress him, and resolving those.

If you're okay with him coming in that condition, sure. But if that's not what you want, feel free to say so and enforce that rule.

Your son is a grown man, and you can't tell grown folks what to do. If hes living at your home, then tell him he's way overdue on paying his way, and he needs to find another place to live. Use tough love and try to get him to stand on his own two feet.

Go to the courts and get custody of them. Otherwise it's only a matter of time before Child Protection Services is called, and then they become a ward of the courts, where they could end up in foster care until they're 18.

As a parent, you have the legal obligation to provide for your children until they reach the age of 18. In other words, you are free to kick him out. Instead of doing this abruptly, you could consider agreeing on a date: "Before the first of October, you have to find a place, because come that day, you can't live here anymore." Even though you clearly see he has a problem, it is not possible to help him unless he realizes he needs help in the first place. That's the first step, and without it, there's little you can do. Don't give him money, though.

I think you should ask yourself if your truly fed up with the situation and if it seems like he won't change then maybe consider leaving, intervention can only do so much.

No, absolutely not. If you can see someone having trouble, by standing and watching them you are ruining their life right along with them. Quite often when an intervention is needed, the person is unable to make the conscious decision to stop and they need someone to push them in the right direction. If you can help them, you should do it, even if there's nothing in it for you.

A group setting is not the best for interventions; it can lead to them each feeling ashamed about their actions and closing inward while not accepting help. Try to talk to each of them individually, as a one-on-one is the best way to approach this.

No, because interventions and their necessity varies widely depending on what the intervention is about. It is too open for interpretation.

Shaming should not be a part of intervention. It makes the person feel isolated and alone, drawing inward and not seeking help in fixing issues.

As many times as you feel. There is no number that is right. If you feel the person can change and want to help, try as many times as you can. Although you must remember, people don't change until/unless they want to.

Typically an intervention includes a group of participants surprising and confronting a loved one with accusations and a litany of how the loved one has hurt them all in an effort to guilt the addicted party into going to rehab. There is a popular alternative to this approach called CRAFT. Community Reinforcement and Family Training. This method, to summarize, puts the focus on empathizing with the addicted party, and encouraging them to seek help while standing by them and helping them take the first steps.