Q&A for How to Pretend to Be Happy

If you pretend to be happy you might brighten someone's day if they're otherwise going through hardship, such as when caring for a terminally ill family member. If you pretend to be happy, you might actually end up feeling happy and attract authentic happiness. The problem you might be having is that you are viewing this as a static state, an "all-the-time" thing, which is not what is meant. On occasion, it can be useful to pretend that you're happy. To do so all the time daily would be soul-destroying and unrealistic, so it's not about constant pretense, just about those times when a little faked happiness could improve things temporarily.

The trick is to use your eyes. When a person genuinely smiles, their eyes kinda squint a bit. Since this happens as well when you laugh, try fake laughing in front of the mirror. However, you might consider talking to your friends about why you're not happy, it might make you feel better.

Sometimes yes, sometimes not. If you're very depressed, you should seek help instead of just pretending to be happy, but if you're just having a bad day, pretending might cheer you up and help avoid unnecessary conflicts.

In this case you are allowed to be upset, however you should also try to be happy for the other person. Congratulate the person publicly, but feel free to complain in private to a trusted friend or vent your feelings in a journal. Remember, this is a disappointment, but there will be other opportunities.

You can't predict whether people will catch on or not. The important part is that you're there for your family on some level.

Try to talk to them, and share what's bothering you. It's much better for you, both mentally and physically, to express your feelings rather than keeping them bottled up inside.

Not necessarily, people tend to be attracted to happy and positive people, but you shouldn't have to fake it all the time. People who care for you want to know if you are unhappy so they can help.

Try to solve your problems and sort out your life. Acting happy won't work in the long run. Talk to someone about what makes you sad.

You should talk to someone about it. Maybe that will help.

Let yourself experience sadness. This is okay. We all wish we didn't go through grief, but we do, and sometimes it takes a year to get over a relationship like this. You can listen to music, write in a journal, create a piece of art, or do something else creative to express your sadness. Pour yourself into this project, and when it is done, you will feel better. Time heals all wounds.

Examine every little thing that causes tension, and find a way to defuse it. Before you know, you'll see progress. It's quite normal what you're feeling. We're all experiencing tensions and figuring out how to resolve each separate piece of it.

That means they are your real friend. Only true friends can understand what's going on in your mind. It may be best to open up about what is making you upset to them.

Of course, deep down, we all want everyone to be happy, including ourselves. But you don't have to be happy, and it's OK if you're not. When you have more sad days than happy days, or the difference between highs and lows is stark, or you switch often, or you stay low for a long time, or basically anytime you feel like it, talk to someone you trust.

Don't tell anyone, and definitely don't tell everyone, just tell someone. Depression is a multi-faceted beast that creeps up in so many parts of life, and you need to do something about it on every front where it creeps up. Fortunately, the way to do that is the same on every front - talk. At least talk to yourself, aka 'be honest with yourself'. Find one person you trust; if you're a kid or an adolescent, that person should really be an adult, because they've already been through those turbulent hormonal and confusing teenage years. There are so many good techniques to combat depression; it takes time, but many have done it before you.

Of course. Humans are a social species, and if you're feeling alienated, it's entirely normal to feel sad about that. If you have any way to reach out to your community to look for social opportunities, doing so would be advisable - it's very easy to get caught in a cycle of self-pity in isolation, and though it may feel hopeless right now, it's worth making the effort to get connected and meet people.

Yes. Since not all smiles are born out of happiness, you do not need to be happy to be able to smile. You can be sad all day, but see a cute little kid bustling through the puddles of rain on the street, for example, which can give you the involuntary reaction of smiling, which would be genuine.

If you're depressed, the best thing to do is to get treatment, not to pretend you're happy. Talk to someone about how you feel and think about seeing a therapist.

If others are having troubles, they temporarily don't have time or energy to help you out as well. Keep being a friend to your friends and supporting them through their rough times. Also, be extremely careful not to help them just so they can help you. People help each other without expecting anything in return; if you do expect something in return, it comes across as icky, disrespectful and insincere. Finally, don't count on others to make you happy. Identify the obstacles that prevent you from being happy yourself, and resolve those. People will see you're happy and want to be with you.

If you feel numb, it's best not to pretend you're happy. You might be depressed, so look up an article about depression and see if the symptoms seem like what you're going through.

Initiate conversation, talk about all the great things about your day after work or school, etc.

You can be lonely in a crowd and feel loved when you're all alone. Also, making others happy is no guarantee to increase your own happiness. In life we need to find what makes us happy and do more of that. If making others happy does indeed make you happy, keep doing that. In fact, try to always make others happy, just also do what makes you happy. And don't hesitate to ask your friends if what makes you happy is something they can do for you.

If you've been sad for more than a few weeks, you need to go to the doctor and tell him/her what you've been experiencing. You could be depressed and in need of treatment.

This self-hatred may stem from past experiences that have traumatized you, and it is advisable that you see and talk with a therapist to try and resolve these issues. It is not normal to hate everything about yourself, and so as long as you are like this, it is impossible to achieve true happiness. You absolutely do not need to pretend happiness, and this is meant to be for short-term. In your case, this is not what you need since it won't get better until you get help.

You can, but I would not suggest it. A relationship is supposed to make both partners happy, which is the entire point of being in the relationship. If you are unhappy in your relationship, talk to your partner about it. Expressing your concerns to him/her will either end up improving the relationship so that you are happy to be in it, or will show that you are better off not in the relationship.

Tell them you don't want to talk about it right now, but you appreciate their friendship.

Open up your parents. They know something is wrong and they want to help you. Let them.

Emotions sort of 'float' out there like clouds in our lives, and they can rush into us at will. But we are not beach balls caught on the ocean waves; we are tall grass that bends in the wind yet does not break. Just because you feel sad doesn't mean you have to be sad. If someone offers you sushi but you're not hungry, you politely decline; you can do that too when sadness presents itself, or any emotion, for that matter. But just like rain empties out clouds, so do tears empty out sadness.

It's not enough to want to be on top of Everest, you need loads of other things, practical, physical and mental. But the will to be happy shows you that you are at least going in the right direction. Work on many things over a generous amount of time, like two years. Physical fitness, regular sleep, improve your friendships, meet new people, solve some finances or save up some money. When you do enough small things, you will see the overall picture become happier, I promise.

You don't have to; confide in a close friend or someone you trust. If the reason for you're sadness is important and will affect you for a long time, it's better to not pretend because it is hard to act happy for a long time. However, some tips include smiling, enjoying activities with others (people often catch on if you act withdrawn from them) and focusing the conversation on the happiness of others. Just remember than sadness is healthy; everyone feels sad sometimes.

No, you should tell them, when you are ready. It would be wise to speak to a parent about it. They would be able to find the help you need. It is okay to not feel happy all the time, sometimes you feel sad for a while.