Q&A for How to Raise a Theybie

Instead of insisting on a theybie, consider raising your child to not grow up to gendered stereotypes. Explain to him that you want to raise your child to be whoever they want to be.

Explain it to them like you would to any kid, just explain what's happening to their body without implying that the process is specific to gender.

It depends on the context, but generally yes. For example, it would be bad to say something like "pink is for girls and blue is for boys," but it would be okay to say "some girls like blue and some boys like pink."

No, you would just be a nonbinary adult. A theybie is a child or toddler being raised without gender norms.

Rattles, play gyms, music toys, building blocks, bouncy balls, teething rings, etc. are each suitable choices.

Popular gender-neutral names include Alex, Riley, Taylor, Charlie, Bailey, Ash, Ryan, Harper, Finley, Cameron, Quinn, Morgan, Dakota, Aiden, Mason, Oakley, Parker, and Sawyer.

Gender-neutral colors can include purple, green, and yellow, but blue and pink don't have to be considered gendered colors, either! Purple seems to be especially popular due to its mixing of blue and pink, and yellow and purple are two colors featured on the non-binary pride flag. Any shade within the greyscale works just as great also.

The books "I Am Jazz!" by Jessica Herthel, "Sparkle Boy" by Leslie Newman, "My Rainbow," by Trinity Neal, "My Maddy," by Gayle E. Pitman, "All Boys Aren't Blue," by George M. Johnson, and "When Aidan Became a Brother," by Kyle Lukoff are just a few celebratory LGBTQ+ children's books to read your kid.

Try connecting to others on social media groups, like the Raising Theybies group on Facebook. If you know any queer folks or people who raise their children in a gender-neutral way, talk to them.

Ask where they learned it from. Tell your child that being gay or identifying as LGBTQ isn't a sin, there's nothing wrong with it, and is just as normal as being heterosexual/straight.

Maybe stop calling it a theybie. Instead of deciding to raise the child without gender, you could compromise, agreeing to use gendered pronouns for the child but also not pushing them into gendered interests.

Of course you can! Theybie is just a term used by some, just because you raise your child genderless does not mean they have to be a theybie.

Onesies, swaddling blankets, stuffed animals, baby toys, baby sleep soothers, and play mats are all great gifts to suggest for a gender-neutral baby shower.

You may or may not be able to get a nonbinary birth certificate for your baby depending on what state you live in. If you live in California, Colorado, Connecticut, Illinois, Maine, Nevada, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, Oregon, Rhode Island, Utah, or Washington D.C, you may be able to get a nonbinary birth certificate for your baby (as of 2022). Request that the birth certificate is marked as "X" before your baby is born.

When you have to confront someone, remember that it's for your child. Try to role-model strength for your child when you need to do difficult things. Check out the article How to Be Strong for more tips on how to be mentally stronger.

It's a good idea to discuss how you want to raise a baby before pregnancy, but if you are already pregnant, discuss raising a theybie with your partner as soon as possible: this can be at any stage of pregnancy.

Explain that you want to raise your baby in a gender neutral way and want your child to choose how they would like to identify when they get older. You could also mention you would prefer to raise your child and let them make their own choices instead of forcing gender roles and clothing choices based on their sex. If they don’t like the idea of raising a theybie, let them know that the final decision on how to raise the child is yours.