Q&A for How to Resolve a Conflict at Work

It's usually helpful to have a direct conversation with the employee to inquire about their thoughts on the matter. They may not even realize that they are coming off that way, so it's important to avoid being accusatory. If the behavior persists, then you will need to discuss further actions and resolutions.

Come to the discussion with an attitude of openness and non-judgement. Also, avoid being defensive or taking things personally. Try to address the conflicts directly rather than criticizing the people involved.

Talk to someone higher up about your own workload. Make it about you, not them. For example, say, "I have so much work and I'm constantly staying late. I need to cut back, and I need some help splitting my responsibilities with someone else."

Because what might be small or moderate today could potentially be extreme tomorrow. In other words, It might get worse over time. It is true that sometimes things work out on heir own, but Why take that chance? Why wait on resolving a conflict? Better to prevent than lament.

If the entire staff is an issue, consider talking to someone higher up in the company. It may be that he/she is not aware of the issue.

It's a judgment call, but you should go to the place where you think you are more urgently needed. Don't forget which place is more important.

Make him/her happy by completing your duties as required, and then some. After which you can humbly approach him/her when they are not busy and tell them you want to discuss something that bothers you. If you find your boss still will not listen to you, talk to their boss or the human resources department.

Either the mediator and/or the participants can take notes, but all notes should be destroyed (torn up and thrown away or shredded) at the end of the mediation.

Make it clear that it was a misunderstanding and that you're not accusing them of anything. Say, "I'm not sure I did a good job communicating earlier. Let me try again."

Say, "I want to keep my personal life to myself and not share that at work." If you can, wear headphones as a way to interact less with this person.

If you take ownership of the problem and look to address it early in the process, you will have more control over the result of the decision. Allow yourself to take a breath and think how the situation looks from another perspective. The longer you take to resolve the conflict, it tends to escalate. Once the issue goes to your boss, HR, director and so on up the chain of command, the result becomes more arbitrary and judicial. The final decision maker may make a judgement that causes you to lose everything (your job, your reputation, etc.). Think of the lost hours of productivity, sleep and personal satisfaction with your job while you are in conflict.

Maintain a neutral expression when dealing with conflict. Keep your face blank so that your expression cannot be interpreted as angry, upset, condescending, etc. If someone is talking to you, maintain eye contact and nod to show that you're paying attention to them.

You don't have to tell your employer why you are leaving if you don't want to, just send a polite notice letter, and try to say something positive in it (i.e. "I learned a lot in this position, but it's time for me to move on..."). Some places just have a culture that is unhealthy and you have to walk away.

Try the methods in Tolerate a Coworker You Cannot Stand .