Q&A for How to Set a Table for a Tea Party

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  • Question
    Where do I set cutlery on the table?
    Tami Claytor
    Etiquette Coach
    Tami Claytor is an Etiquette Coach, Image Consultant, and the Owner of Always Appropriate Image and Etiquette Consulting in New York, New York. With over 20 years of experience, Tami specializes in teaching etiquette classes to individuals, students, companies, and community organizations. Tami has spent decades studying cultures through her extensive travels across five continents and has created cultural diversity workshops to promote social justice and cross-cultural awareness. She holds a BA in Economics with a concentration in International Relations from Clark University. Tami studied at the Ophelia DeVore School of Charm and the Fashion Institute of Technology, where she earned her Image Consultant Certification.
    Etiquette Coach
    Expert Answer
    Your forks go on the left side of your plate, and your knives and spoons go on the right side.
  • Question
    Can I wear a short black dress to an evening tea party?
    Community Answer
    It is traditionally unacceptable to wear a dress that is less than thigh length, so consider this when deciding on your outfit as to not offend anyone at the tea party.
  • Question
    What do I serve if the tea is mid-morning, like 10:30 to 11:00?
    Community Answer
    Offer toast or other breakfast finger foods, such as biscuits or digestives.
  • Question
    What should I do if I have a 2-year-old, 6-year-old and a 33-year-old?
    THEMAN123456
    Community Answer
    Use a plastic cup or bottle for the toddler. If you think the 6-year-old is ready, then try with a glass cup -but keep a watchful eye on her.
  • Question
    What is the proper spoon for preserves?
    Community Answer
    There are jelly or jam spoons specifically for serving things like preserves, but otherwise you can just use a teaspoon.
  • Question
    How do I use tea strainers?
    Community Answer
    Tea strainers should only be used with tea made from tea leaves. You just need to pour the boiled tea into the tea strainer to strain out the leaves.
  • Question
    What kind of snacks should I put on a 2 tier cookie stand?
    Natalie Mills
    Community Answer
    Make a selection of sandwiches cut into triangles (nicely filled sandwiches make them look prettier) for the bottom layer. For the top, try some Scotch eggs and porkpies cut into quarters, decorated with cherry tomatoes and some rocket leaves.
  • Question
    If I want to have a tea party with my middle school friends, have a dining room table and a buffet as my surface options, how should I plan so that it's not too formal, but still pretty traditional?
    Community Answer
    Use tablecloths, nice china and cutlery to give a sense of tradition but have foods that are fun and current, like cronuts, doughnuts, unicorn cupcakes and Oreo slices. Ask your guests to dress up nicely but still keep their clothes casual. Provide seating in little groupings in different parts of the room, so people can move around and mingle.
  • Question
    How do you ask on an invitation for people not to bring children to a afternoon tea?
    Community Answer
    You could say something like: "Adults only" or say: "Please note that this party is for adults only." Try to say this in the nicest way possible, but be aware as some people may not be able to leave their children with someone else or at home for some reasons.
  • Question
    How do you make a perfect tea party for girls?
    Hevi K.
    Community Answer
    You can use napkins (choose soft, light colors, not too bright), add preserved flowers as decor, make finger goodies (cucumber sandwiches are great), provide a cake, maybe a gateau, or a cheesecake, and any other thing you feel a girl party should include. You should use a 2-tier or 3-tier stand for the finger goodies and other small snacks, and a cake stand for the main dish.
  • Question
    How should I set the table if I only have teacups and saucers, bread plates, and water glasses?
    Hevi K.
    Community Answer
    You can deck up the teacups and saucers with some food-safe paint, or if you have any spare lace, you can put that under the saucer for a more elegant look. Boring bread plates? Not a problem! Whip up a delicious tea party goodie, gather up some pretty looking flowers, press them by laying them inside an open book (make sure it's thick and heavy), close the book, then add more books on top. Wait for a week or 2. Arrange them around the top of your plate. Water glasses are fine. You can use them for a bouquet of lavenders (any lightly scented flower works fine, you can lightly spray fake flowers with air freshener), and you'll have a makeshift vase.
  • Question
    What kind of music can you have at a tea party?
    Community Answer
    Usually the music shouldn't be too distracting or so loud that guests cannot talk with each other. Classical music on a low volume would be generally suitable for a tea party but all genres work (even punk or metal) if you want to have an interesting twist to your party.
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