Q&A for How to Speak Your Mind

The best thing you can do is practice. There's really no good replacement for real-world experience, so just try to start small. Speak up and say what's on your mind during one little interaction. From there, build on that by speaking up more often. It'll get easier over time!

Therapy is very rarely a bad idea, and it's definitely a good way to improve your ability to speak up!

Don't be afraid to speak up in a louder, assertive voice. Just make sure you don't speak too loudly or interrupt other people.

Take time to collect your thoughts and formulate a definitive opinion before expressing it to others. Reflection is an essential part of standing behind the things you say.

There is often a little feeling inside your stomach, head, or heart, just a little ache or something, which will tell you that what you are hearing/seeing is how you really feel. It might be telling you that you don't feel the way others insist you must, or it might be telling you to distrust someone. Or, it might be telling you that you're happy, sad, proud or indifferent. That feeling is your instinct. Always trust your instinct.

Use a loud, clear tone of voice. Speak frankly and truthfully. Maintain eye contact. Don't let them interrupt you. If they do, politely request that they hear you out. Some people try to control the conversations they're in, so you have to be able to get your thoughts out in a firm, assertive (though not confrontational) tone.

Be direct, but introduce the topic with enough forewarning that the person you're talking to can prepare for the conversation. If possible, wait until the subject comes up organically. If it doesn't, open the conversation by saying "let me get your opinion on something" or "there's something I'd like to talk to you about."

The best thing to do is acknowledge that you're going to be a little nervous and just go through with it anyway. Take a deep breath and focus on the message you're trying to deliver, not your own performance. Try to keep from getting distracted by thoughts of failure and embarrassment--these won't help prepare you, they'll just make your anxiety worse. There are also a few public speaking tricks that might be useful for helping you relax a bit. One such trick is to stop thinking about speaking to many different people and simply address the collective audience itself. It's much less nerve-wracking to talk to a room full of listeners if you don't fixate on each one of them individually.

It is not easy to stand up to your parents. Just remember that they love you and usually ask you to do things for your own good. Even chores are good for you, as you learn responsibility. With that, try to negotiate. If they ask you do something, maybe you can ask for something you want instead, i.e. extra TV time, allowance, time with friends. Also, ask for what you want when the time is right; parents are usually stress and tired after work. Ask when things are going well, and when they don't appear to be distracted.

Follow the instructions listed in the article above.

Remember that no matter what, you will always have yourself at the end of the day and keeping your thoughts and feelings bottled away because of fear will bring nothing but stress. Life goes on!

The approach to dominating the conversation will lead to others sensing this and withdrawing because people like conversations where they are not forced to listen and are allowed to express themselves freely. Set your priorities based on freedom. The more amicable you seem and the less threatened you act while talking to others, the more they will reciprocate. Break the stress by not sounding too high-handed or trying to be a know-it-all. Speak in a soft voice first, then move on to a more confident tone. Understand the subject matter from their angle too, so you are prepared with more information and have answers if they have doubts or opinions that you can agree or disagree with in a friendly way.