Q&A for How to Start a Conversation with Your Girlfriend

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  • Question
    What can I chat about with my girlfriend?
    Eddy Baller
    Dating Coach
    Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Asking your girlfriend about her job can be a great way to start a conversation. People usually enjoy talking (or venting) about work.
  • Question
    How can I be confident and sincere?
    Eddy Baller
    Dating Coach
    Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Good eye contact will also help you come across as more confident and attractive. Also, don't forget to smile every once in a while if it feels right for the conversation. Just don't overdo it—smiling too much can come across as insincere
  • Question
    How do I start a conversation over text?
    Cher Gopman
    Dating Coach
    Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Keep what you're talking about fun and light-hearted so your conversation doesn't get boring.
  • Question
    How do I ask my girlfriend if she wants to be together forever?
    Community Answer
    Ask her. Tell her you're really serious about the relationship and committed to her, and ask her if she feels the same way. Unless you've been seeing each other for a long time, you might want to stay away from the word "forever," though. You don't want to scare her off.
  • Question
    She and I didn't have any face-to-face conversations for 2 weeks. Now we meet regularly, but no conversation starts, what do I do? I know she wants to talk, but neither she nor I approaches first.
    Community Answer
    Just talk to her. It's likely she is nervous or something. Start a conversation and then just go from there.
  • Question
    How do I start a conversation in school when we're both shy or don't know what to talk about?
    Community Answer
    Maybe you could congratulate her on a good grade. Then ask her what subject she likes the best and tell her what you like.
  • Question
    I just don't know what to say over the phone. We both want to converse, but we don't always have fun things to talk about. Any advice?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    It's less what you talked about and more that you talked. When you run out of things, end the call. Say you love her, miss her, look forward to seeing her, then end the conversation. You do not have to converse just for the sake of conversation. In fact, if you drag it out endlessly, it will have the opposite effect: you'll be perceived as boring and unimaginative, which she may interpret as, "Oh no, he doesn't love me anymore!" So prepare a few things to say, listen more than you speak, and end it before you run out of things to talk about.
  • Question
    Is it okay to have a girlfriend who's 12 at the age of 15?
    Community Answer
    Twelve is pretty young to date. It would be better, if you really want to date her, if you wait a few years. You'll want to make sure it's okay with her parents if you choose to date now.
  • Question
    It's been almost a year with my girlfriend, but at this point we are facing a serious issue: I don't initiate a conversations often, and she always has to do it. What do I do?
    Community Answer
    This can be a puzzle; if she's always having to initiate the conversations she may feel that you're disinterested, but if she doesn't give you enough of a chance to initiate a conversation, you don't have any opportunity to do so. Decide on a compromise that works for both of you and fits into your schedules; ask her to give you a little more time between conversations to give you a shot at being the one to start. In return, think about conversation-starters yourself. Considering that you've known each other for nearly a year, you should know quite a bit about her interests, family, friends, etc. - asking questions about any of those can get things rolling. Check out wikiHow to Start a Good Conversation for some pointers.
  • Question
    How do I make my girlfriend want me?
    Donagan
    Top Answerer
    You don't. She will want you or not want you based on her own deliberations and impulses. You can make it easier for her to want you, however, by being pleasant, interested and interesting.
  • Question
    I don't know what to say to her?
    Community Answer
    If you want to say something to your crush or girlfriend, make a small plan on how to start a conversation, this means by taking notes on what you could say (Hi, I'm ______. I really like your outfit today! Want to go to the park today?) and you have a clear idea without panicking.
  • Question
    My girlfriend and I never talk in person, we just text a lot, is that a bad thing? How do I fix that?
    Community Answer
    You're both probably just shy, but yes, you should definitely start talking to her in person. It doesn't have to be any different than your text conversations. Say hi. Ask her how her day is going. Talk about whatever you usually talk about over text. It might be a little awkward at first, but it will get easier as you get used to it.
  • Question
    What if we were best friends for 3 years now and now we became something more I feel like we now everything but not deep relationship stuff which is confusing I don’t know how to start conversations
    Community Answer
    Think about what you both have in common, talk about your similar interests, invite her to hangout, do whatever you can. How about you ask her? What have you got to lose? You may even get a relationship out of it.
  • Question
    Been in a relationship for five years now and brought into this world a lovely daughter. How do I keep this relationship on the right track? I feel that sometimes my mistakes push her away.
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Be objective and put things in perspective. Do all your mistakes push her away? That's very unlikely. We all make mistakes, independent of who we are with. Let your girlfriend know that you are trying to avoid making mistakes, but be strong and confident, expect that she knows that you're trying that, and don't take a submissive role. If she says you made a mistake, expect that she knows it's normal.
  • Question
    If my girlfriend and I are shy around each other, what stuff should we talk about? (Please make a list.)
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    You can talk about the weather, your future, your past, your dreams and your problems. Share a joke, an insight or something that happened today. Ask how she feels about the thing you planned this weekend, or what you two read in the news. Get creative, too: "What would happen if the earth were suddenly hollow and we lived on the inside?" Talk about things that interest you--sports, hobbies, collections--or things that interest her. Or that don't interest you or her. Plan a trip to a foreign country. Ask which country she'd never visit and why.
  • Question
    Is it fine to date a girl who is two years older?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    It depends on which two years. If you're sixteen and she's eighteen, it might not even be legal, depending on where you live. But the laws governing age differences are intended for larger age gaps, and sexual predators. A common example is men in their fifties inappropriately interacting with 13-year-old girls. In truth, all that matters is that the girl you want to date also wants to date you. If yes, then yes, it's fine.
  • Question
    What should I not talk about with my girlfriend?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Don't talk about your past girlfriends. Don't talk about other girls you find pretty. Don't talk about sexual fantasies you have about other girls. Don't talk about which of her clothes you find ugly, or what parts of her body you hate. Don't talk about all the mistakes she's made in the past. Don't talk about why you settled for her but could have gotten a prettier girl.
  • Question
    My girlfriend always says negative things about our relationship. What should I do?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Sometimes, when a text is 99% error-free, it can be "fun" to point out the last two spelling mistakes because perfection is so close. So perhaps you two are so good for each other that she's only trying to work out the last kinks. But hey, even then you have the right to let her know this is irritating you somewhat. Ask her to notice and mention some of the good things too from time to time.
  • Question
    I'm in a long-distance relationship, and sometimes I feel like she doesn't love me because she doesn't send texts like she used to. What should I do?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Disconnect what you observe from what you think it means. Just because you think not sending texts means she no longer loves you doesn't mean it actually means that. You can't know what it means until you've talked to her about how you feel. This is how LDRs fail: lack of context - misinterpretation - actions based on misinterpretation - offended feelings - end of relationship. Call her up. Tell her you're worried and miss her, like "Silly me, so worried just because you didn't text me like you used to." Never assume that what you think is true; always ask.
  • Question
    How do I talk to her when we've run out of stories?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Best to stop thinking in terms of "running out of" regarding things to talk about. If you've told every story you know and discussed every topic in the world, you will always run out of things to say. A conversation doesn't have to go on forever, and you don't have to keep it going alone. You can be quiet together, watch TV, listen to her, have tea together. It's OK to even announce how you feel: "Well, that's all the stories I can think of right now, what's up with you? Want some tea?"
  • Question
    How do I tell a girl that I love her?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Wait until it's not news to hear. Say it only when it's confirmation of what she already hoped you're feeling too. Make sure you're sure she feels the same way too, or is at the very least within dashing distance of that goal. If she's feeling love-like feelings and you tell her you love her, that may abruptly mature her love-like feelings into love. But if she's just learned your last name, that's too soon. As to how, why not let the poet inside you write a few lines? On the other hand, the classics are classics for a reason. Make a moment of holding her hands and saying, "I love you."
  • Question
    My and my girlfreind just started dating and we bolth are kinda shy to eachother. How can I start conversation when I am so shy?
    Community Answer
    You could ask her small things like "how was your day?" or ask about her favorite things (ex: favorite colors, seasons, singers, sports teams, etc.). Eventually, you'll find the click and she may open up to you. Have patience; these things take time, especially when you guys are first dating.
  • Question
    I'm a quiet person. I don't know how to start a conversation. We always quarrel about this.
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Take the stress out of it. You having a girlfriend is proof you clearly did manage to start a conversation at least once. Try to change your mindset from 'I am unable' to 'how can I get even better at it'. You may at times not know what to talk to about, but other times you do know. So when you ask yourself 'can I start a conversation?' don't think only about the times when you didn't know. It's useful to include your girl in these thoughts and processes. Remember also that a conversation is between two people, i.e. you only have to be able to start half a conversation. Finally, try making lists. When you think of stuff when she's not there, write them down then bring it up.
  • Question
    I easily run out of words when talking, even when texting. Advice?
    Benjamin Reyes
    Community Answer
    Try to find topics that interest both of you. You could also try talking about the past and seeing if that starts any conversations. When in doubt, ask another question; if you ask about what she said, she'll think you really care about what she has to say.
  • Question
    I and my gf, both meet every day on a video call for 2-3 hours. She always has some interesting things to talk about. But I don't. She often asks me to speak up. Please help me with some tips and starter words?
    Benjamin Reyes
    Community Answer
    As someone in the same situation, I find it helpful to be an attentive listener, ie asking questions and making remarks about what she says. Sometimes this can naturally transition into your own story. In terms of starting a topic yourself, you could start cute traditions like each of you narrating your day to the other, you could talk about a TV show or a hobby that you're invested in, or really anything! Also, throwing out a random compliment never hurts.
  • Question
    I am 17. Is it OK to take my girlfriend on a date?
    NATHANIEL WHORTON
    Community Answer
    Yes, most definitely. She is your girlfriend and she will love that you want to go out on a date with her. In fact it will bring you and her closer together in the relationship if everything goes right. You can either surprise her or ask her, either way she will be so excited.
  • Question
    How do I approach my girlfriend and start up a conversation without being shy?
    NATHANIEL WHORTON
    Community Answer
    Questions are the answer to your problem. Just go up to her and ask questions and she will most likely answer them with long sentences. In this case, just listen. Do not try to solve problems she talks about having unless she asks you to. From those questions, you form a conversation by adding in what you think. You will know she is done when she leaves open silence after talking a lot. If you and she speak at the same time, don't worry, just try to say what you were going to again. And make your point using examples and reasoning so that she can understand. And try questions like: "What do you think about this or that?".
  • Question
    How can I get along with a girlfriend who detests jokes?
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    We all have desires. We want to love someone, tell jokes to someone, be comforted by someone, have adventures with someone, complain about someone to someone else. But that someone doesn't have to be the same person. We need a friend to complain to about our girlfriend, and a girlfriend to complain to about our friend. So with your girlfriend, share the things you both want to share with each other, and satisfy your desire to tell jokes with a friend who enjoys laughing at your jokes and telling you some in return.
  • Question
    How can I start a conversation with my girlfriend the first time we meet?
    Community Answer
    Just say hi. Crack a few jokes here and there and be as polite as possible.
  • Question
    I love my girlfriend so much, we call each other every now and then, and as a man I'm expected to start a conversation. Please assist with interesting things to talk about.
    Community Answer
    Ask her how is she doing, how has her day been or how has work been? If she has a hobby, ask her about it, what she is making or doing? Just show interest in her life generally.
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