Q&A for How to Start a Conversation with a Girl on Instagram

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How many times should I talk to someone online before meeting them?

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

I'd suggest that you have at least 5 conversations online before meeting up with someone. The exception might be if you meet on Tinder or Bumble and there's a crazy immediate connection where the two of you share some mutual interest, but in general, you want to chat a few times before meeting up.

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Question

How can I build a connection with someone over Instagram?

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Try to find a mutual interest that both of you share and lean into that. It's a lot easier to connect with someone if you have something in common that gets both of you excited.

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Question

How do you start a conversation with a non-binary person on Instagram?

Community Answer

Talk to them as you would do with anyone else, except don't use gendered pronouns or words. Just talk about stuff you like, and listen to them talk about that stuff back. It's that simple.

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Question

I don't know the girl that I want to converse with. She doesn't share anything on her profile. How can I start a conversation with her?

Community Answer

Follow her and send a direct message asking her if she wants to talk. If her profile is private, send her a follow request. If she doesn't want to talk, find someone else.

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Question

I am talking to a girl, and she has a private profile. Will she let me in?

Community Answer

She might, if she begins to trust you. Just keep talking to her and making her feel happy, and she might open up.

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Question

If she didn't reply anything, what does that mean?

Community Answer

That means you need to wait. She is probably just busy. Talk to other people while you wait.

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Question

What is the first message I should send to a girl I like?

Community Answer

Just say simple stuff like, "Hi", "Hello", or compliment her on one of her photos. You can also ask funny questions if she's the kind of person who appreciates humor.

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Question

I tried talking to a girl. Sometimes, she responds and sometimes she doesn't. What should I do in this case? I don't want to lose her. Sometimes I tag her in posts to express my feelings and try other things too.

Community Answer

That likely means that she is busy and doesn't have time to respond to everything. Give her some time and she'll eventually catch up to all of them.

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Question

I want to get a girl's number today and I don't know her at all. What should I do?

Community Answer

You will need to wait until you are already familiar with each other before you can give out really personal information such as a phone number. Keep chatting to strengthen the relationship first.

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Question

There is a girl I like, but I don't know how to start a conversation with her. How do I do this?

Community Answer

Just talk to her casually. Comment on one of her photos or send her a private message and start from there.

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Question

What should I do if she doesn't follow back?

Community Answer

Don't do anything about it. It could mean that she doesn't have much interest in you. You could talk to her more if it's suitable and she might follow you if she thinks you're interesting enough.

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Question

Are the conversation messages secret?

Community Answer

If they're direct messages, yes. Direct messages are secret and only the 2 people in the conversation can see them. A conversation on a post depends on if the profile is public or private.

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