Q&A for How to Tell Your Crush You Like Them

You want to definitely be on the playful side as far as communication goes. Keep things right and friendly. Use the body language, some playful touches here and there, try to break away from being in the friend zone, and in subtle ways just communicate that there is potential on more of a romantic and physical level.

Do you want to date your crush? If you like your crush but aren't interested in dating them, or can't for whatever reason, they may be hurt or confused by getting mixed signals, so you probably shouldn't tell them. On the other hand, if you're interested in dating them, telling them can help you both figure out what you'd like your relationship to be.

If your crush is still recovering from the breakup, especially if the relationship was serious, telling him your feelings can make things awkward or make it seem like you were waiting for him and his girlfriend to break up. How recent was the breakup? Does he still seem angry or bitter about relationships, talk about his ex frequently, get annoyed or upset when he's around her or someone brings her up in conversation, or say he's not interested in dating when the subject is brought up? Depending on your ages and the intensity and longevity of the relationship, your crush may take awhile to get over the relationship and be willing to date again. Until you're certain that he's over his ex, you shouldn't tell him about your feelings - wait until he's over the breakup.

You need to talk to your friends about your feelings before you consider confessing to your crush, especially if you think he likes you back. If you ask him out without your friends knowing that you like him, it will likely lead to a lot of drama in your friendship circle (e.g. your friends thinking you're "stealing" him from them, or jealousy and hostility in the group), which could cost you your friendships and make your crush afraid to interact. If you talk to your friends about this crush, you can figure out what your friends are planning on doing about their crushes on the boy and whether someone in the friend group is already "allowed" to ask him out. (In general, it's typically considered "friend code" to not ask out a friend's crush or sibling without talking to them about it first.)

Telling her your feelings isn't a good idea right now. Chances are good there's one of two things going on - either she really does have a boyfriend and you just haven't seen him (meaning she would not appreciate you making advances on her), or she told you she "has a boyfriend" because something you're doing is making her uncomfortable and she doesn't know how to tell you that she's not interested in you (in which case, you need to give yourself some distance from her). It's absolutely okay to have a crush, but if someone tells you they already have a partner, they're telling you they're not interested in dating you. Being pushy about your feelings or trying to determine whether or not she actually has a boyfriend isn't respectful of her boundaries and is extremely likely to make her feel uncomfortable (or even threatened), and will absolutely not make her like you.

No. This can come across like you're trying to break them up, can make your crush feel awkward or put in a bad position, and runs the risk of the girlfriend getting mad at you or thinking you're trying to steal her boyfriend from her. Let their relationship run its course, or distance yourself from him if that's too hard for you to do.

That's not a good idea. Their friend might tell the friend before you get a chance to, or even worse, the friend might tease you, tell as many people as possible, or even lie to you about whether your crush likes you back! Tell your crush yourself; it's hard, but it can be far less embarrassing than your crush finding out through somebody else.

Do you actually like your friend, or are you just lonely ? If you just want to ask him out because you want to date someone, stop and really think about why. Relationships don't determine your worth, and just dating someone for the sake of dating is inconsiderate of not only his feelings, but yours as well. It sounds like you might be struggling with the breakup, loneliness, or with low self-esteem, so seek out a trusted person to talk to (like a family member or an non-involved friend) and spend time doing things you enjoy that don't involve dating. Don't impulsively rush into another relationship - give yourself time to recover and to figure out what you want.