Q&A for How to Tell a Lie Without Being Caught

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What to say when you get caught in a lie?

Rachel Eddins, M.Ed., LPC-S
Licensed Professional Counselor
Rachel Eddins is a Licensed Professional Counselor and the Executive Director of Eddins Counseling Group. With more than 20 years of experience, she specializes in working with clients with eating disorders, anxiety and depression, relationship issues, and career obstacles. Rachel earned a BA in Psychology from The University of Texas at Austin and an MEd in Counseling from The University of Houston. She received a Group Psychotherapist Certification from the American Group Psychotherapy Association and an Intuitive Eating Counselor Certification through Intuitive Eating Pros. She is also recognized as a Master Career Counselor through the National Career Development Association.

Rachel Eddins, M.Ed., LPC-S

Licensed Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

Direct is the best approach here. Apologize for your dishonesty with sincerity, focusing on the value of the relationship and the kind of person you want to be. If it feels appropriate, share a bit more about your feelings, but avoid making excuses. Keep in mind that doesn’t mean the other person can’t still be upset, as they are also entitled to their feelings.

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Question

How can I tell if they know I am lying?

Community Answer

They will look unimpressed say things like "uh huh" "and?" Whatever you do, don't react to that and keep acting natural.

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Question

What should I do if they are starting to get suspicious?

Community Answer

Either cut it short and leave that comment with them, or just confess. You can try to keep going, but then they'll just get more suspicious.

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Question

What if I naturally make excessive eye contact when I speak to people when I tell the truth?

Community Answer

Most people who know how to look for lies know it's about looking for abnormal behavior. If you always give someone excessive eye contact, they will probably not think anything of it.

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I was half asleep and the person who had a crush on me asked me to be his girlfriend. I now regret it ,and I wish I hadn't said yes. How do I lie about that?

Community Answer

Because you were sleeping when the person asked you, you can say that you do not remember being asked or that you do not remember your answer.

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Question

Why can't I cry while lying?

Community Answer

You can try, but most people can't fake-cry effectively or believably. A bad crying act will make your lie more obvious than an act without any crying would.

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What should I do if I am caught lying?

Community Answer

Confess, it's easier to be honest than to weave a web of even more lies. The worst thing about liars continuing to tell lies is that it becomes easier and easier to see the deceit and is actually quite embarrassing for all concerned because the liar knows they've been rumbled and the person is watching an act worthy of the stage while being absolutely frustrated. Admit, apologize and adopt a positive action to fix things.

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How do I not get nervous while lying?

Community Answer

Just do everything you'd normally do when telling the truth. Act normal. Abnormal behavior might make the person suspicious. Try your best to believe in what you're saying. It's not a lie if you believe it!

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Question

What if it's a lie that I didn't break something of theirs?

Community Answer

Confess but if you really need to lie, then tell them a pet broke it.

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Question

Why should I confess when I can just cover it up with more lies?

Community Answer

If you cover it up and the other person finds out about it, then you are compounding your problems. It's better to confess and just get it over with than make more lies that you may have to explain later.

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Question

In what situation can lying be life saving?

Community Answer

This is a very rare situation. A good example is during the Holocaust when people were hiding Jewish people in their homes. They lied and said that they were not hiding anyone in the homes. By lying, they were able to save the lives of many Jewish people.

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Question

I have a leaked pic and it has an inappropriate body part, but I want to tell my classmates that she is someone that is not from my family, what do I do?

Tom De Backer

Top Answerer

Delete the picture. Forget about the picture. Leave it alone. Don't share it with anyone. Don't talk about it with anyone.

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I hear that if you're lying, you usually feel the need to defend yourself more. What if I naturally do that when telling the truth?

Community Answer

It depends on the person you are talking to. Make sure it's an obvious truth the first time you do it so that they can just think that's how you are when you're honest. In other cases, you need to keep in mind your behavior and try to slow it down as you proceed.

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Question

Do well calculated lies couple as truth?

Community Answer

NEVER- if it were the truth that's what it would be called. A lie is a lie and it will almost always come back to haunt you.

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Question

What if you took something and lost it?

Community Answer

You can lie and say that you never took it, or you can say that you do not know what happened to the item. If you lost it, you technically do not know where the item is.

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Question

In which things should we never lie?

Community Answer

Ideally, you wouldn't lie about anything. But most people lie about little things, like telling someone they look nice in a pair of pants that aren't actually very flattering.

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Question

Is lying to parents and close friends realistic?

Community Answer

Depends on how believable the lie is. In general, those closest to you probably know when you're lying.

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Question

Is it worth it to dodge questions sometimes?

Community Answer

It depends. If you feel really uncomfortable lying to people, this is a good way to get out of lying. If they ask you a question, answer it with another question, but don't completely change the topic, otherwise you will look suspicious.

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Question

My brother's girlfriend stole from me, and I stole back. Now I'm the only one in trouble, and I want to get her in trouble by lying back. Should I?

Community Answer

No. Part of what got you in this pickle is returning evil for evil when she stole from you in the first place. Tell your part of the story truthful, take ownership for what you did wrong and apologize, and make the choice to choose to do what's right.

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I don't know whether the person I'm lying to knows that I'm lying. What is the most foolproof and clean way of knowing that?

Community Answer

The most foolproof way would be to ask the other person. Cards on the table, see who's who and what's what. Or you can assume they know you're lying and act accordingly. Or, you know, just don't lie.

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Question

I don't know if someone saw something or not. If they did, how can I convince them they didn't see me do the bad thing I did?

Morrigan

Community Answer

Tell them you were doing something else (but make it believable), claim it was an accident, or just tell them you'd rather not talk about it. If all else fails, bribe them not to talk.

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Question

I lied about having an immigration appointment. My professor wants a letter. What should I do?

Community Answer

It is best to confess because you cannot produce a letter. If you make a fake letter, you will have to create a fake letter and continue to lie. Your professor may check into your immigration status or keep asking questions.

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Question

My friend thinks that I stole his $50 in his drawer when he was home for the weekend and left his wallet in his drawer. I said cool and then didn't touch it anymore, and then when my roommate got back his $50 was gone. Now one of the staff thinks I did it, but I didn't do it, what can I do?

Tom De Backer

Top Answerer

Well, the truth is true regardless of what someone believes. E.g. "crocodiles have red and yellow stripes" is false, whether you believe it or not. So, if you didn't take the 50$, then you didn't. End of story. Of course, that is of little comfort, but at least one person (you) knows you didn't do it. Just stick to your side and expect your friend to believe you.

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Question

My sister wants me to bring my computer from school home and she told me to say that I forgot it so we never return it. How should I lie about that?

Community Answer

Your sister is being unkind, as that is called stealing! Tell her: "No, I will not steal a computer." And leave it at that. No need to lie here, just stand up for yourself and do what's right instead.

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Question

I lied to my friend, but now I need her and want her to trust me. How do I convince her I'm not a liar?

Tom De Backer

Top Answerer

Just because you put on a red t-shirt once, doesn't suddenly make red your favorite color. There's the same difference between telling a lie and being a liar. I wouldn't worry too much about one lie, as long as you try and avoid lying to her again from now on. Finally, remember this very situation in the future. You shouldn't lie now, precisely because you may need your friends in the future.

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Question

What if I lie and say someone else did it?

Community Answer

It can be really bad. You can hurt their feelings if they know you said it.

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Question

i was absent in the school due to my MPPD but what should I have told my teacher for being absent?

Zack

Top Answerer

You should tell the teacher the truth and have her verify it with the Menlo Park Police Department.

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I've drawn some Hitler memes at the back of my planner, and now my head of year knows. I've said that someone must have drawn in it when I lost it, which is partially true, but what do you think?

Tom De Backer

Top Answerer

It is always easier to stand up and take responsibility for whatever action you make. If you can let it rest, leave it be. If you must come back to it, own up and confess it honestly.

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Without telling the truth, what can I do now that I've gotten so deep into another girl? I have a girlfriend already, but she's suspicious.

Sylghouls

Top Answerer

You're not going to like this answer, but you do the health of your relationship no favors by keeping secrets from her. If you want to keep dating your girlfriend, you need to have an honest conversation with her and tell her what you've been feeling. This is absolutely a conversation you can have without ending your relationship, but you will dig yourself deeper by avoiding talking to her about it.

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Question

What if I need to lie to keep a friendship?

Community Answer

You shouldn't have to lie just to keep a friendship. If your friend (or anyone else) is trying to get you to lie for them, they're not a real friend.

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