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How do I get out of love?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

You don't necessarily 'get out of love,' but sometimes you must make the decision to leave a relationship that is definitely not working.

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Question

How do you get out of a relationship?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

Unless there is danger or abuse, it is usually best to have a conversation (or several) about what is not working in the relationship. Stay calm, use "I" statements, and try not to blame the other person.

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Question

How do you know when to walk away from a relationship?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

It is definitely time to walk away whenever there is violence or abuse. Also, walk away if there are serious trust violations or any belittling or neglect that is ongoing. In addition, if you are just repeatedly unhappy and disappointed after trying to talk about it, it might be best to move on.

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Question

How do you walk away from a situation?

Klare Heston, LCSW
Licensed Social Worker
Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Year Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Treatment (EMDR).

Klare Heston, LCSW

Licensed Social Worker

Expert Answer

You walk away one step at a time. Rarely will a person feel elated upon leaving, but they may be relieved. Most people will have mixed feelings of relief and sadness. Confide in a close friend or two who can be there for you in the first few weeks, which will be the hardest.

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My boyfriend gets me to meet him somewhere other than his house because is ex-wife is usually there. Is this awkward?

Tasha Rube, LMSW
Licensed Master Social Worker
Tasha Rube is a Licensed Social Worker based in Kansas City, Kansas. Tasha is affiliated with the Dwight D. Eisenhower VA Medical Center in Leavenworth, Kansas. She received her Masters of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Missouri in 2014.

Tasha Rube, LMSW

Licensed Master Social Worker

Expert Answer

The question you should be asking your boyfriend, is why is his ex-wife is at his home? Are there children involved that they share? Or is there some other legitimate reason for regular contact between him and his ex-wife? The term “ex”, denotes that the relationship has ended, and therefore there should not be any awkwardness between anyone because all parties have essentially moved on. If he is unable to be forthcoming with any information now or in the future, you should reevaluate the relationship.

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