Q&A for How to Write a Eulogy For a Father

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How do I start an eulogy for my father?

Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP
Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor
Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers.

Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP

Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor

Expert Answer

Think about a happy time and take yourself back into that memory. Think about what you see, smell and hear. What are the feelings that come back to you and what do you remember the most about this time in your life? Write down a few things that come to mind and see if you can think of something positive to start your eulogy with.

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Question

What should you not say in a eulogy?

Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP
Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor
Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers.

Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP

Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor

Expert Answer

There is no right or wrong way to start, continue or finish a eulogy. Speak from the heart. Remember, it’s all part of the healing process and grief looks different for everyone. Try and make the eulogy something that is both healing and meaningful for you and not focus as much about the thoughts and perceptions of those around you.

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Question

I want to write one for my dad, but don't know how to do it. What should I do?

Community Answer

Just write something from your heart. Once you get started, it will flow and get easier.

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Question

Should a stepson speak at a funeral?

Community Answer

If the stepson was close to his stepfather, sure, he can speak at the funeral. This is not at all uncommon.

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Question

I want to write one for my father, but don't know where to start. My dad was very loving, and he loved to write songs.

Community Answer

First of all, I am sorry for your loss. I would suggest you write from your heart. Talk about specific qualities, like his love of music, and tell a short story or anecdote that always comes to mind when you think of your father. Talk about how much you love him, how much he loved you, and how much you will miss him.

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Can a daughter who happens to be the first child write an eulogy for a late father?

Community Answer

Yes. It shouldn't matter when you were born, you should be able to write and present a eulogy.

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My father was emotionally, physically and mentally abusive all throughout my childhood and early adult years. He was also unfaithful to my mother for most of their marriage. How do I eulogise him?

Community Answer

Try to think of his family and still how it feels to lose a friend or even a husband. They still had to fall in love to get married right? If you don't really feel comfortable, ask a sibling or another family member to do the eulogy instead. There is no rule saying you have to give a eulogy for a parent.

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