Are They Your True Friend?

Take this quiz to help you decide if your friendship is real.

Sometimes you can’t help but wonder if someone is a true friend, or more of a frenemy. It’s a totally normal question to ask yourself!

We’re here to help. Answer these 12 questions about your friendship honestly, and we’ll settle the score and help you decide what to do next.

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Questions Overview

1. How do they usually make you feel when you hang out with them?
  1. They make me so happy! We connect really well.
  2. They make me feel pretty good. I usually enjoy spending time with them.
  3. They don't always make me feel good. I sometimes wish we weren't friends...
  4. They don't make me feel very good at all. I wish I could avoid them.
2. If you were playing a sport together with lots of other people, do you think they'd pick you to play on their team?
  1. Absolutely. I'd be the first person they'd pick.
  2. Sure. They'd pick me pretty early, but maybe not first...
  3. They might pick me, but only after they've picked most of their team already.
  4. I don't think they'd pick me unless they had to.
3. Do you feel like you could tell them anything, even a serious secret?
  1. Of course! They probably already know all my secrets, though.
  2. I'd probably tell them, but they're not the first person I'd want to tell.
  3. I might tell them some personal things, but there are definitely things I wouldn't tell them.
  4. I don't feel comfortable telling them almost anything personal, honestly.
4. How often do they invite you to hang out?
  1. Multiple times a week! They're always asking to hang.
  2. They ask sometimes, like once or twice a week.
  3. They rarely invite me out. Maybe once a month, or less.
  4. They never invite me to hang out.
5. How often do you invite them to hang out?
  1. Multiple times a week! I want to see them as much as possible.
  2. I invite them to hang once or twice a week. I like their company, but not all the time.
  3. I don't often invite them to hang out. Maybe once or twice a month.
  4. I never invite them to hang out.
6. If they won a big award, like first place in a contest, how would you feel?
  1. I'd be super excited for them! They've definitely worked hard to earn it.
  2. I'd be happy for them, but not super enthusiastic or anything.
  3. I'd probably feel a little jealous, honestly. I'd wonder if they deserved it...
  4. I'd feel bad, or even angry. I don't think they deserve something like that.
7. Have they ever made fun of you or talked behind your back?
  1. Never! We tease each other, but that's different.
  2. Once or twice, but we patched things up.
  3. More than once or twice. It's kind of a problem.
  4. They're always making fun of me, and I wish they would stop.
8. How often do you talk to each other on the phone, over text, or in DMs?
  1. Every day, all the time. We're always blowing up each other's phones.
  2. Maybe once or twice a day. We talk pretty regularly.
  3. Once or twice a week, probably. We don't really talk like that.
  4. Almost never.
9. Do you think they would defend you if someone were being unkind to you?
  1. Yes. They'd be at my side right away.
  2. Probably, but it depends on who was being mean to me...
  3. Probably not. I don't think they're that sort of person.
  4. Definitely not. Actually, they're the one I'm probably the one being mean in the first place!
10. Are they closer with other friends than they are with you?
  1. Nope. We're super close. I'm probably their closest friend.
  2. I think they have friends that are about as close as we are.
  3. They have a few friends that are closer to them.
  4. They have a lot of friends who they’d put above me.
11. Have they ever broken a promise to you?
  1. Never. They always follow through.
  2. Once or twice, but it wasn't a huge deal in the end.
  3. They've broken enough promises that I don't really trust them anymore.
  4. They always break their promises. I don't think it means anything to them.
12. Have you ever felt like they were just using you?
  1. Never. I don't think they're that kind of person with me.
  2. Maybe now and then. But I'm happy to help out.
  3. Sort of often. They're always asking me for things...
  4. Always. They probably wouldn't be my friend if they couldn't get something from me.

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If you want to make them a best friend, you have to put in the effort, too! Make sure you're inviting them to hang out often, asking their advice, complimenting them, and helping them out when they need it. Best friends take time to make, but they're worth it!","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Find-out-Who-Your-Real-Friends-Are"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Make-Real-Friends"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Find out Who Your Real Friends Are","id":641457,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Find-out-Who-Your-Real-Friends-Are","image":"\/images\/thumb\/1\/13\/Find-out-Who-Your-Real-Friends-Are-Step-16-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Find-out-Who-Your-Real-Friends-Are-Step-16-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Find out Who Your Real Friends Are"},{"title":"How to Make Real Friends","id":805026,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Make-Real-Friends","image":"\/images\/thumb\/1\/14\/Make-Real-Friends-Step-20-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Make-Real-Friends-Step-20-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Make Real Friends"}],"minimum":0},{"text":"They don't really seem like a real friend.","meaning":"If you ask us, there's something a little fishy going on here. We don't want to jump to conclusions, but based on your answers, they're not really acting like a true friend. Maybe they don't invite you out very often, or you can't trust them to help you when you need it. Maybe you've even heard them say some less-than-kind things about you or another friend. Whatever the situation, things seem a little rocky from our perspective.

That doesn't mean they have to stay rocky, though! The best thing to do right now would be to talk to them about it. You might send them a text saying something like, \"Hey! I've sort of been getting weird vibes between us lately. I want to be a good friend, is there anything I can do?\" It puts the ball in their court, and opens a line of communication, which is key to any relationship.

Also, you can never really know what someone is thinking. It could be that they're having a hard time, or that they're not super great at fostering friendships. A little patience goes a long way.","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Find-out-Who-Your-Real-Friends-Are"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Make-Real-Friends"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Find out Who Your Real Friends Are","id":641457,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Find-out-Who-Your-Real-Friends-Are","image":"\/images\/thumb\/1\/13\/Find-out-Who-Your-Real-Friends-Are-Step-16-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Find-out-Who-Your-Real-Friends-Are-Step-16-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Find out Who Your Real Friends Are"},{"title":"How to Make Real Friends","id":805026,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Make-Real-Friends","image":"\/images\/thumb\/1\/14\/Make-Real-Friends-Step-20-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Make-Real-Friends-Step-20-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Make Real Friends"}],"minimum":0},{"text":"They're definitely not a real friend.","meaning":"From where we're standing, we don't think they're really living up to friend material. Based on your answers, it seems like they just don't put in the same energy as you. Maybe they never invite you out, or have said some mean things about you or one of your friends. Maybe they even feel more like an enemy. Whatever the case, you don't seem very happy having them around, and that's basically the opposite of how it should feel to be a friend.

Of course, there's always a chance that they're having a hard time themselves, or maybe they're just not great at fostering friendships. If you want to, you could reach out and start communicating. Let them know how you feel, and how you want to feel, and what you think you could do together to fix things. You might send them a text saying something like, \"Hey! I've sort of been getting weird vibes between us lately. I want to be a good friend, is there anything I can do?\" It puts the ball in their court, and opens a line of communication, which is key to any relationship.

That said, if they're doing something to hurt you, it might be time to look for other friends. There are plenty out there just waiting to meet you!","edit_links":[{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Find-out-Who-Your-Real-Friends-Are"},{"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Make-Real-Friends"}],"link_data":[{"title":"How to Find out Who Your Real Friends Are","id":641457,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Find-out-Who-Your-Real-Friends-Are","image":"\/images\/thumb\/1\/13\/Find-out-Who-Your-Real-Friends-Are-Step-16-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Find-out-Who-Your-Real-Friends-Are-Step-16-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Find out Who Your Real Friends Are"},{"title":"How to Make Real Friends","id":805026,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Make-Real-Friends","image":"\/images\/thumb\/1\/14\/Make-Real-Friends-Step-20-Version-2.jpg\/-crop-200-200-200px-Make-Real-Friends-Step-20-Version-2.jpg","alt":"How to Make Real Friends"}],"minimum":0}]" class="quiz_results_data"/>\"Guess<\/picture>","alt":"Guess the Movie Quiz"},{"title":"What Movie Should I Watch Quiz","id":14309432,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/What-Movie-Should-I-Watch-Quiz","image":"\"What<\/picture>","alt":"What Movie Should I Watch Quiz"},{"title":"Would I Survive a Horror Movie Quiz","id":14453254,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Would-You-Survive-a-Horror-Movie","image":"\"Would<\/picture>","alt":"Would I Survive a Horror Movie Quiz"}],"number":1},{"text":"Museum","result":"Fab choice! How about we explore some of these quizzes we picked out just for you?","next_quizzes":[{"title":"Which Tragic Greek Figure Am I Quiz","id":13852264,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Tragic-Greek-Figure-Quiz","image":"\"Tragic<\/picture>","alt":"Which Tragic Greek Figure Am I Quiz"},{"title":"What's My Cosmos Persona Quiz","id":14433146,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/Cosmos-Persona-Quiz","image":"\"Cosmos<\/picture>","alt":"What's My Cosmos Persona Quiz"},{"title":"World History Trivia Quiz","id":14241130,"url":"https:\/\/www.wikihow.com\/History-Quiz","image":"\"History<\/picture>","alt":"World History Trivia Quiz"}],"number":2}]}" class="quiz_questionnaire_data"/>

What Does a True Friend Look Like?

Your friends are the people you feel most at-home with, but even the best friendships have rough patches now and then. That’s just how relationships are! Everyone is different, and at some point, those differences cause conflicts. So how can you tell who’s a friend and who’s more of a flake (or maybe even just a straight-up enemy)? Here are signs to look for:

They want to hang out.
A good friend will invite you to spend time together! It means they enjoy your company, and like having you around. Of course, that’s a two-way road—you should also be inviting them to hang, and when you do, they’ll probably accept more often than not.

They want the best for you.
Real friends are always cheering you on and encouraging you to be your best self. They’re happy for you when good things come your way, and help you through it when life gets rocky. Friends sometimes get jealous every now and then, but that’s normal! What matters is that jealousy doesn’t get in the way.

They’re real with you. A real friend is someone you can be yourself around, and they’re genuine around you. They’re not two-faced, they don’t talk bad about you behind your back, and they definitely don’t pretend to be someone they’re not just to impress you or someone else. But also, a true friend knows when to tell you that you messed up, and they can take the same from you. That’s part of helping each other to grow.

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