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When you notice your friend, coworker, or new acquaintance donning some gorgeous curls, you may want to let her know that you love her look. But sometimes, even your best intentions could end up hurting someone you meant to flatter. How can you make sure that your compliment makes her day (and doesn't make her uncomfortable)? Don't stress. Finding the right words is actually super simple. We've included expert-backed advice for what to say and what to avoid. To learn how you can offer the sweetest compliment on her curly hair, read on!
Steps
Section 1 of 2:
What are some great compliments for a curly-haired girl?
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"I love your hair." Keep it short, simple, and flattering. For the best compliments on curly hair, steer clear of specifics. Offer a quick compliment that’s kind and to the point. Simply let her know that you think her hair looks amazing—full stop. She’ll be touched!
- “I like your hair!”
- “Love the curls!”
- “Your hair looks great!”
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"Your hair looks beautiful." Use adjectives that are complimentary but general. Words that may seem straightforward and flattering to you can actually hold extra (sometimes offensive) meanings. Steer clear of descriptors like “professional,” “sleek,” “youthful,” or “exciting,” for example. Instead, stick to classic adjectives that convey your appreciation without being offensive. These include: [1] X Research source
- “Your curls are gorgeous.”
- “Your hair looks awesome.”
- “Your curls look so lovely.”
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“I love your hair today!” If she alternates between styles, admire her curls without creating a comparison. Focus on how great she looks today—and don’t use other styles she might wear as a benchmark for your compliment. On the same note, never explain that her hair looks better than someone else’s to flatter her. The key, again, is to keep it simple. Let her know that she’s rocking today’s style, and you could make her day! [2] X Expert Source John Keegan
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.- “I just noticed how great your hair looks today!"
- “Your hair always looks amazing. Love your style today.”
- “This look is so gorgeous. Your hair looks amazing today!”
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"By the way, your hair looks fantastic!" Offer her "drive-by" flattery to create a more sincere, easily acceptable compliment. In other words, say something kind in passing, before leaving a room, or before continuing on talking about another topic. This way, she can enjoy your compliment without having to express gratitude. You're not asking anything of her, so your compliment will feel extra genuine and special.
- As you pass by her in the hallway at work, casually add, "Your hair looks great!"
- Offer her a compliment while you're leaving, "Alright, see you! Also, your hair looks amazing. Talk soon!"
- Or, continue talking about something else after your compliment, "Wow, your hair looks awesome. Also, I wanted to get your opinion on this quickly..."
Lorraine Massey, Hair StylistWhen appreciating curly locks, focus on the captivating details — the perfect spiral ringlets artfully framing her face, the lush volume with its striking shape and movement. Thoughtfully compliment her hair's vibrancy, the rich tones and dimensions that catch the light. She will be uplifted knowing you truly see the beauty in one of her most distinctive features.
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Section 2 of 2:
What shouldn’t you say to a curly-haired girl?
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“Your hair looks so nice when it’s straight!” For this compliment, again, you have to think about what you’re implying. If you explain that her hair looks nice straight, then it’s a bit like saying her curled hair looks worse. And that won’t make any naturally curly-haired girl feel good! Instead, let her know that when it comes to her hair, she can do no wrong. She'll be totally flattered. [3] X Research source
- “Your hair always looks so good!”
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“Your curls aren’t that bad.” This one, again, implies that there’s something wrong with a gorgeous, curly hairstyle. Even if the context seems to allow a comment like this (if she explains that curly haircare can be challenging, for example), pick a different compliment. If she’s complaining about haircare struggles, let her know that regardless, her end product is great.
- “Well, that sounds tough, but I gotta say. Whatever you’re doing is working. Your hair looks absolutely amazing.” [4] X Research source
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“You look so exotic.” Even if you mean this to be flattering, this phrase isn’t complimentary. By implying that her natural hair is “wild” or “untamed,” you’re making an unfair, uncomfortable association (when in reality, you probably had great intentions in mind). In any setting or in any relationship, stay away from this phrase.
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“You really manage to pull that look off. I’m impressed!” Your aim may be to communicate that her hairstyle looks great on her, but instead, this phrase sounds like you think curls are hard to pull off. Steer clear of this phrase if you want to leave her complimented, not offended. [5] X Research source
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“That look is definitely eye-catching.” Calling her look “noticeable,” "big," “striking,” or even "stunning" doesn’t actually explain that you like her hair—just that it was conspicuous. This could make her feel vulnerable, not flattered. Even if you plan to follow up with a more direct compliment, steer clear of this phrase.
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“Man, that style would never look good on me.” When saying this, you probably have the best intentions. You’re trying to explain that her hair wouldn’t look good on you, but she’s beautiful enough to pull it off. Still, this does subtly hint that curls don’t look good generally. And you don’t want to say that! Steer clear of comparison-based compliments on the whole. [6] X Research source
- If you're looking to lay it on thick with flattery but you don't want to offend her, explain that she looks so good—there’s actually no comparison.
- “You always look amazing. It's so next level. There's literally no comparison!”
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“Wow, did that take forever?” In your mind, this may be a way to appreciate the effort she puts into her look—just like you might compliment how well she matched her shoes with her purse. But in reality, this will probably feel intrusive to her. So, steer clear of this phrase. When you compliment her effort, she'd probably rather you focus on her outfit instead.
- Try something like, "Wow, your clothes look amazing. I see how much thought you put into the patterns you mixed and matched!"
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“Your hair looks so different every day!” If she sports new hairstyles regularly, it may feel like a compliment to comment on her variety. In reality though, this will probably make her feel exposed and offended. She’s just living her life and wearing her hair how she wants, so your comment will probably feel invasive.
- If you want to comment on her overall appearance choices, she'd probably rather you call her fashionable or stylish.
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“You look like such a free spirit with that hairstyle!” In your mind, this may be a kind, fun thing to say. But in reality, you’re unintentionally drawing another untrue and unnecessary comparison. Instead of implying that her natural curls give “hippie” or “care-free” vibes, compliment her aesthetic or energy more generally. [7] X Expert Source John Keegan
Dating Coach Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.- Explain that she has a super positive aura, "You know, you really light up every room you're in."
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“What a courageous hair choice!” When you say this, you’re implying that wearing her curls takes “bravery.” But in reality, natural hair should be celebrated! So this won't have the desired effect. Instead of highlighting her natural beauty, you're talking down on it. If you want to compliment her personality, she'd probably rather you focus on a different trait. [8] X Research source
- For instance, you could say, “You’re a kind person."
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“You must’ve used so much product.” Avoid any comments about her haircare process, her products, or the time she puts into her look. You’re probably just trying to express an interest in her life, but this won’t express that well. Instead, she’ll probably feel like you’re being a bit invasive. [9] X Research source
- If you want to show that you're interested in her, show that you're curious about her hobbies, passions, or her skillsets.
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“Your weave looks great!” There are a few reasons that this compliment won’t make her feel good. For one, it’s intrusive. Then, it also suggests that you think because her hair looks a certain way, she must be wearing a weave or wig. As a rule of thumb, keep assumptions out of your compliments. [10] X Research source
- Your goal is probably for her to feel amazing. If you can’t think of a compliment that won't risk offending her, choose a different kind of gesture, like picking up her favorite coffee for her on your way into the office.
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“Can I touch your hair?” You may have the absolute best intentions, but this isn’t a compliment—even if you two are close. Imagine this: you’re not the only person who asks to touch her hair. That means that all day, she’s facing invasive comments and touching (or having to repeatedly say no). Make sure your actions reflect your great intentions. [11] X Trustworthy Source American Psychological Association Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists Go to source
- If you want to make her smile but you're unsure of how to compliment her, whip out your best joke instead. Make her day with your killer sense of humor!
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Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about compliments, check out our in-depth interview with John Keegan .
References
- ↑ https://www.oprahdaily.com/life/relationships-love/a28221845/how-to-give-compliments/
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/beauty/hair/advice/a24736/things-to-never-say-to-someone-with-curly-hair/
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/beauty/hair/advice/a24736/things-to-never-say-to-someone-with-curly-hair/
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/style-beauty/beauty/news/a38740/15-things-women-with-natural-hair-are-tired-of-hearing/
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/style-beauty/beauty/news/a38740/15-things-women-with-natural-hair-are-tired-of-hearing/
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
- ↑ https://www.curlyhair.com/trending/things-never-say-curly-girl/
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/style-beauty/beauty/news/a38740/15-things-women-with-natural-hair-are-tired-of-hearing/
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- "As someone with curly hair I get tired of the only thing people complimenting me about being my hair. Occasionally it is very nice to know my hair looks good, but you can try being more original than just doing what we hear every single day," ..." more
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"As someone with curly hair I get tired of the only thing people complimenting me about being my hair. Occasionally it is very nice to know my hair looks good, but you can try being more original than just doing what we hear every single day,"
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