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So, you check your phone and see a dirty text—what do you do?! Obviously, a lot depends on how you feel about the guy who sent it. If you're interested in him, you probably want to keep the conversation going in a sexy direction. Not feeling it? We'll help you respond to unwanted dirty texts, too!

8

Reply with a sexy picture if you know him really well.

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  1. Share a shot or text a visual description if you want to escalate things. Be as revealing as you'd like—you could send a picture of your little black dress riding up your thigh or a photo of you in a slip that doesn't hide anything. [6]
    • If you're not into sending photos, you could always describe something sexy. For instance, text him, "Ugh, my favorite lingerie is getting just a little too tight. It shows off everything!"
    • Do not send naked photos if you're not in a serious or committed relationship with the guy. There's just too much risk that those photos could spread beyond your control. He might show them to his friends or threaten you with them if the relationship ends badly.
9

Try playful deflection if you're not quite ready for dirty texts.

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  1. If you don't want to come off as prudish, reply in a way that shows he needs to get to know you better before you're willing to text dirty. It's a great way to earn his respect since you're showing him that you have standards that you're willing to uphold. Here are some great texts to send: [7] [8]
    • "I think you have me confused with a girl you know better."
    • "Nice try! But we're definitely not there yet."
    • "Looks like you're thinking of a future me who's been on many more dates with you."
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10

Send an unsexy message if you want him to stop.

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  1. If you feel like he's pushing you too far or too fast with explicit messages, you can completely redirect the conversation by not giving him what he wants. For instance, if he asks for a shower picture, put on your biggest robe and a shower cap for the shot. He should get the idea that you're not playing! [9]
    • For example, if he asks you to tell him what you're wearing, say, "My favorite old sweatshirt and a pair of jeans," instead of playing along and saying something sexy.
    • This also lets him see that you have boundaries and you don't like being pushed. He should respect that and adjust his text messages to make you more comfortable.
    • You can always change the subject by asking "What was your day like?" or "Did you do anything interesting today?" [10]

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  • Question
    How do you reject dirty talk?
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    Depending on the situation, you don't want to necessarily smack them down. So, instead of simply saying “No”, try asking them a question so that you can know each other on a deeper level before moving on to the dirty talk.
  • Question
    How do you respond to unwanted flirting text?
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    You can just deflect the flirting by saying something like, “Hey, I see you're feeling frisky but I'm more of a kind of girl who likes to get to know someone on a deeper level before I start feeling frisky like that”.
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