How to Respond After a Kiss

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Even if you feel like you're the smoothest cat on the planet, most people lose a little of their cool after a good kiss. You'll end up panicking on the inside, wondering what to do next. But there is no right answer about what to do after a kiss-- and that's a good thing! Just be yourself and take it slow.

Method 1
Method 1 of 3:

Responding to Your First Kiss

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  1. A good kiss is a moment out of time, so savor it. Don't feel like you must immediately move forward or have something to do next. Just enjoy the kiss! More often than not, the two of you will naturally find something to talk about, do, or just keep on kissing -- so let the moment just happen.
    • In general, the best advice is just to go slow. Don't rush into anything. Instead, just take a breath and slow down your thoughts.
    • The best advice for responding after a kiss is to follow your heart. It sounds cliche, but all kisses are different, and you will know what to do if you just trust yourself. [1]
  2. After the kiss, pull your head back slowly to give each of you some space. If you wrapped a hand around each other, you can lightly ease off, or hold each other close for a more intimate moment.
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  3. Look your partner in the eyes and smile . As you peel back, a simple, small smile is a great way to show your emotions without having to think of anything suave to say. More likely than not, there will be some nervous, happy giggles and smiles either way, but don't worry if you have "nothing to say." This giddy, semi-awkward moment is the perfect way to show how much you enjoy each other without movie-perfect quotes. You could also:
    • Run your hands through their hair.
    • Pull them in for a hug.
    • Wrap your arms around them, or cup their face.
    • Nuzzle your noses against each other.
    • Keep your faces, like forehead and nose, touching.
    • Hold each other for a quiet moment alone. [2]
  4. Post first kiss, no matter the circumstances, can often get a little awkward. And that is okay! Learn to embrace this moment, which is honestly less awkward and more exciting, without feeling like you need to say something. Most "smooth" lines that people come up with after kisses are laughably bad -- a smile and a simple "I liked that," is often more than enough.
    • Don't overthink things ! Just keep being yourself.
    • If you feel confident and have something to say, say it! Even if it is a little corny, more likely than not he/she will laugh.
  5. Continue building your relationship after your first kiss. A first kiss is just one step in a relationship, so don't put so much significance on it that you forget to be yourself. While things may be a little different for a day or two, there is no reason why a single kiss needs to change how you treat each other. [3]
    • The more you treat a kiss as a small growth in a larger relationship, and not the single most important moment in your lives, then it is doubtful that this will be your last kiss.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 3:

Moving Forward After a Passionate Kiss

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  1. A deep, passionate kiss is often the precursor to further passion, but all of the energy will dissipate if you move apart. Keep your bodies touching, reaching an arm around his back or bringing your hand up to cup her face. Staying tightly together keeps the charge alive and makes it easy to keep kissing. [4]
  2. Maybe he's staying close, keeping up eye contact . Maybe you see her look back down at your lips quickly. Maybe you're both smiling, and it just feels right. By moving slowly after a kiss, keeping yourself close and not rushing into anything else, you get the chance let the situation unfold naturally, often into another kiss. [5]
    • At this point, you should stop reading this article! Let yourself ease into the moment, trusting both yourself and your partner.
  3. If things are feeling hot and heavy, move down to his neck or ears. Pull him close, directing his head lightly with your fingers if there are areas you want to be kissed. Let your own lips and hands dictate the sort of experience you want -- going lower if you want to increase the heat, or staying up if you're moving slowly and getting to know each other. [6]
    • You have an equal say in what happens after these deep, passionate kisses, so feel free to state your boundaries or slow things down.
  4. If you want to try things other than kissing, then it is always worth it to take a second and ask if he/she is comfortable. It seems weird, but it will not ruin the mood -- it simply shows respect for your partner.
    • A kiss is not an invitation to further activities. A kiss is just a kiss -- don't assume it gives you some sort of permission to move forward. [7]
  5. In the movies, moments of passionate kissing are often heavy, dramatic, and mostly silent. But real life passion is much more diverse, exciting, funny, and a little goofy. Nothing goes perfectly. But that is half the fun -- knowing that you can laugh if she steps on your toes, or if he needs to turn away to sneeze. Instead of trying to control everything to be "perfect," "passionate," or "sexy," just enjoy each other's company. Let the mood unfold as it may and just have fun. [8]
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Method 3
Method 3 of 3:

Responding After an Unwanted Kiss

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  1. If the kiss doesn't feel right for some reason, you don't have to freak out or jump back. When the kiss is over, take one big step back, clearly showing that kissing is over. It can also help to put your hands non-confrontationally in front of you, palms down, to send a message that creates space.
  2. Passions are going to be high right now, so keep this short and sweet. A simple "I don't think this is a good idea right now," is often the best answer, as it keeps you from being mean or starting an argument. Simply state that you don't want to kiss.
    • In circumstances where one or both of you are passionate and emotional, it is usually best to avoid giving reasons or starting arguments. Keep things simple for now, knowing you can explain later.
  3. Remove yourself from the situation. There is no reason to linger around now. You can explain your reasoning later, if need be. For now, just say that "you're sorry" and move on, separating yourself. It will make it easier for everyone to move on if you're not in the same room. [9]
  4. If you have a friend who got a little drunk, an ex who had other ideas, or a platonic buddy who wanted something more, then you may feel comfortable explaining why you don't want to get romantic. Know, however, that you don't owe anyone an explanation if you don't want to give one -- simply not wanting to kiss someone is more than enough of a reason not to kiss them. [10]
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  • Question
    What to say after a kiss?
    Community Answer
    Anything you want, or nothing at all! A simple smile is often more than enough.
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  • Question
    What if they push you away?
    Community Answer
    Step back as well, showing you respect their wishes. Apologize, and smile -- trying to let them now that you aren't forcing anything, just mis-read the situation. While difficult, a little laugh and quick joke is a great way to diffuse any tension.
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      Tips

      • Don't be too stiff. Act naturally. He's/she's probably more nervous than you are, so just be natural.
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      Warnings

      • Never run off and tell your friends about what you do with your partner, or think of ways to "share" your kiss.
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      References

      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/fulfillment-at-any-age/201510/should-you-follow-your-heart-or-your-head
      2. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/shouldstorm/202006/science-discovers-the-perfect-formula-hugging
      3. ↑ https://positivepsychology.com/build-trust/
      4. ↑ Imad Jbara. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
      5. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201803/the-surprising-importance-the-first-kiss
      6. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hide-and-seek/201402/the-history-kissing
      7. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-science-love/201210/the-very-first-kiss-momentous-or-disastrous
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/happy-healthy-relationships/202301/having-fun-together-is-a-key-to-relationship-satisfaction
      9. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ambigamy/201402/mastering-the-art-giving-and-taking-space
      1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ambigamy/201402/mastering-the-art-giving-and-taking-space

      About This Article

      Article Summary X

      Whether a kiss is amazing or awkward, it can be hard to know how to respond afterward. If you are enjoying the kiss, try to relax and let it happen without planning what to do or say next. When the kiss ends, pull back slowly, make eye contact with your partner, and smile at them. If you’re both feeling it, you might lean in for another kiss, or just sit and cuddle for a while. If it was a really passionate kiss, you can also turn up the heat by kissing them in other places, like their neck or shoulder, or by touching and caressing them in an intimate way if they’re okay with it. Another option is to tell them how you feel after the kiss. Say something like, “Wow, that was amazing. Can I kiss you again?” If the kiss is unwanted, step back confidently and tell the other person you aren’t interested. Say something like, “I don’t think this is a good idea,” or “Please don’t do that again.” Excuse yourself and leave as soon as you can. If you feel comfortable enough, you can always have a talk with them later about what happened. For tips on how to respond to an unwanted kiss, keep reading!

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      Reader Success Stories

      • Nia A.

        Mar 6, 2017

        "It made realize how I should've acted when my boyfriend leaned over to kiss me."
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