How to Respond to a Date Rejection Text

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Whether you just got a rejection text after a first date or whether your crush said “no” to going out, rejection hurts. But rejection rarely has anything to do with who you are, and dating rejection doesn’t say anything about what you’re worth. [1] To help you respond when you get rejected and move on quickly to find that special someone, we’ve put together a list of 15 texts you can send to accept rejection gracefully and come off as a confident, strong person.
This article is based on an interview with our professional dating coach, Collette Gee. Check out the full interview here.

1

“No worries! Hope you find what you’re looking for.”

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  1. [2] Let’s be real, rejection stings and you may be tempted to fling a whole bunch of emotions and emojis at the other person. That’s understandable, but a courteous approach lets you deal with rejection a bit more gracefully. Take a deep breath and read over your message before pushing “send” to avoid saying anything rude or harsh. Stick to wishing the other person well, and you’ll look polite and classy.
    • “That’s cool. I hope you have a good day!”
    • “Your honesty is really refreshing. Wishing you well.”
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2

“I respect that. Good luck!”

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  1. There’s no need to get super fancy or spend a lot of effort if you’re feeling hurt. Save your energy by copy-and-pasting this little gem and hitting send. Then, treat yourself to your favorite activity, treat, or a fun outing with friends to take your mind off the rejection. [3] Here are a couple more short, well-wishing texts so you can keep it light and move on: [4]
    • “Okay–no worries. Wishing you all the best!”
    • “Gotcha. Sorry we’re not a match, but good luck on all your future dating endeavors!”
3

“I totally get it. Thanks for a great time!”

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  1. [5] Saying that you “totally get it,” implies that you’re not too upset and that maybe you weren’t feeling a connection either. This text could be your go-to if you really weren’t feeling the date, too. Ultimately, this text might be your best way to save face and be gracious at the same time. Here are some similar examples:
    • “Oh, I understand. I had fun though, thanks!”
    • “Yeah, makes sense! Thanks for a fun night.”
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4

“Hey, thanks for letting me know. I appreciate it.”

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  1. As hard as rejection feels, put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Letting someone know that you’re not interested takes guts. Show the other person you respect their honesty, and you can gracefully handle the situation. [6] It’ll show them just what a strong, amazing person you are—and what they’re missing out on! Here are some more variations:
5

“That’s chill. I really enjoyed hearing about what you do!”

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  1. Give yourself time to process how you feel before you reply. You’ve got all the time in the world. When you’re ready, try bringing up a fun conversation you had or complimenting a positive quality about the other person. Positive memories can leave the other person thinking about you in a good light. [8] You could try something like this:
    • “Hey, that’s cool. Thanks for introducing me to that podcast though, I’m hooked!”
    • “Ok, no worries. I’ll always remember that hilarious waiter 🤣”
    • “All good. Not gonna lie, I’m still wondering if we live in a computer simulation. But hope you have a good day!”
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6

“It was fun grabbing coffee! Sorry it didn’t work out.”

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  1. That type of text is a good reminder the rejection isn’t about you or the other person. [9] You might’ve had a fun date, but it’s okay if you two just didn’t quite click. Just because it didn’t work out doesn’t mean it was a bad date—focus on the positive if you had a good time! Check out these other examples for more inspiration:
    • “Okay, I understand. Thanks for showing me that bar! Had a fun night.”
    • “I had a great time at dinner. Definitely wouldn’t have tried that restaurant without you, so thank you!”
    • “Before last night, I had no idea I could have a future as a professional go-kart driver. Thanks! I had a great time, even though we’re not a match.”
7

“You’re such an amazing person, but I understand.”

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  1. This is the text equivalent of flashing a smile and walking away with your head held high. Rejection definitely stings, but by focusing on the good parts you’ll have an easier time moving on. After all, you got to meet someone new, even if you weren't a match. [10] Here are a few more examples:
    • “You are one of the best listeners I’ve ever met! Grateful to have gotten to talk. I hope you find your person.”
    • “I don’t think I’ll ever meet anyone who’s as good of a dancer as you. Hope this app works out for you, and wishing you well.”
    • “I understand. Just want to say the volunteering you do is really inspiring. It was lovely to chat, and I hope you have a good one!”
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8

“Aw that’s a bummer. I’m grateful for your honesty!”

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  1. In fact, acknowledging and expressing how you feel is super important to get past rejection. [11] Let your date know you had fun with them, but that getting rejected kind of stinks. Follow up by thanking them for their time and their straightforwardness, so that you end the text on a good note. [12] Check out these other examples:
    • “I wish it had worked out, but thanks for your time!”
    • “Ah that’s tough to hear. But I really respect you for letting me know. Wishing you the best!”
    • “Oh shoot, that’s disappointing. I had a great time though, thank you!”
9

“LMK if you ever want to hang out as friends.”

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  1. Even if you two didn’t hit it off romantically, feel free to send a text about becoming friends. The key here is to keep your expectations reasonable—don’t be offended if they don’t take you up on the offer. You will find someone! Use a positive tone when you text back, and you’re more likely to have a shot at friendship. [13] Here are some other versions of this text:
    • “I understand. Let me know, though if you ever want to go rock climbing as friends. It’s hard to find someone who’s into bouldering here!”
    • “That makes sense. If you’re down to hang out as friends, don’t hesitate to reach out. We have some cool things in common.”
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10

“You know where to find me if you ever change your mind!”

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  1. Respect their “no,” but let them know you’ll be around, since their opinion might change. [14] To really make this work, it’s best to send this message and then end the conversation there. You don’t want to come on too strong or seem like you don’t respect their decision. [15] You could also try one of these:
    • “I get it. I liked you though, so let me know if anything changes!”
    • “You’ve got my number! Hit me up if you change your mind.”
11

“All good. Almost forgot–here’s an artist I thought you’d like.”

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  1. The trick is to keep this exchange short. Just send a link to your recommendation, and then leave the conversation there. Use this strategy for someone you want to stay friends with—your date might decide to re-open the conversation if they end up checking out your recommendation. Here are a few more examples:
    • “Oh one last thing! There’s this movie I thought you’d like. Here’s the link to the trailer. Take care!”
    • “Almost forgot. Here’s that band I mentioned. Hope you enjoy & have a good one!”
    • “Just had to share this one thing before I leave you alone. This German Shepherd vid is almost better than the cute koala vid you shared with me.”
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12

“No hard feelings! I’ll see you around.”

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  1. Tell them it’s all cool, and briefly mention the next time you’ll see them. This approach can really help you out if you’re classmates, coworkers, or if you have mutual friends. Getting turned down by a friend can feel gut wrenching, but when you acknowledge potential awkwardness, it can actually help prevent uncomfortable situations. [16] Here are a few more examples:
    • “No worries. I’m glad we gave it a shot, and happy to just be friends :)”
    • “I get it! Thanks for letting me know, and I’ll see you at Travis’s party later.”
    • “It’s all good. I’ll see you in Chem on Tuesday! I promise I won’t be weird about it.”
13

“Oh no! Gotta go cancel the engagement photographer.”

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  1. It’s a total bummer to get rejected, but humor can help you keep the situation in perspective and make the conversation less stressful. [17] Add an emoji like 😂 or 😉 to emphasize that you’re kidding and there are no hard feelings. A text like this is probably best if you have a goofy personality that came through when you talked to your date. Otherwise, it might seem a bit over-the-top. You can also add these to your arsenal:
    • “Ah I see. Give me one minute. I have to cancel the engagement ring I just ordered.”
    • “In the words of Adele, ‘I wish nothing but the best for you.’”
    • You can also send a dramatic GIF of someone crying–the funnier the better!
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14

“Oh okay. I wasn’t expecting that.”

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  1. If you’ve been on a bunch of dates, and they were already talking about future adventures you two could have together, you might feel understandably confused and upset. That wishy-washy behavior is a classic sign of a “situationship” where someone might not be looking for real commitment. [18] Just remember, this one person’s opinion about you says nothing about what future potential dates might think. [19] Here's how you can respond:
    • Follow up with a message like, “I’m a little hurt and confused because last time we hung out, things seemed like they were going well. Thanks for being clear now.”
    • You can end your message with a phrase like “Wishing you well” or “Have a good one.”
15

Don’t respond at all.

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  1. You don’t have to reply right away, and in fact, you don’t have to reply at all, since you don’t owe the other person anything. Go do something for yourself—take a walk, hop in the shower, write a list of 5 reasons why you’re awesome, or crank up your favorite tunes. [20] You deserve it!
    • We tend to see people who reject us through rose-colored glasses. Take a step back and remember the person who rejected you has flaws, just like everyone else, and they're far from perfect. [21]
    • Think about all the incredible unique personality traits and talents that make you who you are. Remind yourself you're more than worthy of love and appreciation. [22]
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      References

      1. ↑ Collette Gee. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.
      2. ↑ Collette Gee. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.
      3. ↑ https://wellbeingtrust.org/news/its-not-you-its-me-6-ways-to-take-romantic-rejection-in-stride/
      4. ↑ Collette Gee. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.
      5. ↑ Collette Gee. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.
      6. ↑ Collette Gee. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.
      7. ↑ LeTisha Underwood. Certified Professional Matchmaker. Expert Interview. 14 December 2021.
      8. ↑ https://www.glamour.com/story/the-right-way-to-break-up-with
      9. ↑ Collette Gee. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.
      1. ↑ https://wellbeingtrust.org/news/its-not-you-its-me-6-ways-to-take-romantic-rejection-in-stride/
      2. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/rejection.html
      3. ↑ Collette Gee. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 20 August 2021.
      4. ↑ https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1990-25185-001
      5. ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=335&v=N6s_-gzLqYM&feature=youtu.be
      6. ↑ https://www.menshealth.com/sex-women/a26827245/how-to-get-out-of-the-friend-zone/
      7. ↑ https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/how-to-deal-with-unrequited-love-for-friend-320197
      8. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ulterior-motives/201706/humor-sometimes-makes-stressful-situations-better
      9. ↑ https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/are-you-situationship-what-it-how-get-out-it-ncna1057141
      10. ↑ https://wellbeingtrust.org/news/its-not-you-its-me-6-ways-to-take-romantic-rejection-in-stride/
      11. ↑ https://ideas.ted.com/why-rejection-hurts-so-much-and-what-to-do-about-it/
      12. ↑ https://www.psychalive.org/how-to-deal-with-rejection/
      13. ↑ https://www.psychalive.org/how-to-deal-with-rejection/

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