How to Respond to a Sad Text

PDF download Download Article
Respond to a breakup, medical diagnosis, or someone's bad day
PDF download Download Article

Responding to a sad text from someone can be tough. You want to be supportive and show them compassion, but maybe you're worried about saying the wrong thing or you aren't quite sure how to express what you'd like to say. We can help with that. In this article, we'll cover a variety of empathetic responses you can use when someone sends you a sad text.

1

"Are you okay?"

PDF download Download Article
  1. Just saying those words shows the other person that you care. This response also works well if the person was a bit vague or you aren’t quite sure what’s going on with them. Hopefully, they'll elaborate and you can go from there. [1] You could also say something like:
    • "You sound really upset, Erica. Is everything all right?"
    • "I can't believe that happened! How are you handling it?"
    2. Advertisement
2

"I’m sorry to hear that."

PDF download Download Article
  1. This works well when someone tells you that they’re going through something really hard. It helps to personalize the response a bit so it doesn’t feel too canned. For example:
    • "Sherry, I’m so sorry to hear that Max died. He was a great dog."
    • "I’m sorry to hear that you failed the test. I know how hard you studied."
    • "I’m so sorry to hear about the breakup, Alex."
3

"That sounds really difficult."

PDF download Download Article
  1. This shows the person that you were listening. [2] You’re acknowledging their pain or sadness as a valid response. You could also say:
    • "Getting that kind of news must be so upsetting." [3]
    • "It sounds like you’ve been through a lot today."
    • "I'm sorry, Bree, this situation at your job sounds really stressful."
    2. Advertisement
4

"Do you want to talk about it?"

PDF download Download Article
  1. If the person is being a bit vague, this can help draw them out. They’re more likely to open up if you show them you're ready and willing to listen. You could also say things like:
    • "Can you tell me what happened at school today?"
    • "I hope you know you can tell me anything. I would never judge you."
    • "That must have really hurt. It might help to talk about it."
    • Reader Poll: We asked 164 wikiHow readers how they like to cheer someone up, and 55% of them said listening and affirming their feelings without any judgment or criticism. [Take Poll]
5

"I can’t imagine what this must be like."

PDF download Download Article
  1. Even if you can relate to their situation on some level, it’s really not the time to compare stories. Stay focused on them and what they’re going through. Give them space to vent and say whatever they need. [4] You can also say:
    • "You’re not alone. I may not understand exactly how you feel, but I care about you and I’m here for you."
    • "That’s never happened to me before, but your feelings make total sense."
    • Avoid saying things like, “I know exactly how you feel.” Your heart is in the right place, but inserting yourself into the conversation isn't a good approach. Give the person space to express themselves without comparing their situation to something you've gone through. [5]
    2. Advertisement
6

"Thank you for trusting me with this."

PDF download Download Article
  1. It’s hard for people to open up and be vulnerable. It takes courage. It also says a lot about your character if someone trusts you enough to share something that personal. [6] You could also say:
    • "Thank you for telling me what happened with Erik. I know breakups aren't easy to talk about."
    • "I appreciate that you shared something so private with me. Your secret is safe."
    • "Don't worry, this conversation stays between you and me."
7

"What can I do to help?"

PDF download Download Article
  1. It’s normal to want to offer solutions, but if the person didn't ask for your advice, don’t offer it. Instead, let them know that you’re here for them in any capacity they need. You can also offer to help with something specific that doesn't have anything to do with offering advice. Here are few good ways to approach this:
    • "If you need anything at all, I’m here for you. Just say the word."
    • "You're going through so much. Can I pick up any groceries or bring you a meal?"
    • "I can pick up your homework and bring it over this afternoon. Would that be helpful?"
    2. Advertisement
8

"Would you like some company?"

PDF download Download Article
  1. Don’t push, just ask once. If they decline, they probably just need to be alone right now. That’s totally normal, so be sure to respect their feelings. You could also say:
    • "I’m just a phone call away if you need me."
    • "If you don’t want to be alone right now, I can come by."
    • "I'm in the neighborhood. Can I take you for a drive to get your mind off things?"
    • "Do you want to go for a walk? [7] We don't even have to talk, I can just be there for you."
9

"This is tough, but you're stronger than you know."

PDF download Download Article
  1. It's okay to encourage someone when they're down as long as you do it carefully. Avoid saying things that might belittle their feelings like, "This will pass. Hang in there," or "You're just going through a phase." Instead, acknowledge their strength and courage. For example:
    • "Dealing with a breakup is hard, but you're so strong. You can do this."
    • "Losing a pet is so sad. It's going to hurt for a while and that's okay. You will make it through this, I promise."
    2. Advertisement
10

"I’m sorry to hear about your loss."

PDF download Download Article
  1. It’s hard to know how to respond in this situation. There’s nothing you can really say or do to take away their pain, so just communicate how sorry you are. You can also say:
    • "Please accept my sincerest condolences/sympathies."
    • "My heart hurts for you. I’m so sorry."
    • "I’m stunned to hear about Daniel's passing. I am so very sorry."
11

"Thinking of you. I’m here if you need me."

PDF download Download Article
  1. Following up with them via text only takes a few moments and it will mean a lot to the person. [8] Give them a little space and then shoot them a text to check in. [9] You might say:
    • "Just wanted to see how you’re feeling this morning. Lmk."
    • "Are you feeling any better today? I hope so."
    2. Advertisement

Text Response Generator

  1. Craft the perfect reply to any text message
    Whether you’re answering a flirty message, a confusing one, or just trying to keep the vibe going, this tool helps you create the ideal response. Choose the tone you’re going for and describe the message you received to get a copy-paste-ready reply that fits your style.
    • See ad to
      Response failed. Please try again.
      Retry
      Try the full generator here .

Expert Q&A

Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
      Advertisement

      Tips

      • When people feel sad or upset, they may not express themselves clearly. Don’t pretend to understand if you don't. It's okay to ask for clarification. For example, you might say, "It sounds like you’re worried about failing this semester. Is that right? I just want to make sure I understand."
        Thanks
        Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
      Submit a Tip
      All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
      Name
      Please provide your name and last initial
      Submit
      Thanks for submitting a tip for review!
      Advertisement

      You Might Also Like

      How to
      Respond to Bad News (With Love & Support)
      The Best Ways to Respond to an Emotional Text
      How to
      Respond to a Text about a Death
      How Do You Comfort Someone & Make Them Feel Better? Experts Weigh In
      10 Ways to Offer Support and Comfort Using Words
      How to
      Express Sympathy
      How to
      Console Someone
      30+ Messages to Send a Grieving Friend Through Text
      50+ Good Alternatives to "Thinking of You at This Difficult Time"
      How to
      Be More Sympathetic: Expressing Sympathy & Communicating Mindfully
      How to
      Comfort Your Friend
      How to
      Comfort a Friend after a Breakup: 13 Texts to Send
      41 Different Ways to Respond to Sorry for Your Loss
      How to
      Help a Friend with a Broken Heart
      Advertisement

      References

      1. ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/its-okay-to-feel-sad#supporting-someone-else-who-is-feeling-sad
      2. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      3. ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/understanding-others.html
      4. ↑ https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/December-2018/Please-Don-t-React-Respond
      5. ↑ https://ideas.ted.com/why-we-should-all-stop-saying-i-know-exactly-how-you-feel/
      6. ↑ https://students.ubc.ca/ubclife/emotional-intelligence-101-empathetic-responses
      7. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      8. ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview
      9. ↑ https://students.ubc.ca/ubclife/emotional-intelligence-101-empathetic-responses

      About This Article

      Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 60,481 times.

      Is this article up to date?

      Advertisement