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This article was co-authored by Lisa Shield
and by wikiHow staff writer, Caroline Heiderscheit
. Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan.
There are 9 references
cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
This article has been viewed 57,231 times.
Have you ever been around a guy and thought, wait—is he...into me? When a guy wants you sexually, he drops all kinds of hints, some of them purposeful and some of them subconscious. If you know what to look for, discovering his true feelings will be a piece of cake. Below, we're walking you through everything you need to know. Let's get started.
Steps
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You're his favorite view. Can you blame him? He likes what he sees! If this guy has it bad for you, he’ll probably have a hard time averting his eyes. When you two chat, he’ll hold intense eye contact with you. And when you’re both talking to other people, you might just catch him staring from across the room. [1] X Research source
- You might even notice his pupils dilate in conversation. This is a well-known sign of attraction. If you notice his pupils get bigger when he’s lookin’ at you, he’s probably into you.
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His body language says it all. When he’s just talking with you, he’s fantasizing about more. So even while you’re discussing logistics or your weekend, he’s desperate to get closer, to bridge the gap between you. This is a big sign that he secretly wants you! [2] X Research source
- This is a great one to look out for if this guy isn't a super flirty person. Even if he's trying to play it close to the chest, he might subconsciously show his hand when he leans in close to you!
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He’s trying to get the ball rolling by initiating contact. There are a few things that could be going on here: he might be trying to gauge your reaction, flirt, or he just may not be able to help himself. If he’s super into you sexually and you’re nearby, all he can think about is getting closer. [3] X Research source
- He might be subtle or obvious. He could brush your hair away, remove an eyelash, press his knee to yours, or ask to massage you when you say you’re feeling stressed.
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He’ll take every chance to get to be with you. Even when he’s got a busy schedule, he’s never too busy for you. It seems like no matter what, he’s willing to drop everything when you ask to hang out. This shows that he’s not just casually interested, but he's definitely got the hots for you! [4] X Research source
- If you two aren't close enough to hang out 1:1 yet, think about how often he shows up to group hangs that you're at. If he always seems to show up at the same parties as you, it might be an intentional effort on his part.
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This guy wants to lay the groundwork for something more. These days, messaging is a big part of how people portray their interest in people and build rapport. If he’s always texting you and DMing you, there’s a good chance that he’s trying to send you a message: “Hello, look over here—I want you!” If this sounds like him, he's probably fantasizing about you sexually. [5] X Research source
- He might not just always be in a text conversation with you, but he puts in effort too. His responses are quick, they’re long, and they’re clever. He’s putting in the work!
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This is an intentional effort—he wants to impress you. If a guy has got it bad for you, he’s probably thinking about all the ways he can get your attention. Here’s a great way to do that: compliment you! Not only is this a great way for him to signal his interest in you sexually, it’s also a way to warm you up to his company. He might say he loves your energy, your looks, or your personality. [6] X Research source
- His compliments might seem casual ("You've got a nice laugh!") or thoughtful ("I love how down to earth you are."), depending on his personality.
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A person’s body language can hint at secret feelings. Even if he’s trying to play it cool and keep his cards close to his chest, even something as simple as his movements and posture can help you decode his true feelings. If a guy has the hots for you, you might find him facing in your direction more often than not. Even when you two aren’t actually talking, you might look down and notice that his feet are pointed right at you. [7] X Research source
- This is called “open physical posture,” and it can be a sign that someone’s attracted to you.
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He might not say it directly, but seems upset when you hook up with other people. If you’re friends with this guy and he hasn’t openly told you he’s interested, look for signs that he’s envious of people you date or hook up with. Say your friend mentions you went out with a guy yesterday, he might roll his eyes or say something dismissive: “Okay, new topic.” Why? Because he wishes he was the one hooking up with you. [8] X Research source
- He might not say anything specific, but still he doesn’t want to hear about it. For instance, say your friend mentions the fact that you hooked up with a girl last weekend, he might quietly leave the room.
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He probably fantasizes about your lips, too! It’s no surprise that if a guy's sexually attracted to you, he’s probably thought about kissing you. When you’re in conversation, he might not be able to resist quickly glancing down at your lips. If you catch him repeatedly watching your mouth while you talk, that’s a sign that he’s into you.
- This is another great subconscious sign if this guy is trying to play it cool. If he's got it bad, he might not be able to resist glancing down, and he won't realize when he does it!
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This guy wants to look his best around you. When he knows that you’ll be somewhere, he’s always trying to show his best stuff. You might find that he just looks extra pulled together when he’s around you—he might also wear cologne and have his hair styled just so. Why pull out all the stops? Because he’s hoping that the sexual attraction he feels is mutual. [9] X Research source
- Have you ever complimented specific clothes of his in the past? You might notice that he wears them all the time around you now. He knows you like them, and that’s what’s most important in his mind!
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Shakespeare said that music is food for love—and this guy clearly agrees. He's doing whatever he can to grab and hold your attention. Playlists are a nice way to show interest in someone and give you something to talk about. Maybe you mention that you’ve never listened to Kendrick Lamar, and he offers to make a list of his best stuff. Then, if that means that you guys hang out to listen to his music together sometime (and potentially even hook up!), he wouldn’t complain about that.
- Some guys might even make you a playlist that hints at their feelings. If all of the songs on his list seem, er, spicier than you'd expected, he might be trying to send a message!
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He’s interested in your work, friends, and especially your love life. This guy knows that the best way to get with you is to keep building a rapport. So whenever you’re in a group together or out on the town, he’s constantly directing the conversation back to you. He wants to show that he’s interested in you, and at the same time, get on your good side. Why? Because he’s fantasizing about getting closer to you. [10] X Research source
- If you two are hanging in a group, he might even ask to go somewhere private to catch up. And if he's trying to get you alone, that's a good sign that he's into you.
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Not all guys are confident with their crushes—some feel anxious and stressed. If he’s into you, he might not be flirty, touchy, and smooth talking. He might not be able to think straight when you’re around at all, which could have the opposite effect. Maybe, he finds himself acting standoffish, or saying the wrong thing over and over again. [11] X Research source
- Nerves look different on different people. You might notice a shaking voice, sweaty palms, nervous laughter, or an inability to hold eye contact.
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This guy is set on making your appearance a center focus. You already know that this guy loves to compliment you so that you feel super special around him. Similarly, you might find him constantly talking about your appearance—either to compliment you or to notice little changes you make—because he wants you to know that he thinks about how you look (specifically, how good you look). This could also be because he just notices more than other people do; because he's super attracted to you, he is constantly staring at you!
- For example, he might compliment your appearance (“Wow, I never noticed how green your eyes are”), talk about your clothes (“I like that you always look really unique and stylish”), or call out changes in your appearance (“Is that a new haircut?”).
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He enjoys being around you, and it’s clear to anyone with eyes. When you two talk, he’s cheesing like it’s his job. It feels like everything you say is met with a smile, and every joke you make gets a huge laugh. The reason for this isn’t surprising—he’s trying to signal that he likes you, and he also just genuinely loves to be in your presence. No surprise, it's fun to be around people who we're super attracted to! [12] X Research source
- And fun fact: this isn't just a potential sign that he's sexually into you. If this guy is all smiles whenever you're together, there's also a good chance that he's just into you in general!
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Subconsciously, he’s obsessed with your pheromones. This is a classic one. By now, you might know that smell is super connected to attraction. When people are attracted, they’ll usually love the subtle scents that come along with their crush. For this reason, he might be all about your smell, and might even ask about the perfume you wear. This is a major sign that he has the hots for you!
- Did you know that there are natural ways (like working out, for example) to increase your pheromones? So if you're trying to make this guy even more attracted to you, stop by his house after your run!
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He’s doing whatever he can to show you that he’s into you. This one is a bit of a no-brainer—why do people flirt? To express attraction! If he’s always batting those lashes and teasing you in sweet ways, he’s probably dreaming of being with you. People flirt in different ways, but in general, they might make it clear that they’re single, give you tons of attention, and find excuses to talk to you. [13] X Research source
- Here’s a test. Next time you two are chatting, make a joke—but not a great one. If they laugh (or even better, they jokingly tease you for your lack of comedic instinct), they’re probably flirting!
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He seems weirdly invested in your romantic life. It seems like he’s always telling you about people who think you’re hot, or asking about people that you’re interested in. The reason for this? Even if he hasn’t said anything to you yet, he thinks of you as more than a friend. So when he tells you his friend has a crush on you, it’s to gauge your reaction. When he wants to know who you’re interested in, it’s to see if he still has a chance to hook up with you.
- He might try to be subtle about it, but the message is still clear: "Yeah, now that you mention it, Kayla said you went on a date last week. How'd that go?"
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He wants to show you that you care. Listening is a great way to make someone feel special, and that’s probably what he’s trying to do with you. Whether you’re talking about work, your friends, or your aspirations, he’s willing to listen to you talk as long as you want to. It might not even be strategic on his part—he just loves that while you talk, he gets to look at you! [14] X Research source
- Give him bonus points if he also asks thoughtful, clarifying questions. This shows that he’s being super intentional and paying close attention to you. If he does this, he's probably desperately hoping to get with you.
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When a guy really likes you, sometimes you’ll just feel it. It’s hard to put into words, but there’s something about the vibe that he puts out—you just know that he’s attracted to you sexually. Though it goes without saying that you should always trust what he tells you more than any unspoken connection you feel, a lot of the time, it’s still a good way to get a read. You might be picking up on subtle cues that you can feel, but couldn’t put into words.
- In this case, it could be that you're picking up on little cues without even consciously registering it. Your gut is a powerful tool!
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Presents are a great way to put a good vibe out there. If he’s trying to get with you, he wants to set himself apart. Anyone can flirt with you or make a move, but who else brought you your favorite chocolate bar, just to be sweet? He might try to choose thoughtful gifts to make sure you know he’s paying attention, or he might get you something random just to show he was thinking about you. He does this because he wants you bad , so he's willing to put in the work. [15] X Research source
- He might also get you a gift to lightly poke fun at you. For example, he might bring buy a new day planner if you're chronically late.
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It seems like when you need something, he’s ready to jump into action. It might not even always make sense. Maybe he’s always there to offer you a ride, to bring you food, or to make sure you’re alright when you’re upset. It seems like whenever you need a friend, he’s magically at your disposal. The reason won’t surprise you: it’s because he wants to impress you (and if you're up for it, get physical with you too)! [16] X Research source
- And on top of that, if there's a chance that you two will end up alone in the process, he doesn't want to miss any opportunities.
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This is a subtle sign that he’s excited and paying attention. When guys constantly touch their face, it’s often because they’re extra conscious of how they’re moving and what they’re doing. He’s on edge around you (because he’s sexually attracted to you), so he might be more likely to make little physical gestures, especially ones that draw attention to his face. [17] X Research source
- Bonus points if he keeps touching his mouth! That's an especially strong sign that he's got it bad for you.
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For a lot of people, conversational compatibility can signal other things. Really witty, exciting conversations can be a stimulating way to flirt. Plus, to some people, this is one of the most thrilling ways to build a rapport and potentially, gear up for physical intimacy. If you feel like the two of you have incredible rapport—it’s funny, clever, and maybe a little flirty—that could be because there’s a connection between you two. And where's this connection coming from? Potentially, his sexual attraction towards you. [18] X Research source
- You might not have a great perspective on this one, but your friends will: "You and Norman really have a vibe going. I couldn't even keep up with your conversation."
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He thinks about you constantly—so he doesn’t forget anything. It just seems like all of the little things, like your birthday, your favorite hobbies, your big events, stick with him. This is because you’re always on his mind, so it’s hard to forget anything in relation to you! And a lot of the time, when you're "on his mind," he's probably fantasizing about you two spending time alone... [19] X Research source
- For instance, this guy would probably remember to send you a good luck text on the day of your big presentation.
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Yes, this one is pretty obvious. For some guys, beating around the bush and playing it coy is unnecessary. If he wants you, he’ll come right out and tell you! He might say it in a joking way, or maybe he’ll say it in a serious tone. But one thing’s for sure: he wants you to know that he’s down if you are.
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References
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/a43369809/signs-he-likes-you-hiding-it/
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/a43369809/signs-he-likes-you-hiding-it/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201910/8-key-nonverbal-signals-of-sexual-interest
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/a43369809/signs-he-likes-you-hiding-it/
- ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/how-guys-text-when-they-like-you/
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/a43369809/signs-he-likes-you-hiding-it/
- ↑ https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/body-language/22-examples-of-body-language-attraction/
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/a43369809/signs-he-likes-you-hiding-it/
- ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/how-to-tell-if-a-guy-likes-you/
- ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/how-to-tell-if-a-guy-likes-you/
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/a43369809/signs-he-likes-you-hiding-it/
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/a43369809/signs-he-likes-you-hiding-it/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/flirting
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/a43369809/signs-he-likes-you-hiding-it/
- ↑ https://www.activitysuperstore.com/blog/psychology-of-gift-giving
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/a43369809/signs-he-likes-you-hiding-it/
- ↑ https://www.today.com/health/18-body-language-clues-say-he-s-interested-definitely-t72476
- ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/what-is-flirting/
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/a43369809/signs-he-likes-you-hiding-it/
About This Article
This article was co-authored by Lisa Shield
and by wikiHow staff writer, Caroline Heiderscheit
. Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan. This article has been viewed 57,231 times.
12 votes - 77%
Co-authors: 4
Updated: May 5, 2023
Views: 57,231
Categories: Seduction
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 57,231 times.
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Co-authors: 4
Updated: May 5, 2023
Views: 57,231
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