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This article was co-authored by Christina Jay, NLP
and by wikiHow staff writer, Jessica Gibson
. Christina Jay is a Matchmaker and Certified Life Coach based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Christina is the founder of Preferred Match (preferredmatch.ca), her matchmaking service that finds love for successful and elite individuals. She has over 10 years of coaching experience, earned her NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) certification through NLP Canada Training, and has a BA in Business Administration from Brock University.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
This article has been viewed 32,705 times.
The lines between hanging out and dating can be blurry, especially if you haven't talked about having a relationship. If you'd rather not have the "are we dating?" talk, there are signs you can look for to see if you're basically dating. If you do want to DTR (define the relationship), we'll explain which signs indicate you're ready to discuss it. Read through our comprehensive list of tell-tale signs and see how many resonate with you.
Things You Should Know
- If you can't keep your hands off of each other and often get mistaken as a couple, you could be unofficially dating.
- Additional signs include talking about each other like you're already a couple, using pet names, and including each other in future plans.
- If you've met each others' families and know there's more to your relationship than just sex, it's likely you're unofficially dating.
Steps
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You feel that spark of excitement whenever they're near. If you're not sure if you're dating, trust your gut—you should feel butterflies in your stomach or your face should light up when you see them. They may have even said something like, "Hey, I feel like we really hit it off—want to see if this goes anywhere?"
- Most people who are dating can tell within a few dates whether or not they've got chemistry with someone. If you're asking yourself if you're unofficially dating, you two probably have some spark.
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You're unofficially dating if you see yourselves as a team. When you talk with a group of friends, you two speak for each other saying "we" instead of "me and you." You two act like a couple because you are a couple whether you realize it or not.
- If you think about them dating another person, you get jealous. Plus, you can't picture yourself being with anyone else.
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You two always want to know what's going on with each other. You just can't wait until you see each other again! Texting or calling is your way of staying connected—you both message about interesting or funny things that happen throughout your day or you ask for their opinion. [1] X Research source
- Are they the first person you text in the morning or the last person you say goodnight to? This is a sign you're pretty close to each other.
- Think about when you call or text each other—if it's at all hours day or night, you've probably moved into dating territory.
- If their texts are personal and specific, not just memes, it's a good sign you're not in the friend zone.
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You're attracted to each other, so you want to be as close as possible. You pat them on the back, they place a hand on your shoulder, or you two stand next to each other with your arms brushed together. If you two are really comfortable with each other, you've probably progressed to holding hands.
- Physical touch not only strengthens your bond with the other person, but it also sends a signal to other people that you're together.
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You both want everyone to know that you're together! Take it as a good sign that you're dating if you frequently pop up on the other person's social media, especially if you're in their profile pic or status updates. [2] X Research source
- If you two have posted a casual picture where you're enjoying each other's company, you've already gone Instagram official.
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Chances are, you both assume you'll meet up whenever you're free. You two even go out of your way to get out of obligations like work so you can see more of each other. If you're unofficially dating, you probably know the other's schedule like the back of your hand. [3] X Research source
- You two don't even have to plan dates—just hanging out and watching TV, doing homework, or working on a project are all good signs that you want to be around each other.
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If you're unofficially dating, people will pick up on the sparks that fly! It's easy for strangers to spot chemistry between two people, so don't be surprised if people make a comment about your boyfriend or girlfriend—they just assume you're dating.
- If you say something like, "Oh, he's not my boyfriend," the person might say something like, "Right, honey." They clearly see that there's mutual attraction.
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This is a sign that they're always on your mind even when they're not around. If you've moved into relationship territory, they probably can't stop thinking about you either! It might even get to the point where it's hard for you to make a decision without their advice—a sign that you're firmly in couple territory. You two also talk about personal opinions like what's important to them in life or what they're looking for in a relationship.
- For instance, if a new song comes on the radio, you find yourself wondering what they'd think about it.
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The relationship has definitely progressed when pet names come into play. These are names that you only use with each other, so it shows that you're not just friends. Cute nicknames are something personal that you two share—a good sign you're going out.
- If you want to DTR (define the relationship) , talking about nicknames is a super casual way to bring it up. You could say, "So, I'm babe now—does that mean we're dating?"
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You're too busy putting your energy into your new relationship. You might realize that you don't think or care about old relationships anymore. This is a pretty big deal if you had some meaningful relationships that were hard to get over. The fact that you don't care shows that you're enjoying dating again.
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This shows that you two act like a couple. After all, you're spending so much time together, so why not leave a change of clothes, your toothbrush, or some of your books and music at each other's place? [4] X Research source
- If you two tend to spend most of your time at one person's place, this is where you probably leave your things. For instance, if you always hang out at your girlfriend's place, she might not need to bring her things over to your place.
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They're the person you'd immediately contact if you need anything. You just know instinctively that they'll be there for you for help, advice, or comfort. This is a pretty clear sign that you're unofficially dating. Plus, they'd be hurt if you didn't reach out to them when you needed support. [5] X Research source
- They might come to you for something big like a family emergency or for something minor like a rough day.
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This is actually a pretty big deal since they're putting themselves out there. They want you to meet people who are important to them, and they want those special people to get to know you—no pressure! [6] X Research source
- You might make the move to introduce them to your closest friends and family, too.
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You don't want to experience things without them because it won't be as enjoyable. If you're dating, you don't want to do fun things on your own since you have someone to share these experiences with.
- For instance, maybe a friend asks you to go see a movie with them, but you know your unofficial boyfriend or girlfriend was dying to see that one. You'll take a pass and see it with your sweetie instead.
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It's not weird to stop by and say "hi" for no reason if you're dating. You probably don't think twice about swinging by the place where they work or meeting up with them in between their classes. This shows that you two are pretty connected, so you're probably dating.
- Remember, you don't need a reason for dropping in other than wanting to see them.
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This person makes you feel like you can be yourself around them. [7] X Research source While you want them to like you, you know you don't have to pretend to be someone you're not. You like them and want to spend all your time getting to know them better.
- If you were friends to begin with, you might already be really comfortable with each other. The difference is that you two share your deepest feelings with one another.
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If you've been hooking up, it feels more personal. At first, sex might have been casual but if you start to have an emotional connection, it's a sign that you two are involved in a relationship.
- They might act more romantic or spend more time on foreplay for instance. Maybe you fall asleep in each other's arms or snuggle instead of doing the deed.
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If you ask them to define the relationship, you know they'd say you two are dating. This is probably because it feels like you two already are! However, it's totally fine for you or them to straight-up ask if you're dating.
- If you want to bring it up, you might say, "Hey, I know we've been seeing a lot of each other lately and I'm having a lot of fun. Are we dating?"
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You two picture being together and talk about what you want. You know what they like and dislike, but you also open up about your dreams. This is probably because you find it hard to picture life without them. Congratulations, you're definitely dating! [8] X Research source
- You also start to think of them as your partner, especially if you think they might be the one.
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Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about relationship stages, check out our in-depth interview with Christina Jay, NLP .
References
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a54138/are-we-together-or-nah/
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/a26827418/dating-vs-relationship/
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a54138/are-we-together-or-nah/
- ↑ https://youtu.be/OiUBm3eswZI?t=114
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/a26827418/dating-vs-relationship/
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a54138/are-we-together-or-nah/
- ↑ https://youtu.be/J1devtZQeFc?t=148
- ↑ https://youtu.be/OiUBm3eswZI?t=168
About This Article
This article was co-authored by Christina Jay, NLP
and by wikiHow staff writer, Jessica Gibson
. Christina Jay is a Matchmaker and Certified Life Coach based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Christina is the founder of Preferred Match (preferredmatch.ca), her matchmaking service that finds love for successful and elite individuals. She has over 10 years of coaching experience, earned her NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) certification through NLP Canada Training, and has a BA in Business Administration from Brock University. This article has been viewed 32,705 times.
5 votes - 92%
Co-authors: 6
Updated: September 18, 2023
Views: 32,705
Categories: Dating
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 32,705 times.
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