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This article was co-authored by Lisa Shield
and by wikiHow staff writer, Annabelle Reyes
. Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan.
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This article has been viewed 7,488 times.
You just had an amazing first date, and you still have butterflies when you think about it. But after a few hours pass, you start to wonder if your date feels the same way you do. We’ve all been there! Luckily, we’ve compiled a thorough list of signs that a first date went well, including insights from relationship experts and professional dating coaches. Keep reading for everything you need to know!
Biggest Signs of a Successful First Date
- Conversation flowed effortlessly, and you felt like you had natural chemistry.
- They had open, engaged body language throughout the night, and they leaned in closer to you while you were speaking.
- They sent you a follow-up text after the date to let you know they had a great time.
Steps
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Chemistry is hard to define, but you know it when you feel it. It usually means that you have an intense spark of attraction to someone, yet you also feel at ease and comfortable in their presence. You may also feel like you’re naturally in sync with each other, even though you just met. [1] X Research source If this describes the vibe between the two of you, chances are your date was a major success!
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This indicates that you and your date had a great time together. It also shows that the two of you have a similar sense of humor (which is a positive sign for your future compatibility!). [2] X Research source If your date was filled with shared giggles, belly laughs, and hilarious jokes, you can safely assume that it went very well.
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People tend to smile more when they’re around someone they like. In fact, an individual’s rate of smiling tends to increase dramatically when they’re in the presence of someone they’re physically attracted to. If you noticed that your date couldn’t keep a goofy grin off their face throughout the night, this is a major sign that they’re into you! [3] X Research source
- Keep a look out for open-mouthed smiles in particular, which are more common when someone is sexually interested in you. [4] X Research source
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This shows that you’re comfortable with each other. If you found yourselves flowing from topic to topic easily with very few awkward silences to fill, this is a major indicator that you had a great first date! [5] X Research source
- Tip:
If you want to become a great conversationalist
on dates, Los Angeles-based dating coach Lisa Shield has some valuable advice:
- “Really great conversation happens when you take one topic and you go deeper with it,” Shield says.
- This is a more effective tactic than asking a bunch of unrelated, rapid-fire questions, which makes the date feel too much like an interview.
- For example, “You might say, ‘Where did you grow up?’ And they may say, ‘I grew up in Detroit.’ And you might say, ‘Wow, tell me about Detroit. What was it like growing up there?’” Shield explains.
- Tip:
If you want to become a great conversationalist
on dates, Los Angeles-based dating coach Lisa Shield has some valuable advice:
-
Body language cues can reveal that someone is attracted to you. “If someone is interested in you, they’re going to lean in, they’re going to be engaged,” says Cher Gopman, dating coach and founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC. This is called open body language, and it indicates that someone wants to become closer to you.
- If your date turned their body to face you, leaned in closer to you while you talked, and had their arms in an open position (rather than crossed), these are all signs that they were super into you! [6] X Research source
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Natural physical touches throughout the night indicate attraction. “Little touches on the arm, on the elbow, on the back while you’re talking—these are tremendous signs of interest,” says relationship expert Joshua Pompey.
- Even little things like picking a piece of lint out of your hair for you or straightening your crooked collar are positive signs.
- These types of touches are called “preening,” and they indicate that someone's physically attracted to you. [7] X Research source
-
Try to recall whether or not your date mirrored your body language. When two people are attracted to each other, they tend to subconsciously copy each other’s movements. If you tucked your hair behind your ear, for example, your date may have subconsciously reached for their own hair. Or, if you leaned toward them, they may have naturally leaned toward you, too. If you noticed your date mirroring your movements in this way, there’s a good chance they were into you! [8] X Research source
- Tip:
If you want to use body language to flirt
during a date, try to subtly mirror a few of your date’s gestures. [9]
X
Research source
- For example, if they lean in closer, lean in too. If they take a sip of their drink, reach for yours as well.
- Just be sure not to overdo it—you don’t want to copy every single thing they do. Just a few mirrored actions are enough to subtly convey your interest.
- Tip:
If you want to use body language to flirt
during a date, try to subtly mirror a few of your date’s gestures. [9]
X
Research source
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Gazing into someone’s eyes is very romantic. And, research shows that it can lead to even deeper feelings of attraction. [10] X Research source If the two of you made eye contact throughout your date, this is a major indication that you felt comfortable, connected, and attracted to each other.
- This may be harder to see—especially if you’re in a dimly lit restaurant or bar—but pupil dilation is another indicator of physical attraction.
- This is because gazing into someone’s eyes releases oxytocin, which causes your pupils to dilate. And, the wider the dilation, the more attracted the person feels!
-
Think about whether your date showed genuine interest in your life. If they asked thoughtful questions about your experiences, opinions, and values, rather than sticking to surface-level small talk, this is a very positive sign. [11] X Research source It indicates that they truly wanted to connect with you and get to know you better, and there’s a good chance they’ll be reaching out to you for a second date!
- Tip: If you’re looking for a few thoughtful questions to have in your back pocket for your next date, we’ve got you covered! Check out this list of questions to get to know your date better .
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Did your date listen attentively while you spoke? Active listening shows that someone is genuinely interested in what you have to say, and it increases feelings of connection. If your date made eye contact, faced you, nodded, and reacted with appropriate facial expressions as you spoke, these are all signs that they felt very engaged and connected to you. [12] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good in Action An initiative by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center promoting science-based practices for a meaningful life Go to source
- If your date remembers little details about the things you’ve said, this is also a good sign.
- Say, for example, that you told your date about a big presentation at work or school you had coming up the next week.
- If your date remembers this and texts you on the day of the presentation to wish you good luck, this is definitely an indication that they’re into you. [13] X Research source
-
Shared values indicate that you and your date are compatible. Did you both feel the same way about what’s important in life? Did you have similar views about what the ideal relationship would look like? Did you have similar moral codes? If you two were on the same page about these things, there’s a good chance you’d be compatible in the long run! [14] X Research source
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Did you feel comfortable and at ease in their presence? Although it’s totally normal to feel butterflies throughout a date, you shouldn’t feel super anxious the whole time. If your pre-date nervousness faded away pretty quickly once the two of you got to talking, this is a good sign that you’re compatible and have chemistry, which makes a second date much more likely. [15] X Research source
-
People often scroll on their phones when they feel bored. If the two of you were so engaged and absorbed in each other’s company that you barely looked at your phones, this is a major indication that the date went well! [16] X Research source
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Time flies when you’re having fun. If you both looked at the clock to find that hours had passed in what felt like minutes, this is definitely a sign that the date went well. It means that you were having so much fun that time disappeared, and there’s nothing more romantic than that! [17] X Research source
-
Did you find it hard to say goodbye to each other? Maybe you saw a movie together and then spontaneously decided to grab drinks or food afterward. Or, maybe you went to dinner, then found yourselves taking a stroll around town afterward so you could keep chatting. This shows that the two of you were having a great time that didn’t want the date to end. [18] X Research source
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This shows that they see potential with you. Say, for example, that you and your date talked about the fact that you both love scary movies, and they said something like, “There’s a new horror movie coming out next week that I’ve been dying to see. We should go together.” This is a super positive sign! It means that they’re already thinking about future dates with you, and they clearly want to get to know you better. [19] X Research source
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A goodnight hug or kiss is a very romantic ending to any date. If you shared either (or both!) of these before you parted ways, you can safely assume that they’re interested in you, and there’s a good chance a second date is in your future. [20] X Research source
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Social media opens the door to future communication. This means that they want to stay connected and keep in touch with you, which is definitely an indication that the date went well. This is especially true if they start liking your posts or watching your stories in the days following your date, explains New York City-based dating coach John Keegan.
-
Did they reach out to say they had a great time after your date? If so, this shows that they want to stay connected with you, and it’s a good indication that they’re planning on asking you out again, dating coach John Keegan explains. It also opens the door to future text conversations, so that the two of you can keep in touch even on days you don’t see each other.
- Tip:
If they haven’t reached out to you yet after your date, don’t be afraid to take the initiative and send a follow-up text
yourself! Here are some examples of what to say:
- “Hey, just wanted to say I had a great time tonight! Did you make it home okay?”
- “Thank you for such a fun time last night. We should do it again sometime!”
- “Just wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed our date, and I’d love to see you again.” [21] X Research source
- Tip:
If they haven’t reached out to you yet after your date, don’t be afraid to take the initiative and send a follow-up text
yourself! Here are some examples of what to say:
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There’s nothing quite like having an amazing first date. Even hours or days after it ends, you still feel the butterflies, and you can’t help but smile when you think about them. If this sounds like you, there’s a good chance your date felt the same spark and chemistry that you felt. [22] X Research source
- Tip:
If you’re feeling bold, consider asking for a second date
yourself. There’s no rule that says you have to wait for them to make the first move!
- Text them something casual, like, “I had a great time the other night, and I’d love to see you again this weekend if you’re free.”
- Or, make a more specific plan and say something like, “Hey! I heard that new wine bar is having its grand opening this Friday. Do you want to come with me?” [23] X Research source
- Tip:
If you’re feeling bold, consider asking for a second date
yourself. There’s no rule that says you have to wait for them to make the first move!
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/hot-thought/202310/what-is-romantic-chemistry
- ↑ https://news.ku.edu/news/article/2017/02/08/relationship-success-tied-not-joking-shared-sense-humor
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201910/8-key-nonverbal-signals-of-sexual-interest
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201910/8-key-nonverbal-signals-of-sexual-interest
- ↑ https://dearmedia.com/signs-a-first-date-went-well/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201910/8-key-nonverbal-signals-of-sexual-interest
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/let-their-words-do-the-talking/201607/5-nonverbal-clues-someone-is-interested-in-you
- ↑ https://www.bbc.co.uk/science/hottopics/love/flirting.shtml
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/202204/how-men-and-women-flirt-body-language
- ↑ https://www.bbc.co.uk/science/hottopics/love/flirting.shtml
- ↑ https://dearmedia.com/signs-a-first-date-went-well/
- ↑ https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/active_listening
- ↑ https://www.seventeen.com/love/dating-advice/a43369809/signs-he-likes-you-hiding-it/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fixing-families/202302/7-questions-to-help-you-know-if-youre-compatible
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fixing-families/202302/7-questions-to-help-you-know-if-youre-compatible
- ↑ https://dearmedia.com/signs-a-first-date-went-well/
- ↑ https://www.marriage.com/advice/relationship/signs-of-intense-chemistry-with-someone/
- ↑ https://dearmedia.com/signs-a-first-date-went-well/
- ↑ https://dearmedia.com/signs-a-first-date-went-well/
- ↑ https://dearmedia.com/signs-a-first-date-went-well/
- ↑ https://www.marieclaire.co.uk/life/sex-and-relationships/text-after-first-date
- ↑ https://dearmedia.com/signs-a-first-date-went-well/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201105/5-ways-indirectly-ask-date
About This Article
This article was co-authored by Lisa Shield
and by wikiHow staff writer, Annabelle Reyes
. Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan. This article has been viewed 7,488 times.
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Co-authors: 3
Updated: April 3, 2024
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Categories: Dating
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