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Standing up for what you believe in is an essential life skill. By asserting yourself, you are actively taking charge of your life. Asserting yourself can be scary, though, since you may be afraid of offending people or standing out from a crowd. By truly knowing yourself and your convictions, however, you will be able to find the courage to be your true self and stand up to make a difference for yourself or others. Once you’re ready to take a stand, you can do it through your actions, words, or a combination of the two.
Steps
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Learn to act even when you're afraid. Part of standing up for what you believe in is learning to be courageous. Courage doesn't mean you're not afraid. Many courageous people are afraid, but they act anyway because they know it's important. If you really believe in your cause, you need to act on it despite your fear. [1] X Research source
- Part of being courageous is picking a side. It's hard to act in the moment if you don't know what you stand for. For instance, if you don't know whether you're for or against an issue, such as spending taxpayer money on animal welfare, you may find yourself not wanting to speak up in conversation because you're on the fence. However, if you know where you stand, you'll be more inclined to speak about it.
- Other people may disagree with you, so be prepared to stand your ground no matter what others think.
- Don't be afraid to ask for help. Sometimes, you'll lean on others to find your courage, and that's okay. The more people you have behind you, the braver you'll feel.
- Focus on who you'll be helping. Often, when you're standing up for what you believe in, you're doing so to help others. Focusing on how they will benefit can help you feel more courageous.
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Encourage your acts of bravery. If you're like most people, you likely commit small acts of bravery throughout your day without even realizing it, especially if you are a bit reserved. For instance, maybe you've been dreading a phone call you need to make, and you finally pluck up the courage and do it. Take a moment to acknowledge that you've shown a small act of courage. These small acts can inspire you to be braver in other areas, such as when you need to stand up for a belief. [2] X Research sourceAdvertisement
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Stand up for others who are unable to. Putting your beliefs into action often means standing up for others who can't stand up for themselves. Sometimes people are unwilling or unable to speak up for themselves, and you need to step in. [3] X Expert Source Mary Church, PhD
Research & Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 6 August 2021. If you are going to say you believe in compassion, for instance, you must put it into practice when you see people in trouble.- For instance, you may need to step in when you see someone being bullied. Try to stop the bullying in its tracks by interrupting what the person is saying or by trying to separate the bully from the victim. If you're a kid, don't be afraid to ask an adult to help. Also, make sure the person is okay, mentally and physically. Get the person help if they need it. [4] X Trustworthy Source StopBullying.gov Website run by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services providing information related to identifying and preventing bullying Go to source
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Have conviction in your beliefs. Conviction is a feeling of certainty in your beliefs. [5] X Research source Knowing that you're on the right side of an issue makes it easier to stand up in the face of opposition. Challenges will come, but you can withstand them if you are firm in your belief.
- Standing up for someone may make you a target. If you stop a bully, the bully may turn their attention to you.
- When people challenge your belief, they are testing it. If you back down, then they will see it as a weakness in your position.
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Say something when you see behavior that bothers you. Part of putting your beliefs into action is speaking when you see something that goes against your core values. Now is the time you start standing up, when something is going on near you that you have the power to change. Take a deep breath, and speak up. [6] X Research source
- Suppose you are out with some male friends and one of them makes a derogatory comment about an attractive woman nearby. You can ignore it or choose to take a stand. Ask your friend, “Is that how you try to get dates?” or “How would you like if I talked to your sister like that?”
- By not ignoring behavior you find troubling, you can help spark conversation and possibly accelerate change.
- Remember that silence is its own position. When you are silent, you give your approval for what's happening. When there is a conflict around you, if you stay silent, people will think you agree with the status quo. [7] X Research source
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Be calm and non-confrontational while speaking up. When you speak up, how you say things matters. That is, if you get angry, other people tend to just hear the anger, not what you're saying. Plus, you're giving others permission to get angry, too. If you stay calm, you may be able to actually convince people to hear what you're saying, instead of just tuning you out.
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Put your values and beliefs first. If you're going to stand up for what you believe in, you may need to make some sacrifices at times. You may lose some "coolness" points because people don't think the same way you do. You may even lose some friends or acquaintances. That doesn't mean you should beat people over the head with your values. Rather, sometimes when you stand up for a value, acquaintances may decide they don't share the same values. [8] X Research source It can be hard, but putting your beliefs first will help you become a moral person.
- If you go against your beliefs, eventually your self-worth will suffer because you aren't being true to yourself. You'll have higher self-esteem if you live according to your own values.
- Don't let situations compromise your values. For instance, if you are in a job that asks you to do things that go against your personal values, you may need to find a new job.
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Discuss issues with friends and family members. When it comes to standing up for your beliefs with friends and family members, you may find it harder to do. You value those relationships, and so you may not want to disagree with the people you care about. [9] X Expert Source Mary Church, PhD
Research & Clinical Psychologist Expert Interview. 6 August 2021. However, you can still disagree in a calm and reasonable manner without it blowing up into a huge argument. [10] X Research source- First of all, it's fine to state your beliefs. You have a right to believe what you want to believe, even if it conflicts with what people near you believe. When you do state what you believe, make sure you do so calmly and have facts to back up what you say. That way, you can answer questions. In addition, try not to go into the discussion with the mindset of "winning." It should be a conversation, with both of you giving and taking.
- When discussing your beliefs, your goal should be to have your voice heard rather than to "win" an argument or change the other person's beliefs or actions.
- If the person is willing to discuss it with you, particularly if the person is on the fence, present your case for your side in a clear, logical way. Also, be willing to listen to what the other person has to say. That means actually hearing their side and concerns, not just preparing a counterargument. As you discuss, make it a point to try to find things that you both agree on. Often, you'll find common ground somewhere.
- If the discussion gets heated, decide if you want to get in a fight over it. You've stated what you believe, so getting in an argument will likely not resolve anything or change the person's mind. You may just want to back out of the discussion by saying, "Let's agree to disagree." You don't have to permanently damage a relationship just because you disagree with someone. On the other hand, if you disagree with someone on many core values, you may find you want to spend less time with them.
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Express your opinion in a public forum. Whether you speak up at a school assembly, community meeting, or town hall, your opinion will definitely be heard. Prepare yourself ahead of time with the arguments you will present, and you will be more effective at communicating your viewpoint.
- For example, maybe you believe that education should be a right for all. You've heard that your city is talking about taking more money away from education. You can show up to town meetings that are aimed at discussing the issue and present what your thoughts.
- Be clear in your presentation and don’t beat around the bush. Say what you want clearly and concisely. [11] X Research source
- Others may be unwilling to speak up on something, but they may be inspired if they see you take action first.
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Write a letter. A great and effective way to express your viewpoint is to write a letter to the people that represent you in government. You can write letters to people who govern your city, such as your school board or your mayor. You can write to people at the state level of government, such as members of congress or your governor. You can write to your national representatives, including the president, your representatives, and your senators. [12] X Research source
- All of these people represent you, so you have a right to make your point heard. Express your point simply but completely, and keep the focus on your primary topic.
- For instance, say your city is starting a new project that you think is a complete waste of taxpayer money. You can write your mayor to tell them how you feel about it.
- A letter is sometimes more effective, but you can also contact your representatives through email or phone, if you prefer.
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Start a blog or podcast. Another way you can make your voice heard is through avenues like blogs and podcasts. A blog is just an online space where you make posts about anything you want. You can focus yours on issues you care about. How you set up your blog is up to you. That is, you can tell personal stories, bring up issues, or tell others' stories, just to name a few. [13] X Research source
- A podcast is an audio recording available through online and mobile channels that's updated regularly. Like a blog, you can focus on whatever issues you want.
- One key to creating a blog or podcast is to update regularly. Most readers/listeners will want regular updates.
- You can share your blog on your social network to start gaining followers.
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Join an advocacy group. Often, it is easier to take a stand when you’re surrounded by people who share similar opinions because you can strengthen each other's conviction in your beliefs and keep each other well-informed. Additionally, working with an advocacy group can help you find more ways to advocate for your cause or create change. Since there is greater strength in numbers, you may be able to do more for your cause if you work with a group rather than alone. [14] X Research source
- Advocacy groups are available for all types of issues, such as environmental groups or human rights organizations. If, for example, you have decided not to experiment with drugs or alcohol while in high school, you may benefit from joining a drug-free teen group.
- Check local organizations that support nonprofits in your area, as you'll find lots of places where you can put your beliefs into action. You can also use social media to find groups in your area, as well as the internet. Your local library may also be able to connect you with advocacy groups.
- You can also ask people you know who have similar beliefs. Often, they may already be involved in these groups, and they can help get you involved, too.
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Get help if you need it. Some jobs are just too large to accomplish on your own. Inform friends and family about what you're doing, and ask them to help or spread the word. The more people you convince to fight for your belief, the better off you'll be.
- Try galvanizing efforts on social media. You can organize meetings, online or offline, to take action together, or you can use social media to spread information about your cause by writing informational posts.
- Start a petition . Online petitions are a great way to gather signatures for a cause. You can use social media to spread the word.
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Prioritize your beliefs. Everyone has beliefs that are stronger than others. It's important to determine your core beliefs so you can prioritize them when you are out in the world. You can't fight for everything all the time, so you need to figure out what's most important to you. Clarify your core beliefs to yourself so that you'll be able to explain them to others.
- Try to narrow down to five core beliefs. These beliefs are the ones that you absolutely cannot live without. If you're having trouble deciding, look at what you put first in your life. If you place friends and family above all else, then the importance of relationships is likely a core value for you. On the other hand, maybe you've chosen a more solitary life so you can see the world. In that case, maybe independence and boldness are two of your core values.
- You might also look to your greatest accomplishments and the people you admire to figure out your core values. [15] X Research source
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Create a physical remind of your core values. Once you figure out your five core values, put them in a single list. Stick them up where you can see them every day. Keep a list in your wallet, and refer to it. As you focus on these beliefs and values, think about how you can incorporate them into your life.
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Define the issues you want to take action on. Once you know your values, you start to realize which issues are most important to you, and you'll find it easier to take a side. Knowing precisely what you are asking for or trying to change will help you approach the situation confidently and help you maintain your composure in a challenging situation. [16] X Research source
- For a community issue, it's important to research to learn more. Read articles and talk with those in your area to learn more about each issue.
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Know the other side of the issue, too. When you're researching an issue, you're most likely to look at articles that confirm what you already believe to be true, which can act like an echo-chamber that reinforces a certain set of beliefs. That's called confirmation bias. However, you can't really stand up for an issue until you really understand the other side. Understanding the other side will help you see where they're coming from, which can lead to discussion rather than just argument. [17] X Research source
- That means it's important to look at information from both sides of the table. Of course, you still want that information to be legitimate. Don't go for spammy sites. Rather, stick to well-trusted sites, such as .gov or .edu sites that use facts and statistics to back up their claims.
- Also, always think about who is sponsoring the information you're viewing. If they are on one side of the issue, the information could very well be skewed.
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Choose your battles. Of course, you want to stand up for what you believe in, but sometimes the consequences may not be worth it to you. Before you wade into battle, you need to decide where your line is; once it is crossed, that is when you decide to enter the discussion. [18] X Research source
- It's important to consider two things when deciding whether you should wade in. One, you should consider whether the situation is so disturbing to you that you feel like you must speak up. If it is, you likely want to take a stand.
- Two, think about your relationship with the person. If the person has authority over you, such as a boss, teacher, or cop, you may decide that the battle isn't worth what it will cost you. Similarly, when you're considering entering an argument with someone you're close to, you should weigh whether the cost to the relationship is worth defending your beliefs.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionCan you provide some stories on when someone stood up for someone or an issue that they care about?Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.You can find a lot of stories on the internet, in books, and in movies that show examples of standing up for something. Here is a great source for examples: http://examples.yourdictionary.com/examples-of-courage.html
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QuestionI stand up for others, but what if they don't want help?Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.If they don't want your help, then they may not share your beliefs and would rather fight their own battles.
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/quiet-the-power-introverts/201506/how-be-courageous
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/quiet-the-power-introverts/201506/how-be-courageous
- ↑ Mary Church, PhD. Research & Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.
- ↑ https://www.stopbullying.gov/respond/on-the-spot/index.html
- ↑ https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/conviction
- ↑ https://www.upworthy.com/this-movement-wants-guys-to-take-a-stand-when-women-face-verbal-harassment
- ↑ https://www.inc.com/kevin-daum/5-reasons-you-should-speak-up-even-when-you-think-you-shouldnt.html
- ↑ https://thoughtcatalog.com/corinda-katz/2014/05/6-things-you-should-never-sacrifice-for-the-sake-of-being-cool/
- ↑ Mary Church, PhD. Research & Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 6 August 2021.
- ↑ https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/family-conflict
- ↑ https://www.riskology.co/how-to-take-a-stand-and-change-the-world/
- ↑ https://www.writeexpress.com/How-to-Write-a-Letter-to-Congress.html
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/tomwatson/2013/05/12/mom-bloggers-build-a-network-for-activism-and-change/#468af480293c
- ↑ https://www.webmd.com/parenting/teen-abuse-cough-medicine-9/teens-take-stand-drugs
- ↑ https://jamesclear.com/core-values
- ↑ https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/standing-up-for-your-people.htm
- ↑ https://medium.com/@SeanBlanda/the-other-side-is-not-dumb-2670c1294063#.plumri2ux
- ↑ https://lifehacker.com/how-to-choose-your-battles-and-fight-for-what-actually-5989295
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